This is a fan script i wrote over the summer. its a simple opening scene and has nothing to do with the Merc With a Mouth story arc in the comics, its just a Title I like. If anyone likes it i will write more...
Merc With A Mouth
Scene 1
Ext. Hydra base on a secluded Island
Deadpool is engaged in a battle with Members of Hydra, The members of Hydra are shooting away at Deadpool, but he is dodging each shot
HYDRA Member 1: All hail HYDRA!!!
Deadpool: Shut up, i get it your a mass murdering cult! I would join you, but i sword have this issue with unorganized religion.
The Merc with a mouth turns grabs the HYDRA member and throws him to the ground.
HYDRA Member 2:Cut of the Head and two more grow in its place!!!
Deadpool: Oooh lets see if that is true!
Deadpool pulls out two swords
Deadpool: I love these things.
Wade takes of the HYDRA members head, and stands there for a second
Deadpool: Aww man really? Cause i was hoping to see a two headed demon beast, all I get is this crappy flow of blood! What a rip off!
He begins deflecting bullets, and subsequently chopping the members of Hydras limbs and heads off.
Finally he gets to the final Hydra memeber, who is scared out of his mind and can not move. Deadpool walks up to him and takes out a pistol.
Deadpool: Alright snake head guy... Wait whats your name?
HYDRA member three: Bob...
Deadpool: Ok I think I can work with that, let me start again.
Deadpool puts his gun back in its holster and and pulls it back out
Deadpool: Alright Bob! Who is in charge of this base.
Bob: I cannot tell you that.
Deadpool: come on Bob, you can trust me, we've been through so much together, remember the time i killed your teammates and asked you your name?
Bob: That was two minutes ago.
Deadpool: Good times. Goooood Times.
Frame Freezes:
Deadpool Voiceover: Howdy folks, your good friend Deadpool here to welcome you to my movie! i know what your thinking, why didn't we do an origin story for the opening? Well that's because those openings are usually boring, I like to add some pizzaz to the shit I do. Oh like this part watch! And if you look carefully enough you might see Hugh Jackman in the background.
Unfreeze frame
Deadpool: I really [frick]ing need the whereabouts of the leader of this base! Tell me now, and I won't pull this trigger and see the fun parts of your brain splatter all over the wall.
Bob: Ok, Ok I will help you
Yellow words pop up with an arrow pointing to something barely visible in the background the words read "HUGH JACKMAN IS HERE!"
Deadpool: Ok, Just to let you know, this is gonna hurt you more then its gonna hurt me. Thats kind of funny, cause nothing hurts me HAHA
Bob: No wait, I said I would help you!
Deadpool: Oh sorry, I guess I just got a little carried away for a second. It happens. Now Bobby boy, Take me to your leader! Hehe, I've always wanted to say that.
Marvel Entertainment Presents shows up in the lower left corner. Deadpool notices this
Deadpool: Oh is it opening credits time, awesome! Lets do this.
Bob: What?
Deadpool smacks Bob in the back of the head.