My made up interview with Marvel

My made up interview with Marvel

Trying to sell a script is hard, not willing to fellow Disney movie formula is harder. Come read my satirical conversation that shows it's all been done before.

Editorial Opinion
By BizarrosBest - Mar 27, 2016 10:03 PM EST
Filed Under: Marvel Comics
WARNING THIS IS MADE UP. Maybe to warning is a bit much. I do enjoy the movies.

Me:
Thanks for seeing, I've been working on this Moon Knight script and I think it has a chance to be something special.

Disney: No problem. Well lets get started.

Me: Well Moon Knight is a pretty serious character. I know Marvel has a history with making everyone have "witty" one liners but I don't think that should be him. With him having to deal with the Egyptian god of vengeance and all.

Disney: We can't do that. We focus on being neutral with religions here.

Me: What about Thor?

Disney: Alien. We are sensitive enough to not prove anyone religion right.

Me: But not sensitive enough to just wave off a whole religion cause people aren't smart enough to know the difference between the two.

*Awkward silence*

Me: I can work around that. Well he has a buddy name Frenchie that is his pilot. Withe him I thought we could throw in some LBGT rights. Make him fight some Neo-Nazi or something. It would be great and we wouldn't tip toe around it like X-Ma

Disney: Again no. We can't have that in a movie. It's one thing to threaten Georgia trying to pass the law. People don't want deep thoughts and controversy. We want has many people to enjoy this has possible.

Me: Can he still be in it.

Disney: Yea, enough people don't know who he is. He should be killed off still, our studies show people love that stuff.

Me: He doesn't in my script. That's a lot of work I would have redo.

Disney: If he's likable he can come back. They all come back.

Me: People have to know it would be meaniless if he comes back.

Disney: They won't care. Loki has died multiple times, Winter soldier and Captain America in his first outing. Agent Coulson is back. Killed Tony for a hot minute and Pepper Potts was thought to have died too. Groot even had is death moment. Death at Disney doesn't happen unless you're a parent. I guess Quicksilver is dead, but who knows if he'll be in our next one.

Me: People really don't care?

Disney: Almost grossed 8 billion baby.

*Awkward Silence*

Disney: So who's the bad guy?

Me: It won't be Crossfire or Bushman because you guys have done the whole partner betraying them before.  So I went with werewolves and vampire. With the call back to his first appearance we could add Blade if this works out to another one.

Disney: We do like throwing more people in on sequels but, we don't think he could carry half a film. I mean it took like 10 other heroes for us to even think about Black Panther and even then he's not the "cool" new guy. The only reason we allowed Falcon was because we don't have the rights the the other guys. I do like the partner betraying him though.

Me: You've done it with Loki and Thor, Winter Soldier and Captain America. Whatever the hell Redford character name was to Nick Fury. Half of Shield themselves were traitors. Ultron himself was a traitor on the inventor. I'm sure I forgot some.

Disney: The first one. Once Stane did it to Toni, we had our formula. Loki whole thing is he was betrayed by his father.

Me: I don't think my script will work here.

Disney: It will, we will hire a great director and take away his free will. Get the same people to fix the script we like and then it would break 600 Million without even trying. We know what will sell. We want money, not an Academy Award. This is your new script. Your guy is complex like Captain. We will hint about PTSD for 10 seconds at a gym then make him have a give a caring stoic line. After that mostly one liners. People won't care. We took away Thor over the top battle cries, but we'll make you laugh at a coffee joke. Banner should be the most complex character but be calmed by a poem. As long as he has a get's a cool line like " I'm always angry" and people just will take it in. They won't even have to finish the climatic battle. There's no fighting until the end we will Deux ex Machina that bit.  Maybe you gotta place three things to stop the ultimate weapon, a staff can close a portal that kills an army, suit malfunction, or hell we can make people dance then hold hands. We're Disney we don't give a damn.

Me: I'm leaving this is to much.

Disney: We've only done three alien invasion. You want that?

Me: Go away...

Disney: Tell anyone and we'll sue. We did it to a day care and won. You have no chance!

This was to point out that a lot of the Disney Marvel movies are starting to recycle themselves. Sooooo skip reading the comment section if you're having a good day. I'll try writing more and try not having such a fire strarter article. Later
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TomSolo
TomSolo - 3/28/2016, 12:36 AM
While I did chuckle at this (I wouldn't doubt that many pitches to any studio follow a painfully similar arc), you made me sad that a Moon Knight movie (or Netflix show, which I think would KILL) may never get made. Lay off Moon Knight! You're depressing me. :)
CrappyNappy
CrappyNappy - 3/28/2016, 1:01 AM
@TomSolo - Daredevil season 1 and 2. Jessica Jones. Rape, murder, human trafficking, drug trade, suicide, gang warfare...need I go on?

