My first experience with Guyver 2 can only be described as spiritual. Indeed this movie is proof that Jesus loves me. This movie came out when I was fourteen years old and I was so enraptured with it that I watched at least 10 times in a row. Somewhere about 5th or 6th time of re-watching this movie my little 5 year old sister with my father’s girlfriend’s 5 year old daughter came in to my room and started watching the movie with me. Naturally they left the room in tears when the Guyver blew out the eyes and sliced open the throat of the mutant kitty cat/rhino. I was severely reprimanded by my father for “allowing” them to watch the movie, but I really didn’t hear a word he said because I was replaying the movie in my head and salivating like a dog to watch it again. Don’t you get it!? That’s how awesome this movie is, it actually elevated me to transcendent heights, carried me on the wings of an eagle, and put me far above the present circumstances. So I recommend that you watch this movie on Youtube free in 10 parts… it might just lift you out of your otherwise mundane life.
Now for the cynics, skeptics, and dissenters alike, let’s go into the anatomy of this movie and see what makes it so great! First of all we David Hayter playing the lead role of Sean Barker/ Guyver. For those of you who have drank your way past blackout, straight into down syndrome, and have no clue who Mr. Hayter is, I’ll have you know that he is the darling of gamers and comic book movie fanboys for his voicing of Snake in Metal Gear Solid and his script writing of X-men I-II. Second the plot is actually excellent! Sean is drawn to an archeological dig somewhere in Utah because the cave paintings at this dig are the same exact ones that the Guyver unit transmits to his subconscious in his dreams. Sean gets to the dig and finds that The Cronos Corporation and it’s Zoanoids are funding it because they believe an alien ship is there with a boat load of celestial weapons. The ship is found, the guyver and the zoanoids are exposed, somehow the U.S. government gets involved, and lots of gory sci-fi mayhem ensues. Third we have the fight choreography. Five years before the Matrix bedazzled us with slow motion, fast paced, high octane fight sequences there was Guyver 2. The intricate, ridiculously improbable, and at times, down right nonsensical kung fu fight scenes in this movie are thoroughly mesmerizing…especially to a young, socially awkward, impressionable mind. Fourth we have the score of Les Claypool III…no not the illegitimate son of Les Claypool from the band Primus who was conceived in the womb of a groupie late one night after a show, but rather an unrelated individual who I believe stands on his own merits. I do not know if the movie would be as hypnotic as it was without his score. Yeah sure it sounds like he composed the whole thing on a dollar store Casio, but if you can look past that you’ll see a heavy ethereal Tangerine Dream influence that at times seems to give the movie a Terminator 2 style depth and attitude. Lastly there is well placed gore and lots of it…nuff said!
Now, there are some flaws. I did say that the plot was excellent, but I didn’t say that the execution of it was. The extras at the archeological dig are supposed to be budding scientists but they all look like burned out losers who got tuberculosis at an Occupy Wall street romp. Kathy Christopherson, the leading lady, should’ve been told to shut up and look pretty because she ruins the movie just about every time her mouth opens. And the zoanoids shouldn’t have been allowed to laugh pointlessly like evil mad scientists….I counted at least four time that this happened. If you can get past the poor dialogue there is a diamond of a movie to be mined here.
So in conclusion I think that this is the best B-movie ever made and I will personally be petitioning David Hayter to make a third. I give 5 out of 6 empty bottles