Ok to start off, I DO NOT think Iron Man should be running round like Wolverine and Punisher slicing/blowing people's heads off. Or that the film should be M-rated with gore and violence.
I'm just looking a the point that this sequel to the Iron Man movie is being highly merchandised and promoted to the younger generation. More so than the previous film. Things like the 'Demon in a Bottle' storyline have already fallen by the way side. Iron Man 2 writer Justin Theroux commented that "A thirteen year old kid does not want to see drunken Tony." and that's why they used the illness instead.
In regards to the violence, the first Iron Man movie and The Incredible Hulk in my opinion got the balance right with a mix non-gore violence and off screen deaths that was suggestive enough but not over-exposed in a way that would threaten the films ratings.
As noted depicting action scenes with watered down violence (eg no blood splatter or people getting ripped apart) with more serious violence taken place off-screen allows filmmakers to present this movies to a younger audience. However, aiming this movie at pre-teens yet still upping the ante in on-screen and visible action without causing a stir in anti-violence protests is a very hard task which has plagued TV/Film makers for years
There are few other ways to side-step the violence issue and i will list the ones i know about:
No one dies: The A-Team route where pretty much everybody lives though they maybe a little shaken up. This is obviously end up a little too silly and im sure no one her wants that. They used this during many action scenes in Ang Lee's HULK; note Hulk shaking people out of the turrets before throwing the tanks in the desert. ... im pretty sure Marvel wouldn't do that to us.

Not effected by weapons: Basically where violent actions can be used but shown to have no effect.. think regenerative aliens, T-1000 style robots or even Logan.
and the more widely used
Dehumanizing the enemy: This is used a lot especially in cartoons. Where as long as the enemy is perceived to be less than (or far away enough from) human then destroying (not noted as killing) them is acceptable. acceptable enemies include:
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Robots: The most popular and the way Iron Man 2 is going. Robots are great game for action like this because you can have as much gore as you like.. you just replace blood with oil and guts with internal mechanisms
a very good representation of this is of course Samurai Jack
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Aliens: As long as they are very different looking to humans then its fine.. example would be tentacle like aliens where heroes are free to blowup/shoot/slash away at them at will but however, anything that looks remotely human is subject to restrictions.
These last three hold more restrictions
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Monsters: mythical beasts to horror icons (i.e. Zombies), even though they are fair game they will still be restricted on how much violence can be shown against them. Camera angles and cuts would be used much like the previous Marvel Films so Thor should be fine. However, more vivid depictions of him using his Hammer to bludgeon foes is gonna fall by the way side.
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Clones: cannon fodder as ever but again being too human means no visualized gore would be acceptable.
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Nazis: There evil so Captain America should be ok for cannon fodder too.. but as ever no visualized gore would be acceptable. Shame really because "Saving Private Ryan + Steve Rogers = Awesome"
Kinda makes you wonder whether the idea of Ultimate style Skrull's "Chitauri" could in fact be a more acceptable choice by film makers. Followed by a sequel with Ultron's robot armies.
Back to Iron Man 2, Whiplash is (quite rightly) the focus of much of the un-sidestepped violence. We know for a fact he kills the Hammer security that guard him and leave them hanging, and i would hope that he does use the whips to kill people either off-screen.
I'm hoping that Iron Man 2 and the subsequent Marvel Studio's movies follow in the foot steps of the first two but i can help getting the nagging feeling that the more popular they become the more producers will want to market to younger audiences and the more diluted in child friendliness the will become.
Now commence ripping this article to shreds in the comments box ;)