Why is the idea of a darker and more gritty character like Moon Knight being pitched to Marvel so inconceivable when they have already green-lit two shows (and 2 more) that are exactly like it
TomSolo
TomSolo - 3/29/2016, 6:30 AM
@CrappyNappy - It's not... I was more kind of implying that it wouldn't happen because the author of this article sort of said it wouldn't in his mock-scenario, and so I was playing along that I agreed with him that it wouldn't get made, and therefore I was sad. None of which was true, but I was trying join in on the fun. As you can see from my other comment below, I would LOVE a Moon Knight series, and I think it could be not only possible, but very interesting. Well, at least that's mt opinion. :)
TomSolo
TomSolo - 3/28/2016, 12:50 AM
Oh, & btw, my Moon Knight pitch would be this:

Tone and look: almost black and white, high contrast. Almost to the point of Sin City's look. Film Noir. Marc Spector narrarates the series.

I'm not sure how you would go with the story, but I think it would be cool if they used the scene from the one book where he fights his way to the top floor of a build as the main glue to the series. So it would start and end with that, and the rest of the show would be flashbacks, with more of that scene put in throughout each episode to trigger the flashbacks.

I think they should also make him insane. The story could kind of make the viewer question whether or not Marc has powers that wax and wane with the lunar cycle, or if it all in his head and he is actually mortal, or if he is actually superpowered all the time but he believes his powers change with the lunar cycles.

As far as Konshu goes, again, I think it would be cool if the viewer questioned whether or not Marc is tslking to a god that has empowered him, or if Konshu is just a manifestation of Marc's unstable mentality.

I really yhink Moon Knight has the potential for Marvel to tell a very different and exciting story that they have yet to tell. Also, if it doesn't need to be 13 episodes, they should not drag it out. That's been a big critique I've had with their Netflix seasons. Sometimes I feel the story could be told in 8-10 episodes.
CrappyNappy
CrappyNappy - 3/28/2016, 1:08 AM
You're an attention seeker. I suppose in the end, you got your wish. People will undoubtedly respond negatively to your article, because you wanted that. You went out of your way to ensure that. It's pathetic.

Also you're naive. Joseph Loeb is in charge of Marvel TV, and in case you haven't noticed, we already have TWO marvel show's that deal with mature theme's and adult situations.

Daredevil? A character who's more brutal than much of what we've seen before. The show's not afraid to show blood, gore and extreme violence (A man has his freaking head crushed by a car door)

In season 2 we have Punisher. Who hangs his dead enemies from meathooks and cuts out their entrails. I'm sorry, where were the quips, one liners and slapstick comedic moments from him? That's not the style of Marvel TV shows. That's not to say they're not human, and that these characters don't joke around every once in a while. Because, like I said, they're still people.

Jessica Jones? Rape. (so much for the whole, "hurr durr we don't touch controversy") and again, not afraid to show violence or graphic situations.

We haven't even touched the Iron Fist and Luke Cage tv shows either. Which will definitely follow the same mature theme's that its predecessors have had.

I have a feeling you probably knew at least one person would have the exact response I'm giving to you now. You probably don't care. You're either too afraid to engage in conflict, or you love it and wrote this article for the attention. But regardless of why you wrote this, I'm still going to call you out on your BS.
Kurne
Kurne - 3/28/2016, 1:55 AM
Salt: The Salt Continues
SpideySupes94
SpideySupes94 - 3/28/2016, 2:01 AM
This article was horrible.
MiopTop
MiopTop - 3/28/2016, 5:58 AM
This is just sad.
WYLEEJAY
WYLEEJAY - 3/28/2016, 8:05 AM
(Tries to read article)....umm....I think I know the real reason they passed on your script...
huckfinnisher
huckfinnisher - 3/28/2016, 10:00 AM
I get what you are trying to do here and although I generally disagree that Marvel is willing to take risks. I mean weren't they a part of the admittedly awful GR:SOV? Its not a good Ghost Rider movie but it does take the religious aspects of the character seriously, so you saying that they wouldn't with Moon Knight is just strange. Also I think this entire article would be better if it were less personal. Like just a theoretical movie pitch from an outside perspective. If it were just someone pitching Moon Knight as opposed to yourself it would just seem less biased at least imo.
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