The Man of Steel Returns With: Big Trouble in Little China (Remake) Fan Cast

Okay. You people sit tight, hold the fort and keep the home fires burning. And if we're not back by dawn... call the president.

Fan Fic Opinion

When some wild-eyed, eight-foot-tall maniac grabs your neck, taps the back of your favorite head up against the barroom wall, looks you crooked in the eye and asks you if ya paid your dues, you just stare that big sucker right back in the eye, and you remember what ol' Jack Burton always says at a time like that: "Have ya paid your dues, Jack?" "Yessir, the check is in the mail."

JACK BURTON [Height: 5’11”, Age: 30’s-40’s]: In the movie Big Trouble in Little China Jack Burton is a self-employed, all-American truck driver, who has quite an attachment to his truck: "The Porkchop Express." Jack Burton is the main character in Big Trouble in Little China. He just wants his truck back.

NATHAN FILLION [Height: 6’1½”, Age: 41] (Serenity, Castle): The perfect replacement for Kurt Russell’s Jack Burton. Every little bit and piece about him says “Jack Burton” And since the film wouldn’t get a sequel it’d be a nice one off film for him to do. Fillion is perfect; He’s got the looks, the voice, and charisma to play Jack Burton. No one else fits the bill as well as Fillion, he is JACK BURTON.

WANG CHI [Height: 5’5”, Age: 20’s-30’s]: Wang Chi is Jack Burton's friend from Big Trouble in Little China. He is a martial arts master and expert swordsman. His fiancée is capture by Lo Pan’s forces he must use Jack’s help to get her back.

JAY CHOU [Height: 5’8”, Age: 33] (The Green Hornet, True Legend): He’s just the perfect candidate for the role, he’s got the talent, look, and comedic timing to play Wang. The way he played Kato {In that Seth Rogen abortion} was very close to Wang. He’d work pretty well with Fillion I feel.

EGG SHEN [Height: 5’6”, age: 40’s-60’s]: Egg Shen is a sorcerer in Big Trouble in Little China. He drives a tour bus through Chinatown as a part-time job.

CHOW YUN FAT [Height: 6’1”, Age: 55] (The Killer, Hard Boiled): A fantastic actor who was the first person I thought of for Egg. He’s got the kind voice, and heroic mannerisms and the sage-like appearance that really is what Victor Wong had with Egg in the original. Yun Fat also know how to add comedy to her performance as well.

GRACIE LAW [Height: 5' 6½", Age: 30’s]: A no-nonsense attorney operating in San Francisco’s China Town, helping Immigrants Enter the United States before the Wing Kong can get their hands on them. Her tips help point Wang and Jack in the right direction before Lo Pan kidnaps her because she has green eyes.

COBIE SMULDERS [Height: 5’8”, Age: 32] (How I Met Your Mother, The Avengers): A perfect fit, Intelligent, beautiful, graceful, she is a fantastic actress who I just love to see work. This role would be a tailored fit for her, as many of her roles have fallen in between the lines that Gracie Law fits.

MIAO YIN [Height: 5' 6½", Age: 30’s]: Wang’s fiancée a girl he knew from his childhood in China and fell in love with. She falls into Lo Pan’s hands due to her Green eyes as Lo Pan searches for a Woman with Green Eyes who can tame the Naked Blade.

KRISTIN KREUK [Height: 5’4”, Age: 32] (Smallville, Street Fighter the Legend of Chun-Li): She’s got some Asian ancestry, and when she’s pushed she gives a good performance. No doubt Miao Yin is a small part and is barley on screen, she is a big player no doubt and Kreuk would be a fine fit for the role.

EDDIE LEE [Height: 5’9”, Age: 30’s-40’s]: The New Matradee at the Dragon of the Black Pool Restaurant and Wang’s close friend. He follows his friend and employer in the quest to get Miao Yin back from Lo Pan.

JOON PARK [Height: 5’11”, Age: 43] (Dragonball Evolution, Speed Racer): For this role I just wanted an actor who was a bit goofy but also who had talent and wasn’t ugly. He’s just the right fit for Eddie.

MARGO LITZENBERG [Height: 5’6½”, Age: 30’s-40’s]: A rookie reporter trying to get a story on the biggest mobster in Chinatown, called in for a scoop by her friend Gracie pulling her into the adventure.

CASSIDY FREEMAN [Height: 5’8”, Age: 32] (Smallville, Razor Sharp): A wonderful actress who is a stunning and a fantastic supporting actress. She fits the role pretty well.

UNCLE CHU [Height: 5'5", Age: 50's-60's]: Wang's Uncle and Co-Owner of the Dragon of the Black Pool Resturaunt, he knows the legend of Lo Pan and calls in Egg Shen to aid them.

JACKIE CHAN [Height: 5'8½", Age: 58] (Rumble in the Bronx, Rush Hour): A great actor who likes doing wiser, more sage-like roles. This is a cameo appearance i think he'd enjoy just because of the fun nature of the film.

DAVID LO PAN [Height: 7’, Age: 2000 {Switches between a 2000 year old body and a body that looks to be a Chinese Male in his Prime]: Lo Pan is the spirit of an ancient Chinese sorcerer and warrior. He is the arch-villain in Big Trouble in Little China. In Master of Magic, Lo Pan is an oriental mystic who specializes in both chaos and sorcery magic.

JET LI [Height: 5’6¼”, Age: 49] (The One, Lethal Weapon 4, Forbidden Kingdom): He’s played serious villain and he’s done comedic work, both are traits of Lo Pan. I actually think he would do it just to have a lighter tone film under his belt he’d be a great fit for the role and wouldn’t be forced to utilize his physical talents as much as his actual acting talent.

THUNDER [Height: 5’11”, Age: 30’s-40’s]: Lo Pan’s Right hand henchmen and leader of the three storms.

IAN ANTHONY DALE [Height: 6’, Age: 34] (The Hangover, Tekken]: He’s no stranger to playing the lead Henchmen, and he’s an actor I just like to see cast.

LIGHTING [Height: 5’11”, Age: 30’s-40’s]: Another member of the three storms who has the ability to control lighting.

RICK YUNE [Height: 6’, Age: 42] (Ninja Assassin, The Fast and Furious): Another decent actor adept to playing a henchmen who is also just fun to see.

RAIN [Height: 5’6”, Age: 30’s-40’s]: The final member of the three storms who has the ability of controlling the Rain.

HIROYUKI SANADA [Height: 5’7”, Age: 52] (The Last Samurai, Speed Racer): An amazing actor and martial artists, he’s done amazing work as an actor and is a great fit for the role.

WRITER & DIRECTOR: Writer of the story and script and Director, basically the show runner he’s got to keep everything together and make sure the film looks good. The Original masterpiece was directed by John Carpenter.

EDGAR WRIGHT [Height: 5’7”, Age: 38] (SHAUN OF THE DEAD, SCOTT PILGRIM VS. THE WORLD, HOT FUZZ): The perfect Candidate for directing and writing a remake of the John Carpenter classic, He is fantastic his style is intone and perfect. He captures the raw essence of his work and would no doubt be able to make a remake as good as the original film.

This is Jack Burton in the Porkchop Express and I'm talkin' to whoever's listening out there.Just remember what ol' Jack Burton does when the earth quakes, and the poison arrows fall from the sky, and the pillars of Heaven shake. Yeah, Jack Burton just looks that big ol' storm right square in the eye and he says, "Give me your best shot, pal. I can take it."

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