Yep, it’s me again. I know, I know; your head is still pounding, your lips are numb and the swelling traffic in your head is pressed right against the backs of your eyeballs, honking at your boss….who happens to be dressed very much like a traffic cop. Should probably think about adding an off-ramp in there, somewhere. In your psyche, I mean. Ahem. Yes, back again to deliver the goods. Future-Tiras is telling me that this is when you thank me. Waiting….Ok, you’re welcome. Future-Tiras and I would high-five, but that may negate my (our?) existence in the time stream. Future-Tiras and I have just agreed to simply…..bow to each other. Uhhh…on with the neo-new:
You like buttons, don’t you? You still buy em’ and stick ‘em on your jean jacket, am I right? Good, ’cause we got like, 17 tons of them. You like Green Lantern? Want to be a (pretend) member of the (pretend) group that (pretend) Green Lantern also happens to be a part of? Yeah? Well, you can’t be because it’s...pretend! But, you can pretend to be by purchasing the Green Lantern Official Member Button!
Know who else is part of that (pretend) group? Aquaman! Yep, and here’s the Aquaman Official Member Button to prove it. You’re wondering, "Just how in the hell did Aquaman get in there? The guy has the personality of a… of a sea anemone!" That’s right, they’re not very social and they have very little to offer as far as an opinion. They’re passive to the point of being annoying, is what I need to convey here.
The Wonder Woman Never Underestimate button says it all: “We can kick your @$$, but we choose not to because someone has to keep a level freakin’ head here!!” Stupid men. Really, ladies; it’s time for you to take over. Please. We’re not colonizing Mars any time soon since the general public is happier with phones-apps that allow one to shine a pair of buttocks into glass!! What this means to you, ladies, is that you either bail us out now, or…….well, it’s dirt-mining for me and 15 generations of my descendants.
Raincoats. Yep, we got raincoats. The Superman Juvy Caped Costume Raincoat is perfect for the wee Superman fan when…it’s raining. Oh, they can wear them inside, too. Dump water in front of a high-powered fan, tell little Bixby that there’s a tumbling plane over Hawaii and the weather is ill-mannered. See? Inside fun for kids and…whichever parent lost the coin toss. Check out the illustrated musculature, the soft , interior lining, the water-resistant, shiny material and…the removable cape! EEYEAH!!!
The Superherostuff.com Anti-rain campaign lead us to purchasing the Batman Juvy Caped Costume Raincoat! Same great material, same illustrated musculature. And check out that raised, printed utility belt. Great for Batman Jr’s….throwing-cookies or…….crime-stopping……trucks. I don’t know. If you’re a parent, keeping an eye on those toys with the highest potential for weaponization is always a priority.
Well…that’s all I got. Really, I have more, but Future-Tiras just mentioned that Mecha-boss Brian is going to enter my office and demand, aggressively, that I return to something resembling productivity. Thank you, Future-Tiras! Now, how about a High-Fiii….
POOOOOOOOOOF!
To be continued?