100 things I learned from watching the Smallville Series Finale

100 things I learned from watching the Smallville Series Finale

While watching the smallville season finale I seen a lot of "learnings" and just knew I had to start up a list. It's not exactly a hundred, but it's enough to get a nice list going.

Editorial Opinion
By JonnyPenn - May 16, 2011 09:05 PM EST
Filed Under: Smallville

While watching the smallville season finale I seen a lot of "learnings" and just knew I had to start up a list. It's not exactly a hundred, but it's enough to get a nice list going.




1- The secret service will never properly check your ID before boarding airforce1
2- leftover costumes from the set of superman returns keeps you within budget
3- Having two dads does not mean two sets of Christmas gifts
4- The CW network equips their special effects artist with MSpaint
5- Make sure your girlfriend see's your fancy new suit before saving the world
6- Dont invite fellow heroes to your wedding. You apparently have other friends
7- Always leave an empty seat next to your mom for her dead husband.
9- It is possible to knock somebody out with copy toner.
10- Darkseid is a great open heart transplant surgeon.
11- Flashbacks and montages are not only for 80's movies
12- Chloe does not need an escort
13- Bruce willis and his oil drilling team are never around when you need them
14- Always kill somebody with a ninja dagger because it looks bad ass.
15- US military will give superheros five mins, dont worry about the korean army
16- The president is tall
17- Lois Lane never uses her seatbelt on airplanes.
18- The biggest challenge in your life will also be your easiest
19- It is not necessary to take the day off from work on your wedding day
20- Ghost never dress up for weddings
21- Tom welling does not age.
22- The American public will elect a man president that has no memory
23- let the man who admits to planning on being a dick to you in the future live
24- Clark kent has great handwriting.
25- If you dont attend your daughter's wedding, it's cuz your called in for duty
26- When preparing to battle a bad guy, bring memory erasing cream. not a gun
27- Lex luthor wears a bald cap
28- Younger brothers will grow up to look exactly like the dead older brothers.
29- Superman will publish his identity and life story in a comic book.
30- Darkseid will knock some sense into you
31- Itunes charges more for an "Extended episode" to see extra credits scroll
32- Chloe will not take her billionaire husband's last name after marriage.
33- Bryan Singer loved the first hour of this episode and hated the last 15mins
34- CW will waste tons of money on horrible CGI, but not a dollar for a bottle of gel to give superman the "S curl"

Lets keep it going in the comments

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LP4
LP4 - 5/16/2011, 10:58 PM
Hahahaha loved that line- "Bryan Singer loved the first hour of this episode" yeah exactly- because it was BORING. the first hour was an extreme waste and was boring. Only the 2nd half really started to pick up with Darkseid, Lex, Tess and Lionel stuff going on then of course- Superman :D

DetectiveCinema
DetectiveCinema - 5/17/2011, 4:25 AM
'I heard that their periods attract bears, the bears can smell the menstruation'
JonnyPenn
JonnyPenn - 5/17/2011, 5:17 AM
39- The brides ex boyfriend will always ruin your wedding
HaroldOfGalactus
HaroldOfGalactus - 5/17/2011, 5:46 AM
40. A normal human radio broadcaster under Darkseid's influence can be turned into black vapor by being shot with an arrow.

41. If the maid of honor freaks out, knocks the ring out of the best man's hand, and the groom says to get out, people up and leave without questioning what in the hell is going on.

42. Lex Luthor, even after he has died, can make clones to regrow different parts of his body and every major organ except for a heart, and apparently a right hand.

43. No-one ever goes up to the roof to try and see Superman in action, or else they would find a pair of glasses and a crumpled suit laying there.
mastarockafella
mastarockafella - 5/17/2011, 7:09 AM
My favorite:
22- The American public will elect a man president that has no memory
29- Superman will publish his identity and life story in a comic book.

My addition:
44. Tome Welling superman is more powerful lifting a whole planet and putting it on earth's orbit in a matter of seconds than Routh's lifting a continent.
45. Darkseid is easier to beat than Zod.
AlexdoxA
AlexdoxA - 5/17/2011, 8:28 AM
46. Haters will watch anything that they know will give them solid arguments
Tenaciousbt
Tenaciousbt - 5/17/2011, 9:00 AM
AWESOMELY HILARIOUS!
Tenaciousbt
Tenaciousbt - 5/17/2011, 9:02 AM
47. Superman apparently has a new power, "dead vision".
Tenaciousbt
Tenaciousbt - 5/17/2011, 9:09 AM
48. If you are going to marry someone you work with and have a secret identity, remember to pretend you don't know your own fiancé, and that you can't call her by her first name.
Tenaciousbt
Tenaciousbt - 5/17/2011, 9:13 AM
49. If you have a big Superman emblem beneath your "white" shirt, don't worry. Even though everyone can see the semble right through your shirt, no one will know you are Superman.

