Plot (Cause it needs a friggin plot of course!):
Indiana Jones decides to take his family on an unexpected but exciting trip to Universal Studios! The first ride they decide to happen upon is Back To The Future: The Ride! They are led to The Delorean in by minimum wage park tour guide Short Round on an exciting time bending experience, they will soon find out they will experience it for real! As they hop in The Delorean the machine suddenly spurts out a great ball of light and travels at a great gazillion speed of light on the tracks and a great cloud of smoke and a bang! They find themselves onboard the infamous spaceship The Nostromo from those Alien movies! Out of the trunk of The Delorean Marty McFly and Doc Brown climb out while a great Scott is heard in the air! Indiana Jones and his family, Short Round, Marty McFly and Doc Brown soon meet up with the totally hot Ellen Ripley who tells them she is the only survivor aboard the ship and there is a bunch of badass aliens onboard waiting to tear em up! So Indy pulls out his giant whip and get ready to rumble as the stage is set for the greatest cinematic battle in history! Suck it Hollywood I made a better plot than most of your lousy blockbusters!
NOW....*DRUM ROLL*.....THE CAST....*DING!*.... (What everyone is here for of course!):
Liam Hemsworth as INDIANA JONES
Well duh it's Liam Hemsworth! Don't question my logic, he will make an excellent Indiana Jones!
Nicolas Cage as Professor Henry Jones
Well we need an actor of excellent class and character and a master of terriyfing faces beyond horror! Okay look people picture this, Nicolas Cage vs Aliens. Okay are you sold now?
Katy Perry as Harley Jones
Indiana Jones needs a hot wife that can also sing because this movie totally needs random musical numbers and babyyy yourrr a firreeeworkkk wait what just happened oh well!
Ty Simpkins as Indiana Jones Jr
Just be happy I didn't cast Jaden Smith.
Kevin Hart as Short Round
Well of course we need the comedic guy in here the guy that is that is named Short Round of course and who better to play him than a short guy himself Kevin Hart who is also painfully funny and does the same exact role in every goddamn movie he is in!
Mark Wahlberg as Marty McFly
He's hip, he's fly! He is Mark Wahlberg people come on the man of emotions the one guy who can sing a duet with Katy Perry in this movie and still look so fly! Okay I'll stop with the fly puns but hold on to your butts for this next stunner!
Samuel L Jackson as Doc Brown
Still held on to your butt? Woooh (if you got that reference give yahself a pat on the back!). Samuel L Jackson needs to be Doc Brown and he needs to say alot of swear words. Imagine a Doc Brown infused Pulp Fiction style. "SAY GREAT SCOTT AGAIN!". See there. Now on to the final bit and you might wanna hold onto more than your butts for this one....
Sasha Grey as Ellen Ripley
"GOLD JERRY, GOLD!", no am serious this is gold. This is the best casting in the entire movie this is the requim of casting this is the opus of all casting this is it people!
NOW ARE YOU GONNA BUY A TICKET FOR THIS CRAP OR NOT?
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