Hawkman carries Stargirl to the rooftop of a nearby building. He turns his attention back to the warehouse as Stargirl regains consciousness.
STARGIRL:
Confused expression. "Wha....happened? Where's....?"
HAWKMAN:
Gazing back at the warehouse. "Star. Shh. I'm trying to survey the scene. Let's see...those Earth 2 chump heroes managed to get out of there. Zoom's....uhh....well, he's zooming off somewhere. And the bad guy team from our Earth has our teammates. Well, except for Zatanna and Constantine, they must've gotten out like us."
STARGIRL:
Squinting at the warehouse. "Wow. You can really see all that?"
HAWKMAN:
"Yeah. Well, you know, hawk eyes."
STARGIRL:
"So relieved you didn't say, Cawk eyes."
HAWKMAN:
"Star? What do I look like? A Kardashian? Please, let's try and keep our maturity here. I'm trying to see where these bad guys are taking our friends. We really need a name for this group of bad guys, this is like the third time we've fought them. What do you think Star? What's a good soul crushing, despicable name for these brutal, ugly bastards? Keep in mind, there's a similar group, but they've taken the name 'One Direction' already."
STARGIRL:
"Oh, ha ha, Hawkman. You know, we're going to get back to our Earth and find out that something awful has happened to 'One Direction'. I just have the bad feels."
HAWKMAN:
"Eh, I'm sure they're fine. What would be awful? Getting back and finding out that, I don't know, there's plans to reboot the 'Prez' comic book series."
STARGIRL:
Shudders. "You're right about that. I guess...I guess, we could call them, uh, the 'B Side Squad'? Where are they going anyway?"
HAWKMAN:
Focused stare. "Looks like some kind of factory. I'd bet my mace! That's Sivanna's headquarters or hideout."
STARGIRL:
Looks around. "Hey, where is your mace?"
HAWKMAN:
Talks quietly. "Must not...must restrain myself, despite perfect setup."
STARGIRL:
Confused expression. "What's that?"
HAWKMAN:
"Nothing! Just repeating the factory's address, so I remember it. Before we visit the B Side Squad, we should have a chat with those Earth two.....uh...we need a name for them as well."
STARGIRL:
"That's easy, the JLA."
HAWKMAN:
"Serious? JLA?"
STARGIRL:
"Oh yeah, the Justice League of Assholes."
Jay Garrick brings Dr. Fate into the 'Tableroom' of the Brownstone, effectively regrouping the Earth 2 heroes with Phantom Lady, Atom of E2, and Hourman.
ATOM OF E2:
"Well that was great! Just perfect! Not only do we not have our families safely returned, but we also just got some fellow heroes captured. Jeez, swell plan Hourman. You earn top marks my friend."
HOURMAN:
"Just....just be quiet and calm yourselves everyone. Things got out of hand and it looks pretty bad. But, at least they're not getting the real cosmic treadmill. And those Earth one heroes? Were a joke. Highly unprofessional. Second shift? Pfft. It's a bad joke."
ATOM OF E2:
"I wouldn't say all that. Their Atom seemed like a good guy. At least, he had excellent taste in code names."
PHANTOM LADY:
"I kind of liked them."
HOURMAN:
"You must be kidding Phantom, right? The Hawkman one, was incredibly rude and vulgar toward you. He was a meathead!"
PHANTOM LADY:
"Are you jealous there Rex? You had your shot with me, just be lucky I didn't tell them a more apt name for you is Minuteman. Or Flash Man. Or Brief Boy!
JAY GARRICK:
"Flash? Man? What the...??"
ATOM OF E2:
"I suppose now would be the part when they say....burn?"
HOURMAN:
"Maybe, they should take some of you with them to their Earth. Enough of this petty nonsense. What's our next step?"
JAY GARRICK:
"I think some of them managed to escape. But it doesn't matter. Fate, you have the ability to trace those comm devices we gave to the Earth one heroes, right? We need to find out where they're being held, that'll probably be the same place Sivanna's hiding out. And we have to do this quickly, before Zoom and Sivanna find out about our fake treadmill."
DR FATE:
"Funny you should mention tracking them, because if I am not mistaken, it looks like two of them are headed directly toward our location. Oh and....Brief Boy? Good one Phantom Lady."
Meanwhile, a large purple circle grows at the edge of a swamp. Zatanna and John Constantine fall through the orb and splash into the inky waters of the swamp.
ZATANNA:
"John? Where?....where, are we?"
CONSTANTINE:
"The first thought I could think of to port us to love. Slaughter swamp. It's quite...uh, scentful on this Earth. Just glad we didn't port to a strip club. Hopefully though, this planet has an Alec and he can help us."
They hear what sounds like moaning from a nearby tree. The two cautiously approach the tree and peer to the other side as they crouch out of sight by the tree. They see, what appears to be a very young Swamp Thing laying atop a bed of soggy moss, he's holding a magazine above his head, 'Playboy-style' as a picture of a plant appears on a fold out.
SWAMP THING:
"Oh yeah! Bush....and, dang, check out those fichus!! Mossy!!"
ZATANNA:
"Oh. My. God. Swamp Thing's a horny kid."
SWAMP THING:
Jumps besides the moss bed in excitement and surprise. "Wha...who? Who are you guys? And I'm not a kid, I'll be fifteen in two months."
CONSTANTINE:
"Ok, ok, ok. Let's all keep calm here."
