Okay, I was originally going to call this “Night of the Living Deadpool”, but I just got this great idea for this kickass zombie story, and I need to save that title.
This is a short story that takes place after:
X Men 4: The X-Factor
This is a tie in to my upcoming X-MEN 6: RISE OF APOCALYPSE
X-Men 5: The Day of Futures Past
X-MEN: ROGUE’S GAMBIT
But you don’t need to read those to enjoy this, it can act as a standalone story, or as a tie in to my X-Men 6 story. Well, enjoy and let me know what you think below.
A lab hidden away in a small building suddenly explodes. A figure jumps from the roof, throwing two grenades as he does.
The grenades as he lands saying “BAYSPLOSIONS!” he has a small sack, on his back, and in that sack is steel that is real. The man turns around saying “What is this Dr. Seuss? This is a Deadpool fan story on the internet, not Green Eggs and Spam. Narrate right damn it! And quit saying sack! Unprofessional!”
Deadpool leapt over a large gap to another building, he landed in a crouch and drew his swords from his back as someone approached. “Easy Wade, just me.” The person said as they walked out of the shadows. It was a man with brown hair and glasses.
Deadpool resheathed his swords saying “Ah Weasel, my favorite tech guy, and loveable side kick.”
Weasel sighed “Did you hit your head again Wade?”
Deadpool shook his head and pointed to a bullet wound “Nope. Got shot in the head!” Deadpool said with genuine pride.
As he says this another hole burst through his head followed by the sound of a gunshot. Weasel looks on in shock as Deadpool slumps forward and drops the canister. A woman with pale white skin and a black tattoo over her eye walks out of the shadows on the rooftop and picks up the canister and jumps off the ledge of the roof.
Weasel stands there in surprise when Deadpool jumps to his feet, “Whoa…what happened. New hole in my mask, memory loss, I’ve pissed myself…I’VE BEEN SHOT... AGAIN!”
He looks at Weasel “Who did it?”
Weasel points to where the woman jumped from “It was a woman with pale skin and a tattoo, she was hot, had a kinda albino Baroness thing going with the skin tight outfit and everything.”
Deadpool picks up his gun and walks to the edge of the roof thinking aloud “Using my keen knowledge of other mercenaries, or the fact that I read ahead in the story, I can deduce that this woman is the one and only Domino. Mark my words Domino, I will have vengeance!”
Domino makes her way to a van that she left parked in an alleyway to escape. She hears a click and dodges out of the way as the van explodes. She looks up to see an enraged Deadpool on a rooftop with a rocket launcher.
Deadpool draws his sword and jumps down there, taunting her “Here’s Wadey! So, quick question.” He said as he dodged a gun shot “Are you that color all over?”
Domino pulls out a second gun and opens fire on Deadpool. Deadpool jumps on a fire escape and somersaults in the air. He lands behind her and she turns to see him spinning the blades quickly in a very flashy pattern. Domino sighs, points her gun and shoots. Deadpool falls back as he is shot in the head, again.
Domino pulls out a phone as she walks away “Yeah Nate,I have it. No I only ran into a small problem, I’ll meet you at the rendezvous soon…” she trails off as she hears Deadpool clearing his throat behind her.
Deadpool is standing there with his arms crossed “Nate? That wouldn’t be someone that I may or may not have had an ongoing series with at one point in an alternate continuity would it?”
Domino shakes her head saying “Uh, Nate, I might be a while.”
Domino jumps up to the fire escape and climbs up escaping to the roof. Deadpool follows her up shooting at her angrily, talking all the while “Is that a tattoo, or did your pimp slap you for not having a tan?” he vaults over the ledge and onto the roof only to take a boot to the jaw as she kicks him. Deadpool grabs her and throws her off of the ten story building. Weasel walks up and looks at him.
Weasel scratches his head, “Uh Wade, shouldn’t you check and make sure she died?”
Deadpool snorts in amusement “Yeah right. I knocked her over a ledge she is dead. This is Marvel, no one has fake deaths or comes back from the dead. Now lets get to our rendezvous.”
Deadpool and Weasel are heading to a rendezvous, and are walking through the park and nearing a stone bridge “Uh, Wade?”
Deadpool is looking at the canister as they walk “Whats up?”
Weasel looked around at the park “Why are we walking through a park? Shouldn’t we be taking a car, or teleporting there?”
Deadpool shrugged “I don’t know, I’m just going with the plot, now please stop pointing out plot holes before you are replaced by Bob.”
Weasel looks at him confused “Who’s Bob?”
Deadpool stops and grabs Weasel shaking him “Exactly!”
