Hello CBMers!!!
This is a short funny sketch, where some of Marvel's biggest names gather to discuss a new outfit for Hulk.
Inside Avengers Tower, the boardroom. Captain America, Spiderman, and Hulk are seated near each other at one end of the large table. Iron Man all the suddenly walks in with a loud slam and makes his way to the head chair, next to wear the other heroes have gathered.
IRON MAN:
Ok guys. I want to make this meeting short, so I'm just going to come out with to day's issue. You see...we...uhh...The Avengers have an amazingly large profile and presence in today's world. Astronomical "Q Rating". And as such, my finance department tells me we're dropping the ball with you Hulk. Yes...you. You see, they think you could use an outfit or uniform, something with a logo. Something...you see...that would be highly marketable and profitable. So, Stark Industries is designing an out fit for you that won't tear when you become...well, you know...when you get angry. We just need an appropriate design guys.
SPIDERMAN:
Tony I want you to know...I just got back from fighting a large robotic Rhino. I am little tired.
IRON MAN:
Large robotic Rhino?!? Why that's...
SPIDERMAN:
Yeah, yeah, I know. I've heard it all. Now with Hulk here...I say...we make it a purple shirt, to go with the purple pants. And we put a neon green letter "H" on the chest. The "H" should be encased in an upside down triangle.
IRON MAN:
Hey, I like that. It's simple yet immediately recognizable. Feels somewhat familiar, but I know it would be unique, right? All that purple and just the letter "H".
The door to the board room slides open and Hawkeye peeks inside.
HAWKEYE:
Appears surprised. Makes a brief waving motion. Oh...sorry...sorry guys. Forgot about your little meeting.
Lowers voice as he exits. Just have to find somewhere else to sleep...
CAPTAIN AMERICA:
Did he just...no. Certainly Hawkeye wouldn't talk about napping, he's on duty.
IRON MAN:
In any regards, there goes the purple and "H" design. Dammit Hawkeye. He really does suck, huh?
SPIDERMAN:
Ok...how about...a jacket!! Something like a Michael Jackson one, but purple with a lot of zippers.
HULK:
Hulk say no zippers!! Hulk has bad things happen when zipper involved.
CAPTAIN AMERICA:
Points excitingly in Hulk's direction. No, you guys are making it more difficult than it has any right to be. I know exactly what he should wear. Simple and poignant. Just two words: American Flag.
IRON MAN:
I don't know Steve...besides, isn't that sort of...you know...your thing?
CAPTAIN AMERICA:
Think about it though Tony. Who's a more fitting representation of America than Hulk? I mean; he's incredibly strong, somewhat dimwitted, and hes always talking about "Game of Thrones". 'Murica.
HULK:
Puzzled expression. Wow Steve...Hulk don' know weather be angrier or laughing?
SPIDERMAN:
Plus, that feels kinda of like a...um...lazy idea.
IRON MAN:
If I might suggest one thing Hulk. There's this new fantastic clothing company named "I'm Not There" and they make a shirt that would make you still bare chest, but with a label. It has a collar, sleeves, and back; it's like a shirt with a large hole in front. I think it would be wonderfully ironic Hulk.
HULK:
Scratches head. You? ...you wan' Hulk be hipster?
CAPTAIN AMERICA:
Tony! What the hell is wrong with you! This is an awful idea!
SPIDERMAN:
Actually...I kind of like it.
HULK:
No!! Hulk no like dis!!! Hulk have idea. Hulk want to just wear gangster pinstripe suit and look like Ruffalo.
IRON MAN:
Umm..
SPIDERMAN:
I don't...
CAPTAIN AMERICA:
Seems kind of...
Hulk raises his hand in a fist and then brings it down swiftly, smashing the large table before them.
SPIDERMAN:
Who am I say to anything...terrific idea Hulk. You guys hear that? Aw man, sounds like someone playing the "Itsy Bitsy Spider" song, got to go!
Spiderman opens the window and swings away.
CAPTAIN AMERICA:
Exactly! Ole web head is correct! Sounds perfect. Do you guys also hear that? Sounds like a large group shouting "Hail Hydra" in unison. I better go.
Captain America jumps to his feet and holds his shield up. He then runs toward the walls crashing through it, he makes a path through multiple walls on his way to the elevator. Hulk and Iron Man stare at each other.
IRON MAN:
Would you consider a different color? Blue, perhaps?
HULK:
RARGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Alright, that's the end. Thank you, everyone that read. Hopefully you got a chuckle. Be sure to hit that approving red glove. Thanks guys.