Cherry Bomb, a film made in 2011 went on to win many awards for the specified amount of talent involved within the making of the film. A simple film about revenge in the most over the top crazy way ever imaginable that not even a great director like Quentin Tarantino himself could craft. Given the idea by an
“Anonymous” CBM User", it’s time to remake this great masterpiece like no other can! The way Jacky can! And only him can, I don't know who else can. No this article has nothing to do with that other guy I did all the work! ME THAT'S WHO! This is an original work and this is my own gaawd given talent! PRAISE ME PEOPLE! JUST PRAISE ME ONLY!
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TITLE: CHERRY BOMB'ED
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DIRECTOR: Joseph Gordon-Levitt and Ben Stiller
These are two great visual directors with Levitt hot of the heels of his first directorial debut. I think the help of my writing and their directing this film could be perfectly crafted.
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Cast of Characters
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Cherry Bomb as Cherry Bomb
Why? Because I think she would be a fantastic actress! Besides it's not all the time a fellow user gets to be the star of one of the fan fictions so it's something very special :). All according to the plans of something something I don't know.
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STORY OR PLOT OR WHATEVER
Cherry Bomb goes to visit fellow actress Ellen Page at her mansion for an interview. Ellen Page opens the door and lets her in. Suddenly Robin Williams appears outside with a rocket launcher and also wearing a tribal mask. He blows up the mansion and hops in a car with driver Jason Statham at the wheel. Cherry Bomb walks out of the rumble unhurt but feels different. She now realizes she has the spirit and soul of Ellen Page within her! She looks down to see she is wearing a Wonder Woman costume. Now Cherry Bomb is out to get revenge on Robin Williams. She realizes she can fly and flies away to a local office building known as CBM where Ellen Page worked at. There she meets a group of talented employees who greet her with hugs and kisses and soon an entire bed scene. Then the next day Cherry Bomb wakes up and sees all the employees next to her then flies away out the window to the next destination.
Meanwhile the very doubtful evil genius Dr.Fargo is working on a formula to uncure World Hunger and he creates a laser to make the moon hungry and alive so the moon can eat the Earth. He beams the laser in space and at the moon as it grows vicious eyes and a mouth with jaws enough to crush many planets. The moon slowly makes its slow descent to Earth as it has a time bomb of 0:24 hours till it reaches Earth. Meanwhile Cherry Bomb starts to hear Ellen Page’s voice as she is trying to communicate with her. A psychiatrist named Dr.Spaghetti hears Ellen Page’s voice and immediately calls together the Secret Eye Community of Many Secrets to obtain Cherry Bomb and her new found powers. A member of that group named Hank contemplates the idea of infiltrating the CBM office building in order to secretly obtain Ellen Page’s spirit. They all agree and soon planes fly in the air and then this giant monster called the Eye transcends from another universe onto Earth and the Eye zaps the CBM office building with its mystical force and makes the entire building float away into an alternate dimension. Cherry Bomb hears about it from Ellen Page’s own voice and she zooms at lightning speed before the dimensional portal closes.
Here Cherry Bomb wakes up in London 5045 where dinosaurs have returned to Earth. Robin Williams makes an appearance riding a dinosaur and the dinosaur looks like Jason Statham. Then suddenly Chris Evans appears and defeats the dinosaur that looks like Jason Statham with one quick flash of his chest. Robin Williams jumps off and kisses Chris Evans as his charmed worked to a greater length and soon makes out with him. Then the alternate universe is suddenly blank and Cherry Bomb finds herself in a dark corridor like maze. Ellen Page’s voice is heard echoing through the maze. Tiny robots appear and the robots dance. Ellen Page’s ghost appears and then Christopher Walken appears and says, “HOWDY DO!”. Ellen Page’s ghost then kicks Christopher Walken in the nuts and runs off disappearing.