Suddenly another bright purple hued portal developes nearby, out of this portal comes a fourteen year old Constantine carrying a six pack of beer and a pack of cigarettes.
CONSTANTINE OF E2:
"Alec! I got the beer and smokes mate. Uhh, who the bloody hell are these folks. Damn, she's beautiful."
ZATANNA:
Laughs. "Perfect, little boy John. Aw, although he's so cute, we need help here John."
CONSTANTINE OF E1:
"Blimey, you do know how to drive thirteen year olds nuts eh Zee? They may be young, but I think these chaps may be of assistance to us yet."
ZATANNA:
"We don't need to know where to find the nearest copy of 'Playboy'. How're they going to help? Also, cutie young John, honey, you shouldn't smoke."
CONSTANTINE OF E1:
"I've got an idea. These two may be able to improve our magics here on this Earth."
ZATANNA:
Points to the end of the moss bed with a confused expression. "Is that? Is that, Hawkman's mace?"
Inside Dr. Sivanna's laboratory the B Side Squad lock up the members of the Second Shift team they captured at the warehouse. They restrain the heroes in a holding cell area and walk down a long corridor back to the main lab. Bane, Joker, Black Manta, and Cheetah walk slowly to rejoin Dr. Sivanna.
JOKER:
"...and so I was completely confused. What did they mean? 'Magic Mike XXL' isn't about a fat magician?"
BLACK MANTA:
"Hahaha, Bro, what could a movie about a fat magician possibly be about?"
JOKER:
"Trying to escape the deadly trap that is diabetes?"
BANE:
"Perhaps!! The obese illusionist would claim to make a dozen donuts disappear! Disappear to his stomach."
CHEETAH:
"Now, that would be an entertaining film. They could get Jonah Hill to star instead of Tatum."
The group enters the main laboratory giggling.
DR SIVANNA:
"Welcome back! Excellent job! Zoom should be back shortly with the cosmic treadmill!"
CHEETAH:
"I don't know about the rest of you, but Zoom is getting on my nerves. Badly."
BLACK MANTA:
"Totally. Dude's a tool and a half."
JOKER:
"This plan as well to converge the two planets? Seems kooky, and not in a good way kooky. Unlike Harley coming over dressed like a sexy ghost. Spooky kooky. Maybe we should modify the plan. I bet we could drive the people of this Earth absolutely bat crap insane. We just have show them what they have to look forward to in the future. Dick pics and Justin Beiber!!! Hahahaha!!!"
DR SIVANNA:
"I must admit, Zoom can be a bit brash. He probably believes he can dupe us as well. Which is why I believe he chose to leave your peer, Dr. Psycho, on Earth one. However, I propose to you four, a different plan. A variation on this plan. I have just enough juice to send two of you to another Earth entirely. This Earth three is home to an atomic power source, capable of powering the convergence device to full power. Independently of the cosmic treadmill. I just need two of you to go and retrieve this power source. This device will be able to guide you to the source." Presents a handheld device.
CHEETAH:
"Sounds like a riot, doctor shriveled. Anything, to stick it to this Zoom. I'll go."
BANE:
"I shall accompany our fair Cheetah. Together we will quell this Earth to submission and attain this atomic device. By the way, what is it?"
DR SIVANNA:
"Oh, well that's sort of the tricky thing. It's not a thing, more so a person. Goes by the moniker of Deathstorm."
JOKER:
"Deathstorm? Loved their early stuff, you know, before they sold out."
CHEETAH:
"I'm starting to think this may..."
Before she can finish her sentence, Cheetah and Bane are engulfed in a bright light shot at them by Dr. Sivanna. The pair suddenly finds themselves in a large, sprawling, and dark gothic city. They are standing in front of an all male strip club, with a huge neon light that reads "The Mace Room". Near the entrance a woman who looks just like Talia Al Ghul stands out front.
BANE:
"I can not believe my eyes! Talia?"
The woman grabs Bane by the lapels of his coat and shoves him against the wall of the adjoining building to the club.
TALIA OF E3:
"Look here pal. You strongly remind me of my dearly departed husband, Antonio for some odd reason. So, I'm going to do you a favor. Get out of here now! This club is a target of the League of Freedom Fighters."
A spotlight shines down from a dark metallic aircraft hovering above their heads. Owlman descends from the aircraft atop a platform that is connected to a line from the hovering craft. Besides Owlman Earth 3's Hawkman, gently floats down.
OWLMAN:
"Well Talia, you couldn't hide from the syndicate for long. It's time we put an end to your father's little band of rebels, the League of Freedom Fighters. And yes, you'll be giving up Ras soon enough. Capture!"
A large net repels from the platform, it wraps up the three, Cheetah, Bane, and Talia together. Owlman looks at the club disgusted as the captured trio is propelled up to his aircraft. He then looks at the E3 Hawkman, disappointed.
OWLMAN:
"I give you this club and territory and this is what you use it for?"
CAWKMAN:
Exaggerated lisp. "Ow Owlman, please leave the judging with Ultraman. What else would you expect from someone named the Cawkman. Besides, I need a place to keep my mace, I was always misplacing that thing. Oooo, I'm bad!"
OWLMAN:
"Let's get these rebels to the Watchtower."
CAWKMAN:
"You got it boss! As well, I wanted to thank you again for taking out that Indiana governor."
OWLMAN:
"Of course. Could hardly believe he'd put through something as corrupt as the 'Religious Freedom Tolerance' law or whatever it's called."
Thanks for reading everyone!!! STAYED TUNED!!