Depending on where you live, Morbius is either already playing in theaters or mere hours away from hitting the big screen. By now, you'll have read our review, and will be all too aware that the movie isn't great. Ultimately, it's up to you to make your own mind up about it, but if you're at all curious about what to expect, then we have you covered.
In this feature, we're taking a spoiler-free dive into what did and didn't work in Morbius, including some baffling creative decisions and even technical elements like the visual effects.
Of course, while there's a lot about this blockbuster that fails to hit the mark, it's not all bad (just mostly), and we do highlight some of the things you can look forward to if you choose to watch the movie. Just be aware that the positives are few are far between in the Living Vampire's big screen debut.
To take a look through this breakdown of what did and didn't work, click the "Next" button below!
Didn't Work: The Visual Effects
While there are some cool visuals in Morbius, the biggest issue in terms of effects is the motion capture used to bring the Living Vampire to life. Instead of using prosthetics or makeup, mo-cap is utilised in order for Jared Leto and Matt Smith to jump instantly in and out of vampire mode.
It's a novel concept, but not one the movie manages to pull off.
Milo looks every bit the generic vampire, and it's almost as if he's wearing one of those TikTok or Instagram filters over his face because he never looks quite right. As for Leto, when he does finally transform into a vampire, it only looks okay. The actor's performance still manages to shine through, but Thanos he ain't, and we don't think Sony were quite ready to head down this mo-cap route.
Didn't Work: Post-Credit Scene Nonsense
As much as we'd love to take this opportunity to tear into Morbius' awful post-credits scenes, we're going to stick to our promise not to drop any spoilers in this feature!
Without getting into specifics, neither one of them makes any sense and it's obvious they were both a result of reshoots. This is understable after the events of Spider-Man: No Way Home, of course, but it's as if absolutely no logical thought went into these stingers. They're dumb and nonsensical, teasing something comic book fans definitely don't want to see happen down the line.
The fact that Sony doesn't understand this says a lot about why this Marvel Universe isn't working, and if they're teasing what we think they are, it's probably going to be a complete and utter disaster.
Did Work: Jared Leto's Living Vampire
We know some of you aren't the biggest fans of Jared Leto, but despite making some questionable decisions (and delivering some, let's say, strange performances these past few years), he is a talented actor. With that in mind, we're pleased to report that he's mostly a highlight in Morbius.
This is, admittedly, not saying a lot in such a bad movie, but it really does feel like Leto is giving it his all here. Whether it's as the terminally ill Michael Morbius or the powerful Living Vampire, the Oscar-winner really taps into this character in order to deliver some compelling work from start to finish.
It's by no means a career-best performance, but you can tell Leto wanted to do Morbius justice. We just wish he had a better movie to showcase his talents, though it would have been nice to see the actor get a little weirder following his transformation into a bloodsucking vampire.
Didn't Work: The "Venomverse"
As you might expect, Morbius is set in Sony's Marvel Universe (we might as well call it the "Venomverse"), but the references here are heavy-handed and really don't work.
We're not spoiling anything here as it's in the trailers, but Morbius coming out with lines like, "I am Venom" is beyond cringe-worthy, as is the FBI nattering about something happening in San Francisco. Why the ambiguity if the Living Vampire is going to steal the alien's catchphrase later?
This isn't the right way to build a shared universe, and shows a lack of understanding on Sony's part. The Daily Bugle makes an obligatory appearance, of course, but what's the point at this stage? Like, we get it, Peter Parker works there in the comics...he doesn't in this world, though!
Didn't Work: Everything About Matt Smith's Villain
Some critics have praised Matt Smith's wacky performance, but Good Lord, it's nothing but awful. The Doctor Who alum is given a lot of terrible material to work with, in fairness, but his work here is embarrassing and it's clear between this and Terminator Genisys that he's not cut out for blockbusters.
Whether he's stinking up the joint as this villainous vampire or dancing around admiring himself in the mirror, Smith appears to be having fun...but he's probably the only one.
It really doesn't help that the character he's playing is so paper-thin, but there are really no redeeming qualities when it comes to his performance. While we're sure Smith has a legion of fans after playing the Doctor, it's hard to walk away from Morbius with any other conclusion than he's a bad actor.
Did Work: Some Admittedly Cool Action Scenes
As bad as Morbius may be, at least director Daniel Espinosa delivers some cool action scenes. The way the Living Vampire tears through the mercenaries on that ship is a blast, while the colourful effects that surround him, while nonsensical, definitely help the anti-hero jump off the screen.
The final battle is quite the spectacle, and we just wish there had been a little more of that.
Instead, we're left waiting too long for Michael to undergo this transformation, and he could have done with getting to grips with his powers much sooner. Yes, this is an origin story, but it's baffling that the second half of this blockbuster devotes more time to Milo's story than it does its lead. We're not sure what the thinking was behind this, but at least the fight scenes will mostly entertain.
Didn't Work: An Incoherent Story
Considering a huge number of scenes from the trailers aren't in the movie, it's obvious that some huge changes were made to Morbius at some point. We're not sure if those were partly responsible for the constant delays, but a different version of this blockbuster definitely exists somewhere.
As a result of these apparent sweeping changes to what we see on screen, the story ends up making little sense. Milo's villainous turn comes out of nowhere, and there are several plot beats that feel like they were thrown in last minute to appease test audiences who didn't enjoy their experience.
Even putting that aside, it's a dumb, mostly simple story of Michael's transformation into a Living Vampire. However, when the ending ignores a major plot thread, you know something went wrong.
Didn't Work: A Bloodless Vampire Movie
We appreciate that a PG-13 rating results in certain restrictions, but this is the tamest vampire movie we've ever seen. With some noteworthy moments of violence, it's a little comical that blood is rarely seen, which results in this Living Vampire feeling like a rather toothless beast.
Like the Venom franchise, Morbius would probably work better with an R-Rating. That's wishful thinking in some ways, and we fully understand Sony wanting to make sure a blockbuster like this is seen by as many comic book fans as possible. It would have just been nice to see them at least try to push the boundaries here, even if it was with implied violence similar to The Batman.
Morbius simply never feels like much of a threat. Blade would eat this loser alive...