Cherry Bomb suddenly finds herself in a bedroom dressed as Princess Peach and sees Super Mario dressed in a weird gimp outfit. Super Mario then comes close and starts suddenly vomiting out Spaghetti into her mouth. Then he takes of his outfit and finds a bat and screws it. Suddenly the real Princess Peach appears and makes out with Cherry Bomb as she also vomits out Super Mario’s spaghetti leftovers into Princess Peach’s mouth. Then Yoshi enters the room and licks Super Mario’s butt and Super Mario starts to ride Yoshi hard making Yoshi scream. Luigi burst into the room with a fire hydrant and sprays it over then Bowser who shows up out of nowhere behind him takes the fire hydrant and knocks it on Luigi knocking him out. Then Bowser takes off Luigi’s pants and throws it out the window. Cherry Bomb runs to Bowser and kicks him in the nuts causing it fly off into her mouth and then she spits out in Princess Peach’s mouth. Then Princess Peach chokes on Bowser’s nuts and dies. Super Mario stops screwing Yoshi and then Super Mario pulls out this remote and presses a button and an RV appears outside the castle.
Then coming out of the RV is Jesse and Heisenberg who are totally high. Then Shaggy from Scooby-Doo appears running behind them coming out the RV. They enter the castle and run to the kitchen because they got the munchies. Super Mario jumps out the window and expects to land on the RV but lands on the ground and he’s dead. Bowser just drops on floor and he’s dead. Cherry Bomb takes off the Princess Peach outfit then Yoshi runs over and jumps on her licking her all over and then they start to screw around. Luigi remembers he doesn't have pants on and looks down to the biggest hard on he ever had watching them. Then BAM with a loud shazam Heisenberg kicks down the door and pulls out a gun and shoots off Luigi’s wiener. Christopher Walken jumps into the room through the window and shouts, “HOWDY HO!”. Then Ellen Page’s ghost appears and kicks Christopher Walken in the nuts again and runs off. Heisenberg walks over to Cherry Bomb and Yoshi and he touches his hand on Yoshi’s butt feeling it. Christopher Walken still is in so much pain from that hard kick but not to worry as a shirtless Chris Evans walks into the room and heals Christopher Walken. Then Chris Evan touches Yoshi and Yoshi turns into a horse. Cherry Bomb gets out from under the horse pulling out the long horse wiener and hops on top off it. Chris Evans gets on the horse too. “YAH!”, and they jump out the window and ride off out the kingdom.
Suddenly on the dirt road Jason Statham appears on a motorcycle chasing after them. Chris Evans commands Cherry Bomb to smack the horse’s butt and she does so with great speed. The horse then suddenly poops out magical exploding rainbow poop and boom boom boom it drops with great speed and one of them with a POW hit’s Jason Statham causing him to fly off his motorcycle. He lands on his face and he is now faceless. Some angry possessed beavers appear and munch on his nuts. So now Jason Statham gets up from the ground and declares himself, “Mr.Facenutless!”.
Meanwhile on the other side of the strange alternate world, Robin Williams is practicing some strange voodoo in his dungeon of terror with his tribal mask shouting strange obscene threats. He grabs a spear and dances around a barrel of fire in a maddening rage. He then looks to his magic mirror and says, “SHOW ME DA PEOPLE!”. He sees Cherry Bomb and Chris Evans riding a horse going off into the sunset. Oh crap he realizes, the story is almost over! He then calls a totally secret meeting in his underground lair with the evil Dr.Spaghetti and his notorious Secret Eye Community of Many Secrets. Robin Williams dresses in a bear suit and pounds his chest like a Gorilla while the Bruno Mars song Gorilla plays in the background. He walks into the secret meeting room where the group awaits him.
Now Metallica Master of Puppets Pendulum Cover plays as the meeting takes place. Everyone stares each other into the eye and licking their lips with their tongue. One guy just sits there eating his poop while smothering it all over his business suit. Robin Williams dressed in the bear suit flips the table and then suddenly the room goes dark. Dr.Spaghetti calls to his attention the death of the Super Mario characters and how more powerful Cherry Bomb has grew with the spirit of Ellen Page. Robin Williams gets his Nokia flip phone and dials the number for the Kraken. The Kraken then answers the phone angrily in the bathroom. “KRAKEN YOU ARE NOW RELEASED!”, Robin Williams shouts in a weird accent. Then the Kraken says, “AM TAKING A DUMP!”, and then slams off the phone. So Robin Williams says to Dr.Spaghetti, “We need to resurrect the real Ellen Page”. So they like get on the phone with Dr.Fargo in the real universe and he is like so totally happy because he recently took these happy pills. Then Dr.Fargo goes to the destroyed mansion and collect’s Ellen Page’s ashes and brings it back to his lab. He then rebuilds Ellen Page and Ellen Page comes back to life but now in the total control of the evil Dr.Fargo.
