Dearest Disney,
We here at Sony wish to extend our deepest gratitude in saving our asses and making our biggest movie of the last few years in Spider-Man: Homecoming by going behind your back and shitting on this partnership.
You may have noticed that we announced we will be making our very own rated R anti-hero movie (just like Fox, a rival company) with the most popular Spider-Man villain ever, Venom. We don't have any clue as to how we will pull this off but we feel rushing into it by announcing a release date before any kind of production staff or actors are hired or a script is written is the best course of action for us.
When you look at the success of Twentieth Century Fox's Deadpool and Logan movies, it becomes clear that an R rating automatically makes a quality movie (if you ignore the facts that it took nearly a decade to make Deadpool and nearly two decades to make a quality Wolverine movie.) So Venom will be rated [frick]ing R.
Additionally, we will be going with a very low budget, and it has nothing to do with the fact that we are broke as [frick] and so desperate to make money that we lent our biggest intellectual property in Spider-Man out to you last year. No, we will be going with a low budget because thats what Deadpool and Logan did and look how that turned out!
Lastly, this Venom movie will not be a part of the Marvel Cinematic Universe, the biggest most successful franchise of all time. Now that you made one movie for us, we should be able to hold our head above water for at least a couple years, or until this Venom movie is released and blows donkey balls because it has nothing to so with Spider-Man and ignores 30+ years of comic book canon by excluding him and the rest of the Marvel Universe from it.
Oh and we're also making a Black Cat/Silver Sable movie because we here at Sony specialize in shit ideas. Once again, thank you for doing all the work for us on Spider-Man: Homecoming, but [frick] off, we're doing Venom and there isn't a damn thing you or any of the fans we rely on to make money can do about it.
Yours truly,
Sony.