Weasel stands there as Deadpool begins walking on the bridge. Weasel shakes his head and follows after him “So why do you want to work for this guy?
Deadpool shrugged as he hands Weasel the canister, “Several reasons.” Deadpool said but was interrupted before he could continue as an explosion blew him off of the bride and into the water below.
Weasel spins around to see Domino leaning a grenade launcher over a shoulder as she walks up warily. Domino shakes her head and warily snatches the canister from Weasel at gunpoint, “do us all a favor and make him stay down!”
Weasel fishes Deadpool out of the river, his costume in rags, and hand missing. “That was my favorite hand! It was so… dexterous.”
He leapt to his feet and looked himself over as Weasel leaned against a post.
“I am so mad! She is really getting under my skin. I swear I want to kill her; I want to rend her limb from limb. I want to Sing!” Deadpool says striking a pose as if he is holding a microphone.
Weasel scratches his head in confusion and bewilderment “Sing? Really Wade?”
Deadpool nods emphatically “Yes Weasel. I do. Apparently I am being written as the villain in this story, an incompetent one at that! And seeing as how Marvel is owned by Disney, I can sing one of their classic villain songs! I love being owned by Marvel and distributed by FOX!”
Deadpool clears his throat and puts his palms together and kneels like he is praying “Beata Maria,You know I am a righteous man. Of my virtue I am justly proud.”
Weasel scratches his head “Wade, what are you singing?”
Deadpool looks up angrily “Uh, Sweet Transvestite. Actually I’m singing Hellfire, the greatest song about eternal damnation, lust, greed, guilt and sin ever written and all in the name of the mouse! Fear the Mouse Weasel. FEAR HIM!”
Weasel shakes his head “You said you wanted to do a FOX song, Hunchback of Notre Dame is Disney, not FOX.”
Deadpool looked at Weasel, “Quick pull out your IPhone and Google what villain songs FOX has!”
Weasel looked at him uncomfortably “Uh Wade, shouldn’t we be chasing Domino? OR leaving here before the explosion draws the police?”
Deadpool grabs Weasel by the shoulders shaking him furiously “Damn it Weasel, allow me this break from the plot and find me a damn song from a decent kids movie now or I’ll stab you though the leg!”
Weasel quickly pulled up a list of movies, “Uh FOX has Anastasia!”
Deadpool rubbed his chin thoughtfully, “Hmmm… In the Dark of the Night… Hit it!”
Play this:
Deadpool jumped to the middle of the bridge as Weasel quietly said “I wonder why no cops have shown up…”
Deadpool began laughing maniacally
“In the dark of the night I was tossing and turning
And the nightmare I had was as bad as can be --
It scared me out of my wits --
A corpse falling to bits!
Then I opened my eyes
And the nightmare was...me!!”
He ran over and grabbed Weasel’s arm dragging him to the railing,
“I was once the most menacing merc in all Marvel!
When that b**** shot me she made a mistake!
My curse made each of them pay
But one little girl got away!
Little Domino, beware,
Deadpool's alive!
A chorus begins singing from nowhere, causing Weasel to look around in surprise
“In the dark of the night evil will find her
In the dark of the night just before dawn!
Aah...”
Weasel looks around scared “Uh Wade, where is that coming from?” Deadpool ignored him continuing.
Deadpool- “Revenge will be sweet”
[Deadpool and Chorus]
When the curse is complete!
[ALL]
In the dark of the night
[Deadpool]
She'll be gone!
I can feel that my powers are slowly returning!
Try my hash and I’ll smash who complains of that smell!
AS the pieces fall into place
I'll see her crawl into place!
Dasvidanya, Domino, bid your face, farewell!
[Chorus]
In the dark of the night terror will strike her!
[Deadpool]
Terror's the least I can do!
[Chorus]
In the dark of the night evil will brew.
Ooh!
[Deadpool]
Soon she will feel that her nightmares are real.
[ALL]
In the dark of the night
[Deadpool]
She'll be through!
[Chorus]
In the dark of the night
Evil will find her
Find her!
Ooh!
In the dark of the night terror comes true.
Doom her!
[Deadpool]
My dear, here's a sign --
[Deadpool AND Chorus]
It's the end of the line!
[ALL]
In the dark of the night...
In the dark of the night...
In the dark of the night...
[Deadpool]
Come my minions,
Rise for your master,
Let your evil shine!
Find her now,
Yes, fly ever faster
[ALL]
In the dark of the night...
In the dark of the night...
In the dark of the night...
[Deadpool]
She'll be mine!