Meanwhile Cherry Bomb and Chris Evans stop by a lake. They sit together holding hands on the grass. The birds calmly chirp in the background. Forest animals run amuck in the playful environment. Everything sparkles with such a glee. It feels like something straight of a fairytale. Chris Evans smiles at Cherry Bomb and his teeth sparkles. Suddenly the birds go crazy. The skies grow dark and the lake turns black. Something terrible slowly comes out the lake. Chris Evans grabs Cherry Bomb and pushes her on the ground and spreads his arms out with his bare chest shining and sparkling. The light is then suddenly blocked when a powerful windy force of hell and fire hits him and causes him to fly backwards against a tree breaking his back. Cherry Bomb runs to him as he lays there dying, “Remember me my love.” The powerful force then emerges out of the lake. Jason Statham who became Mr.Facenutless appears! Chris Evans looks to Cherry Bomb and says, “My great sparkling sword of magic remains with me, in my butt.” Cherry Bomb pulls down Chris Evans pants to reveal the hilt of a sword sticking out his butt. She then pulls it out to reveal something greater, the most biggest sword ever as it sparkles. “YOU WILL NEVER DEFEAT ME!”, Mr.Facenutless shouts in terror! Then Mr.Facenutless charges towards Cherry Bomb and Cherry Bomb charges towards him and jumps and swishes the sword directly at his head. Mr.Facenutsless falls on the ground now headless. Cherry Bomb raises the sword in the air and says the words, “FEMALE POWER!”. Lightning strikes the sword and Cherry Bomb is now dressed in a He-Man outfit complete with the fashionable hair but in red and boobs!
Cherry Bomb walks to the horse and points the sword at it causing lightning to strike it. Then the horse suddenly turns into a giant talking banana. Cherry Bomb then hops on the banana and the banana floats off into space and into a blackhole where Cherry Bomb lands back in the real universe. The floating banana then lands at a Starbucks. Cherry Bomb hops off and walks inside. Suddenly the guy behind the counter at Starbucks jumps over with a cup of coffee in his hand and throws it. Cherry Bomb dodges the coffee as it hits a customer causes that customer to melt. Then the guy who was behind the counter transforms into a robot with deadly laser eyes. The robot then explodes causing the whole Starbucks to explode but Cherry Bomb runs out in time. Then the Starship Enterprise suddenly zooms in and hovers over the wreckage and some dude beams down and it’s Spock. Then Spock transforms into Channing Tatum and calls a taxi cab and then off he goes. Then Scotty beams down and runs up to Cherry Bomb and hugs her. Then Scotty grabs her arm and they are both beamed up aboard the Enterprise. Then the Enterprise zooms off and Cherry Bomb starts walking to this room where she meets Patrick Stewart who explains about the moon which is alive which is about to eat the Earth with its powerful jaws and that Earth only has 1 hour left. So Patrick Stewart says like go find Dr.Fargo and stop him because something about a destiny and the fate of the world. Then Cherry Bomb is instantly beamed back down on top the flying banana and the banana swooshes away like a speeding bullet to Dr.Fargo’s lab.