Tenaciousbt
Tenaciousbt - 5/17/2011, 9:15 AM
50. Gold kryptonite makes a really cool looking ring, and Oliver Queen's hand is made of Lead.
mbomb22
mbomb22 - 5/17/2011, 9:19 AM
51. writers always assume that after 10 years, the fans will be happy with a far off full body cgi shot and a close up of the cape
Tenaciousbt
Tenaciousbt - 5/17/2011, 9:22 AM
Mbomb22,

You can edit your comment. It would have been faster than making a second comment. Just FYI :)
TheLight
TheLight - 5/17/2011, 10:06 AM
62. Just because you're dad's been dead for 6 years doesn't mean he won't check on you.
63. Lex can heal from anything except from a damaged right hand.
64. The Superman costume made 1 appearance, at the very end as a shirt under a shirt.
65. The yellow "S" was as fake as Darkseid.
JonnyPenn
JonnyPenn - 5/17/2011, 10:27 AM
thanks for all the comments guys. Ive been on this site for a while now but this has been my first article
UltimaRex
UltimaRex - 5/17/2011, 10:52 AM
66. Tom Welling made over $30 MILLION DOLLARS out of Smallville over it's ten year run.
mbomb22
mbomb22 - 5/17/2011, 11:38 AM
@tenaciousbt-thanks for reminding me, i forgot i could do that
mbomb22
mbomb22 - 5/17/2011, 11:42 AM
67. besides LEEE's pics that he always likes to post, we still dont really know how Tom Welling REALLY looks in the Superman suit
JonnyPenn
JonnyPenn - 5/17/2011, 11:50 AM
68- I have never hated a show so much... but made damn sure that I seen every episode.
lastsun
lastsun - 5/17/2011, 12:37 PM
69. (in respect to the number 69)

Jor-EL teaches wisdom and how to use powers on Earth as well as how to BONE your earthly girlfriend without destroying her in the process.. (<---this was true)
Wallymandius88
Wallymandius88 - 5/17/2011, 1:29 PM
70. Darkseid is actually Darth Vader's brother, you could tell when he did the force choke hold on Clark.

71. Which makes Apokalips another death star, not a planet.

72. Even though this wasn't exactly what everyone was hoping for, the last 20 minutes will still be better than snyder's piece of $#!+.

mbomb22
mbomb22 - 5/17/2011, 2:12 PM
@Last son-your right. the only other time i think clark slept with anyone was when Lana had super powers too (I might be wrong, i cant remember, so please dont bash me if my memory isnt the best lol)

@Wallymandius-thanks. now i really want to see a cross over, with Apokalips invading the death star, and a battle between Vader and Darkseid!
HaroldOfGalactus
HaroldOfGalactus - 5/17/2011, 2:19 PM
He also banged on Lana's downstairs door at the beginning of Season 5, where he had no powers for a few episodes. (they lost their virginity together)

I always wondered if Clark's "controlling himself" to get down and dirty with Lois was just a Blue K ring....
J0RELLC00LJ
J0RELLC00LJ - 5/18/2011, 6:22 AM
So Jor-El was teaching him Kryptonian Kegel exercises?

or is it a Blue K cork ring?

Only Tea knows for sure
nuck82
nuck82 - 5/18/2011, 7:01 AM
@TheGODDAMNSUPERGUY that pic if epic!!!

73. if you dont get married the 1st time wait 7 years to try again with the same person
BahWeee
BahWeee - 5/18/2011, 8:45 AM
74. It is impossible to please everyone and someone will always piss and moan when they don't agree with something.
nuck82
nuck82 - 5/18/2011, 9:30 AM
75 bahwee sucks, and theres nothing good about smalville, and i wached about every episode of the last 2 or 3 seasons. yup i sure did, your welcome
BahWeee
BahWeee - 5/18/2011, 10:09 AM
Wow.....nice personal attack. So you're saying that your life is so bad that you spent 60 minutes a week watching a show you hated?
AC1
AC1 - 5/18/2011, 11:49 AM
77) Chloe reads the whole of Smallville to her 6 year old son, revealing the secret identities of his father the Green Arrow, Clark as Superman and god knows who else, without worrying that the kid might tell his friends...

78) Smallville likes to bookend finales with the future

79) Either Smallville's production team, Tom Welling, or both, were too cheap to actually get even one real shot of Tom as Superman as a reward for the fans who spent ten years watching this show

80) Smallville like starting seasons well only to end them poorly
nuck82
nuck82 - 5/18/2011, 1:05 PM
well not 60min i dvr'ed it, so ill watch it in 10 to 15min, and i wasnt really doing a personal attack lol just talking shit : P
KillJoyJuggernaut24
KillJoyJuggernaut24 - 5/18/2011, 2:26 PM
81) The writers will build up a character for 7 season to show why he turns into an evil asshole but then throw away the best part of the show by wiping his memory with 15 minutes left of the 10 year show.
KillJoyJuggernaut24
KillJoyJuggernaut24 - 5/18/2011, 2:27 PM
82) They wont show Lana naked even though some people started watching for that reason.
KillJoyJuggernaut24
KillJoyJuggernaut24 - 5/18/2011, 2:28 PM
83) Instead of going and banging as many woman as possible with super speed and them not knowing what happened Clark is gonna stay with flat ass having Lois.
Claymusick
Claymusick - 5/18/2011, 3:10 PM
84) Getting Force Choke Thrown By Darkseid Gives You The Ability To Fly.

85) Kryptonians Can See And Talk To Dead People.

86) Tess Was Dumb Enough To Get That Close To A Man Who Is Known To Do Exactly What He Did.

87) Its 7 Years Bad Luck To See Your Bride The Day Of The Wedding.

88) Memory Lost Makes You Switch From Black Clothes To White.

89) Lex Is The Love Child Of Darkseid And Lionel Luther.

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