Deadpool finishes standing in the middle of the bridge as sirens can be heard in the distance approaching. Weasel shakes his head “That was pointless. Now that this departure from reality is over can we get out of here before the cops arrive? I slipped a racer on the canister, I know where she is.”
Deadpool grabbed Weasel and activated his teleporter on his belt teleporting them away as the cops pull up. Deadpool and Weasel reappeared on top of a warehouse watching as Domino pulled up on a motorcycle.
Deadpool chuckled “I’ll get her this time, all I need is a diversion.” He said looking at Weasel.
Domino heard a crash behind her and turned to see Weasel land on a pile of crates. She spun back around and pulled out her pistol as Deadpool landed beside her. They held a gun on each other’s face.
“Give me the canister, now.” Deadpool growled.
Domino laughed “And what if I don’t?” she said cocking her pistol.
Deadpool cocked his own pistol “I will end you.”
Domino sighed and threw the canister in the air and kicked Deadpool in the groin before back flipping to her motorcycle. She jumped on and sped away into the night. Deadpool doubled over in pain as Weasel crawled over moaning. Weasel picked up the canister and handed it to Deadpool “That was easy.”
Deadpool nodded “Now lets get this to the sewers, where we meet our contacts.”
Weasel nodded emphatically “Agreed. So who is this guy and why do you want to work for him so bad?”
Deadpool shrugged as they teleported again to a small darkly lit street “Well for one thing the guys name is Sinister, that alone is cool. Secondly he has a team working for him called the Marauders, that is very cool. Thirdly he works with people called War and Death. That is F***ing cool. Fourthly, he pays well.”
Deadpool pulled open a manhole cover, he began climbing down the ladder “Uh Weasel, you might want to stay up here, things might get hairy down there.”
Weasel nodded “Well, I’m heading home good luck.”
Deadpool walked down the sewer tunnels until he came to three people, a woman and two men, Arclight, Sabretooth and Manhunter. “Here it is, safe and sound!” Deadpool said with pride.
Meanwhile Domino walked into a dark room, the light came on and there stood Cable at what appeared to be a lab area. Domino reached into a pouch on her belt and pulled out three metal vials “Here you are Nate, I got the virus right here.”
Cable smiled and took them from her “Great work Dom. We wouldn’t want these ending up in the wrong hands. Nasty little things… What ended up happening with that mercenary?”
Domino shrugged and bit her lip lightly as she smiled “Well… Deadpool won’t soon forget me I don’t think. I left him with a little surprise.”
Manhunter opened the canister to see a primed grenade. Deadpool looked at it in surprise “Ah ****” he said as the canister exploded, consuming the area in flames.
To be continued in X-Men 6: The Age of Apocalypse
Thanks for reading folks, I should have some stuff for X-Men 6 soon, and maybe one more tie in story for ya!
I know that was a bit odd, I hope it wasn't too bad. I thought it was funny.
CAST:
Deadpool (Wade Winston Wilson)- Ryan Reynolds
Domino (Neena Thurman)- Charlize Theron
Weasel (Jack Hammer)- Justin Bartha
Cable(Nathan Summers)-Michael Biehn
Here is a complete list of my Fan Fictions that I have done here on Comicbookmovie.com:
Here is my list of Stories I have written on CBM
DC
Justice League of America Vs the Legion of Doom parts 1-3 (Never finished)
Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Batman:
Batman3: End of Days
Batman 4 Darkside of the Mind
Batman 5: Shadow of the Bat
Shadow of the Bat: Part 1
Shadow of the Bat Part 2
Batman 6: Knightfall
Batman Knightfall Part 1
Batman Knightfall Part 2
Superman:
Superman: The Man of Steel
Superman: The Last Kryptonian
Short Stories:
Lobo’s Blackest Night, or: Lobo’s Posthumous X-Mas Special
Ghosts of Yesterday (Featuring Zatanna and Question)
Batman Stranger Days (Feat: Batman and the Phantom Stranger
MARVEL:
Nick Fury Agent of SHIELD
Avengers
X-MEN
X Men 4: The X-Factor
X-Men 5: The Day of Futures Past
X-MEN: ROGUE’S GAMBIT
Spiderman1
Castings:
I have done numerous casting on this site as well, they are very enjoyable and I put a lot of thought into them.
330 X-Men Characters!
THEHAWK Casts the ENTIRE 108 Members of the Justice League
Casting the New Gods of Apokolips
Flash's Rouges
Batman's Rouges Gallery
Killer Instict
Wonder Woman's friends and foes
The Endless
The Marauders
Secret Six
Deadpool
X-Men 4 Cast
Superman
Thundercats
HAWK out