First Review For Conan The Barbarian Hits

First Review For Conan The Barbarian Hits

The Playlist have just posted their review for Marcus Nispel's remake that screened at Empire's Big Screen earlier today. What did they think? Click to find out..

By MarkCassidy - Aug 14, 2011 06:08 PM EST
Filed Under: Conan
Source: The Playlist

They hated it is the short version. I wasn't too enthusiastic myself after the trailers and the fact that it was directed by the man that inflicted Pathfinder on us but apparently it's even worse than anticipated. Here are some excerpts from the Playlist's review..



..Let’s start with Momoa. We’d had some hope after his turn on “Game of Thrones” that the actor might at least stand out in the film, forgetting that he only spoke half-a-dozen words of English across ten episodes. He’s fine at the sword-slinging, but delivery of dialogue? Not so much. And the rest of the cast aren’t much better: Lang is on sneering villainous autopilot, reprising his “Avatar” turn with an unplaceable accent, while Rachel Nichols fails to give any personality to what is, in fairness, a role that’s not so much underwritten as never-written. Worst of all is Rose McGowan, made up to look like a cross between Christina Ricci and an IMAX screen, and horrendously overplaying her part as Lang’s sorceress daughter...

..The director doesn’t bring any of his music video chops here: it’s thoroughly workmanlike stuff, and could have been made by anyone—at least the original came from the barking mad John Milius, making it feel something close to a passion project, rather than the paycheck gig this so obviously is for Nispel. The worst of it is how much he steals from other movies, and not even classics, but blockbusters from the last decade. The prologue, filling in back story, about a magical object being broken into many pieces and scattered around the world? “The Lord of the Rings” trilogy (films that Nispel presumably loves, as he lifts from it multiple times). A mentor/mentee training fight on an icy lake? “Batman Begins.” Fighting formless sand creatures? “Spider-Man 3.” Yes, this is a film that rips off “Spider-Man 3.” The fact that Nispel chose Morgan Freeman, of all people, to narrate is a good demonstration of the lack of imagination on hand.

There are been plenty of bad movies this year, but at least you feel that people were trying for, say, “Battle: Los Angeles” or “Sucker Punch,” they didn’t actually set out to make a bad movie. “Conan The Barbarian” just comes across as half-assed; a quick, cheap, cash-grab with nothing but contempt for its audience, something that would look shoddy even if it were the direct-to-DVD movie it so often resembles. And you should stay away from it like it was horde of bandits coming to burn down your village.


They also say that the action and gore are sub standard and the 3D conversion the worst they have ever seen. Basically they slate every single aspect of the movie aside from expressing some praise for the opening scenes. Now this is just one opinion, and The Playlist can be pretty harsh on movies I find, but it's not looking good Conan fans. Maybe another reboot in 2 years with Uwe Boll at the helm?

For the full review click the link below.




By: TwitterButtons.com

By TwitterButtons.com



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JoshWilding
JoshWilding - 8/14/2011, 6:34 PM
Ha, knew it. :)
DaenerysTargaryen
DaenerysTargaryen - 8/14/2011, 6:37 PM
well there's no suprise :P
xBlaze96x
xBlaze96x - 8/14/2011, 6:38 PM
Jeez, It is that bad???? Well there goes that one actors dreams of a sequel.
dnno1
dnno1 - 8/14/2011, 6:47 PM
"There are been plenty of bad movies..."

Great review. Needs an editor.
MrJ
MrJ - 8/14/2011, 6:53 PM
I don't know. Sounds like the reviewer was stood up at his prom by Conan and now he's using words to try and hurt him back.