So like meanwhile Robin Williams teleports himself back into the real universe with an army of 300 ninja samurai warrior squirrels driving a bunch of Mini Coopers on a highway towards Dr.Fargo’s lab in the middle of the desert. The Earth is suddenly engulfed by the shadow of the moon which is coming closer. Then Robin Williams and the army of 300 ninja samurai warrior squirrels is stopped in their tracks dead on as Cherry Bomb stands proud in her He-Man outfit with the sparkly sword. So like all 300 of the ninja samurai warrior squirrels steps out of the cars and they like get out their swords and start charging. Cherry Bomb charges towards them and BOOM this big action sequence happens. This entire crazy matrix stuff everywhere these squirrels with swords swooshing and slashing and Cherry Bomb just dodging all these attacks and slashing at those squirrels in half. Then when it was over all these bodies of squirrels in their fancy ninja samurai warrior outfits everywhere and Robin Williams is the last one standing. Like the Moon is now 10 minutes away from devouring the Earth and the Earth starts shaking and stuff. Robin Williams puts on his tribal mask and grabs a spear. He then throws the spear at Cherry Bomb and BAM the spear hits her dead on. So like Cherry Bomb falls and she thinks she is done for. Then suddenly Ellen Page’s spirit is lifted from Cherry Bomb and attacks Robin Williams violently tickling him. Then Robin Williams is just on the ground laughing and suddenly Ellen Page’s spirit is all like, “RAINBOW POWER!”, then a giant rainbow appears in the sky coming down to Earth and hits Robin Williams! Robin Williams eyes light up like a rainbow and his entire body then he blows up and all you see is this rainbow light everywhere and gone.
So like 5 minutes to go and Cherry Bomb passes out. Cherry Bomb soon wakes up in Dr.Fargo’s lab who has tied her to a bed. Then the real Ellen Page appears wearing her outfit from the movie Super and punches her in the face but accidentally sets off the untie thing which sets Cherry Bomb free and then Cherry Bomb is prepared to fight Ellen Page who is under Dr.Fargo’s control. But then Cherry Bomb remembers an important and crucial element in lifting the curse. Ellen Page jumps on Cherry Bomb and is all like about to beat her than Cherry Bomb kisses Ellen Page and makes out with her and BOOM, Ellen Page’s curse was instantly set free! So like they team up and go to find Dr.Fargo and to like stop the moon from devouring the Earth cause there is only like 1 minute left. So they find Dr.Fargo in his private room with his pants down and Dr.Fargo is all like, “WTF!”, because he totally didn’t see that crap coming at all. So Cherry Bomb looks at Ellen Page and they smile. Then they run towards Dr.Fargo and BAM both at the same time kick him in the nuts leaving him powerless!
Then like 30 seconds left and they find the laser and zap it at the moon sending it backwards with a great and mighty swoosh! So the moon is back to normal and the day is supposedly saved. Then Ellen Page’s spirit comes out of Cherry Bomb and merges with her own body and then all these sparkles appear. They walk out the lab and see this RV. Then Jesse Pinkman comes out of the RV and is like, “YEAH BITCHES! YOU SAVED THE WORLD!”. Then suddenly out of nowhere the Starship Enterprise is hurdling towards the Earth and about to crash. Cherry Bomb runs towards Jesse Pinkman as the Starship Enterprise is about to crash into the RV! She grabs him but it’s too late as BOOM it makes a sudden collision blowing it up and everything! Ellen Page is just like what happened. Then Cherry Bomb and Jesse Pinkman is floating in the sky and lands on Earth. Cherry Bomb realizes she still has her superpowers left.
Suddenly out of the Enterprise steps a headless Patrick Stewart with an uzi! He fires the uzi everywhere as they all duck. Jesse Pinkman then reaches in his pocket and grabs his phone and calls a friend of his. Then Heisenberg shows up and BAM hits Patrick Stewart flipping him with his car! Then he steps out and says like, “YOUR GOD DAMN RIGHT I HIT PATRICK STEWART WITH A UZI!”. So then Heisenberg’s car transforms into an RV and they all hop in. Then Heisenberg says to Cherry Bomb, “Let’s cook”.
Then when you thought everything was over, it wasn't as the final scene in the film a couple of guys are walking down the highway. It’s revealed to be Brad Pitt and Morgan Freeman as their characters from the movie Se7en! Also Brad Pitt is carrying a box and seems shaken up. Then they stop at the pile of 300 dead ninja samurai warrior squirrels. Morgan Freeman grabs a sword and shows it to Brad Pitt. Brad Pitt drops the box and also picks up a sword. They start sweating and look at each other. They then both stab themselves with the sword and die. The box opens up and a whole pile of Justin Bieber albums just flood out. Then the RV is coming down the highway and stops at them. Cherry Bomb hops out and picks up a Justin Bieber album. Heisenberg looks at it and smiles, “Our new target, for your training has come a long way Cherry Bomb. Now let’s continue our cook.” They both walk back to the RV and driving off. Then quick fade to black.
