Well people, people, calm down. I know what you're thinking "Nic would make an awesome Batman but no way! I want him for Lex Luthor!" to be honest I had thought that myself but I must give it a try.
Besides I can't allow every pseudo-TV actor to have one of these flashy pages and not me! Come on who of those guys actually stole the Declaration of Independence! NO-ONE! I know right?
So Here it is. The 12 reasons why Nic Cage thinks that Nic Cage should be the next Batman.
1. I can Actually act
Think about it people! Have this Fassbender guy won an Oscar? HA! I thought so. Don't even let me start on the TV guys.
2. Badass
Remember that time when I put the entire prison at my feet. Well that's just me I can punch anybody and look cool.
3. Playboy
Lets face it I'm handsome, I'm sexy. But you think can i be a player? Yeah, I think I can. Have you seen my facebook page? Hundreds of thousands of fans crowding to get a piece of me.
3. Height
At 6'0" I'm high but not s high as Henry. That was what you fans were claiming for? Well you got it.
4. I can do sad
You know how Batman lost his parents? Well I can show that at a completely new emotional level. I'm your guy.
5. Age
There's a rumor going on that Zack is looking for 49 year actors. Well I'm 49. I can look experienced. Bring it on!
6. Voice
So, Batman has to have a strong voice that doesn't sound like he has cancer. Done. If you don't remember my voice look at the Croods, I'm there too.
7. Muscular
People keep telling me that I'm the Ned Flanders of the Oscar winners. I may not look like it but when I take my shirt of I make this Joe Slimaniello cry.
8. Millionaire
I'm millionare already. Have you seen my car? Google it.
9. I'm ok with punching women
You know how Catwoman is one of Batman's greatest enemies? Well I could punch her without a problem.
10. I could pull the Bruce Wayne/Batman duality
I ALREADY DID IT! Kick-ass that's it! Best Big Daddy ever!
11. I'm into comics
Huge Superman fan. I actually had an Action Comics #1, envy me.
12. I can pee fire
I did Ghost Rider and even when that was not my best work ever it tells you that I am familiar to comic book roles. I do those with passion.
Ok, that's all for now. The only thing I have left to say is this:
I could definitely find comic books roles that fit me better than Batman but you will not find an actor that fits better Batman than me.