I will reserve judgment until I've seen the movie for myself.
jbender
jbender - 8/14/2011, 6:53 PM
Screw reboot. CONAN THE KING Starring Schwarzenegger!!!
FightAs0ne
FightAs0ne - 8/14/2011, 6:56 PM
LMAO I knew this movie was gonna be wack!!
Ethic
Ethic - 8/14/2011, 6:57 PM
It's been painfully obvious this would be a shitty movie from the get-go in my opinion.
But I said I'd wait til reviews hit, and it's not surprising in the slightest.
I honestly don't know why this was getting so much attention during production.
marvel72
marvel72 - 8/14/2011, 7:00 PM
i said i was gonna wait for the dvd,i think i will.to be worse than sucker punch & battle la is f*ckin terrible.
ironknight
ironknight - 8/14/2011, 7:01 PM
I never trust critics to tell me what to think, so I will still see this movie sometime.
Sanderman
Sanderman - 8/14/2011, 7:02 PM
Man what a disappointment.
FEJ
FEJ - 8/14/2011, 7:05 PM
So then it should have shown it on SYFY Saturday night instead.
sheebz
sheebz - 8/14/2011, 7:07 PM
saw that coming a mile away
Greengo
Greengo - 8/14/2011, 7:09 PM
,What did you exspect? Rose Mcgowan is in it.
MaddMonkk
MaddMonkk - 8/14/2011, 7:11 PM
Wow, I wasn't expecting "The Color Purple" but I didn't see this coming. I'm still gonna watch it because I AM A COMIC BOOK FAN. To be continued.....
Mechagino
Mechagino - 8/14/2011, 7:12 PM
Eh, stupid people say stupid things. Let's just hope our viewing experience differs.
Whovian
Whovian - 8/14/2011, 7:12 PM
I am not moved. You will find me in line to watch it next week.
SeaSerpentine
SeaSerpentine - 8/14/2011, 7:14 PM
Bummer.
RyanLantern77
RyanLantern77 - 8/14/2011, 7:15 PM
lol i called it. [frick] Jason Mamoa.... Hopefully he realizes now he is a shit actor

headlopper
headlopper - 8/14/2011, 7:20 PM
That's too bad; Robert E.Howard deserves better. At least there's still the Dark Horse Conan comics. They've been good, even great, since issue#0.
JatevinM
JatevinM - 8/14/2011, 7:28 PM
Considering the first one wasn't all that good either this isn't really a big shocker, but I will say this to people go and see if for yourself and form your own opinion.
mpk1988
mpk1988 - 8/14/2011, 7:30 PM
Ouch.. was hoping it'd be a fun movie.. still.. will watch it when it hits the theatre's..
MasterBlaster
MasterBlaster - 8/14/2011, 7:50 PM
I'm not shocked, moama seems like a [frick]ing dumbshit halfwit. When it posted how he had "already written the sequel" I imagined a monkey scrawling on the walls of his enclosure. This idiots ego is what contributed to the failure of this franchise. Get a real actor next time.
MasterBlaster
MasterBlaster - 8/14/2011, 7:50 PM
I'm not shocked, moama seems like a [frick]ing dumbshit halfwit. When it posted how he had "already written the sequel" I imagined a monkey scrawling on the walls of his enclosure. This idiots ego is what contributed to the failure of this franchise. Get a real actor next time.
NeoBaggins
NeoBaggins - 8/14/2011, 7:52 PM
lol If this thing gets eaten alive by most critics, I can't even say I called it because it's so obvious. In fact, no one should pat themselves on the back for opredicting the demise of this turd. I wouldn't even rent this crap, let alone be caught anywhere near a theater when this comes out.

The summer movie season ended with Planet of the Apes.
SwingsetKnight
SwingsetKnight - 8/14/2011, 7:52 PM
Well dammit. I somehow managed to convince myself it might be a kind of blah 50%-er for Howard fans.

*Sigh* Damn you, Nispel.
40oz
40oz - 8/14/2011, 7:56 PM
Wow. I can't believe all you people are acting like this is going to be a bad movie. First of all, that is the WORST movie review I have ever read. And who did the review? The Playfist? Or something like that. Don't you people have your own ideas and judgement? Be a leader! Not a follower! And ya know what, the movie not might be the best, or it might exceed your expectations, but don't go by someones review. All you people are acting like you have already seen the movie.
superpooper
superpooper - 8/14/2011, 7:57 PM
Ha. Can't say I didn't expect that one. Looks like Arnold keeps the title after all.
Deadshot
Deadshot - 8/14/2011, 7:58 PM
A Conan movie must have heart (and i don't mean a love interest) judging from everything I've heard and seen from the film, this has none.
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