Then when you really thought it was over, it wasn't! Robin Williams wakes up in a dark room unhurt. He walks out the room and he is on a stage in an empty comedy club. Then out of nowhere Spock disguised as Channing Tatum beams in and shoots Robin Williams with a ray gun knocking him out. Then he transforms back to Spock and Scotty beams in and they both grab Robin Williams and they beam to their new rental ship. Then onboard the ship Robin Williams wakes up and starts doing these weird actors impressions. Then Spock smacks him in the face and downs him with alien piss. So Scotty says like, “Meet our leader!”, then Robin Williams starts walking to his room. Some guy sitting on a chair turned around is like, “Hello again Mr.Williams”, then the chair spins around and BAM it’s revealed to be Jason Statham who was Mr.Facenutless who now is Mr.Faceheadnutless! Then quick fade to black.
Okay you think it’s over, BUT IT’S STILL NOT! Outside on the same desert highway a few scenes ago one random dude is walking down it. He stops and he has this CD Walkman. So he like takes out the CD playing and throws it on the ground then smashes it. “God damn this stupid music”, he says. Then it’s revealed to be, Christopher Walken! He continues walking down until he gets to the pile of the 300 dead ninja samurai warrior squirrels and Brad Pitt and Morgan Freeman. He looks down on the ground and sees a Justin Bieber CD. “Well who is this fellow and what is his music like”, he says. Then he takes out a CD and pops it in. Then the music starts blaring in his ears and Christopher Walken starts screaming like a madman and then running walk everywhere! Then he trips and falls and right where he is falling is a mini cactus that lands on his nuts and BAM! Then quick fade to black.
Nope still not over. So the RV with Cherry Bomb, Heisenberg, Ellen Page, and Jesse Pinkman stops at a club. They walk inside and are seated at a table. Then a waitress appears and to take their order. They all order a hamburger. Then Christopher Walken walks into the bar and sits with them. They all stare at each other awkwardly. Then Jacky walks into the bar also and sits with them too. Jacky looks to them and says, “I have an idea which involves all of you”. He smiles. Then quick fade to black.
Uh still totally not over yet. In the alternate universe Chris Evans wakes up to realize he is still alive. He starts walking along a yellow brick road until he reaches a barn. He runs inside the barn and suddenly all these black and white horses greet him with many licks and spits. Then this one majestic horse with the voice of David Hasselhoff says, "Let me see the chosen one". All the other horses back off and this majestic horse comes into view. A horse like none other. Painted in the majestic colors of red, white and blue. "My name is Rosenbell, chosen one". Rosenbell lets out a cheerful smile at Chris Evans. "You must ride me my new master", Rosenbell speaks out. Chris Evans gracefully hops on the horse and as he does all his clothes magically disappear. Rosenbell gracefully rides out the barn and onto the magical yellow brick road as it sparkles with a glimmer of sunshine and light. They stop by a small pond with a golden sparkle. "You must bath in the pond of my pee Chris Evans", Rosenbell says to him. Chris Evans dives in and soaks in the pond of Rosenbell's glorious pee. Then suddenly Chris Evans comes out the pond floating, his body sparkles. His wiener tingles with glorious joy. Rosenbell grabs him by his balls from the air with his glorious mouth and places him gently back on the firm ground. Then Rosenbell floats up and places his butt on Chris Evans head. Then majestically poops on him. "My magically poop, you must eat it to survive", Rosenbell speaks as he gently comes down to the ground. Chris Evans did as he takes the poop from his head and stuffs it gracefully in his mouth. "I must also eat your poop Chris Evans", and so it happens. The glorious festival of poop gracefully between the new found friends. Rosenbell and Chris Evans.
Suddenly moments later the skies grow dark. "Hurry Chris Evans I sense evil!", Rosenbell speaks in a tone only David Hasselhoff can say! Chris Evans rides Rosenbell as they trolley along the yellow brick road then Rosenbell leaps into the air and they are suddenly sucked into a wormhole. Where they land in our universe in the city of Detroit. "Where are we?", Chris Evans asks as he doesn't know the answer. The scenery is a beautiful empty park. They are on a grey path. Rosenbell continues to trolley along as they come across a bench and a stranger. The stranger on the bench looks up to them,"Hi my name is Pasto, got any spare change?". Then Rosenbell pukes out one million dollars. Pasto stands up in glorious amazement. "Sir, Mr.Chris Evans, YOUR HORSE IS A WINNER!". Rosenbell cheerfully licks Pasto's face all over, "My name is Rosenbell, and I am a magical horse". "Welcome to Detroit Rosenbell and Chris Evans", Pasto says with a glorious smile. Then bombs explode somewhere. "Hurry let's see what's going on!", Pasto says. They start running out of the park towards a fence. A war brews in Detroit. A voice on a speaker phone blares suddenly, "MAYOR GUSTO SAYS STAY CALM! MAYOR GUSTO SAYS GO BACK TO YOUR HOMES!". Then these people dressed in banana outfits with machine guns run among the streets. This man holds a sign and runs around crazily. Buildings explode and people are wearing these weird tribal masks. Miley Cyrus music constantly plays over the violence and terror. "Rosenbell and Chris Evans, we must save Detroit. and overthrow Mayor Gusto!", Pasto says. Suddenly an RV whips up behind them. Rosenbell, Chris Evans, and Pasto looks as a group of more soon to be heroes steps out the RV. Cherry Bomb, Heisenberg, Ellen Page, Jesse Pinkman, Christopher Walken, and Jacky step out the RV and then they all run up and do a power rangers style pose! Then suddenly in the sky, the New Starship Enterprise appears! It crashes down into Detroit! Mr.Faceheadnutless and Robin Williams wearing a tribal mask steps out of the Starship Enterprise! Then Cherry Bomb is all like, "IT'S TIME TO KICKASS!". Then quick fade to black.
Then the Korn song Coming Undone plays as the end credits roll.
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Is there going to be a sequel? I don't f***ing know at all. CHERRY BOMB'ED 2: The Battle of Detroit? You really want me to do a sequel to this sh*t? *grabs coffee* damn it man, come on just leave me alone. OH GOSH MAN OKAY OKAY PUT IT AWAY DON'T HURT ME! Alright damn it I'll do a f***ing sequel! Wait, my mind is in dark places? Am a total psycho? Oh yeah man am totally crazy out of my mind. You know this sh*t ain't satire but it's me losing my GOD DAMN MIND! Don't you know it people I've gone of the damn deep end! Yall people say this n that and YAH DON'T KNOW ME! *pops in American Psycho DVD* now excuse me while I put my mind at more practice. UGH YEAH KICK IT BACK! Um UGH YEAH now let me get my coffee. *grabs coffee* *sips* UGH YEAH now let me um. You know what why the f**k am I still writing this anyway? I've kept you long enough here in the journey of whatever my mind spews out. If your reading this far. Hell you probably decked out first paragraph in. Comment and don't give a crap to read the rest. You know how much time I put in this stuff give me a break I bet you wouldn't put much time in doing this. That's why they call me MR.GLASS! *flips coin in Unbreakable quote jar* god damn it Jacky....Anyways stay safe folks. And make sure not to give any hobos money at all, cause they will ask yah for more and eventually you could get robbed outta yah pockets, learned it the hard way. Shit the damn economy is weird today. SO WEIRD! Anyways I guess I should make any apologies if I offended any certain group of people in the plot above. My sincere apologizes and condolences. Yes, psychopaths like me do have a heart. I often can contain myself but when I do it's often when am high on a feeling. No not really high, not literally high. No I don't do drugs and don't take drugs people okay it's bad mmmmmm'kay? So yeah I will also like to thank the Academy for giving me this award...woohoo! *coughs* Seriously am done here. AM DONE! I will like to announce my, personal retirement from CBM....LOL HAHAHAAHAHA! Gotcha! This bird ain't croaking till the bird that makes em croak sing does like the crap on the wire that gives yah the chills! Yeah, peace out. damn it I know am gonna have a long day tomorrow.....