The last and best trailer for Justice League is here, and the hype is real, folks! And like any kill in the wild, the apex predators get first pick. Smarter geeks than me, with more comic cred and their own websites, get dibs. They devour the best, juiciest pieces of info then regurgitate them for the young readers to consume. I might be taking this metaphor too far, but damn, I'm kind of locked in now.
After they've had their fill, then come the scavengers like me, the vultures, to pick the carcass clean, bone and all. We look bad, we smell bad, but it's a living. That being said, I want to share some of the gristle I've gleaned from last weekend's trailer.
8. Lois Lane Was Born In A Barn
Right now, it's the only thing that can be conjectured. The brazen behavior of leaving the front door wide open in the country should not be downplayed. I know this isn't Australia, but we have brown recluse spiders and ticks. I live in the Midwest, so I know. I also know we don't know the context of this scene yet. Is this a dream? Is it the first time Lois and Clark see each other again? Regardless of the situation, there's no accounting for country rudeness.
7. That's Probably Monsanto GMO Corn On The Kent Farm
If you think about it, it's the most likely answer. After Pa Kent went toe-to-toe with a twister and Clark left on walkabout, who was there to tend the Kent Family Farm? That's too big of a job for one person. So here's a retirement age Martha Kent, with a large farm and no one to help her. What would she do? She would probably subsidize the farm to a corporation or the government for some cash to live on. Monsanto, the Lex Corp of the real world who hold 90% of the seed market, would gobble that farm up in no time, the most likely uses being for cattle feed or biofuel supplements. It's kind of depressing to think about, but Snyder did say he wanted these movies to be grounded in reality. It doesn't get more gritty than drained aquifers or prairie decimation.
6. Print Media Is Still A Big Thing In The DCEU
This is actually some good news. In a comic book movie, there's nothing more iconic than the latest headlines being thrown at you in the form of bundled newspapers before they're placed on newsstands. In reality, the times are changing. 1/3 of newspapers around the country have closed their doors. People turn to the internet for most of their news, and that's where most newspapers are going. So in today's age, that scene up there would probably look more like this:
5. Steppenwolf Has Space Herpes That Only Affects Men
This scene showed us how the parademons come about. In an ancient battle from the trailer, we see one of the warriors being transformed into one, letting us know they are not another race subjugated by the villains for their own purposes, but fallen foes. I noticed something else from this scene. None of the women(Amazonian?) behind him are being transformed. Come to think of it, in all the footage I've seen so far, I've never seen a parademon with curves. This leads me to believe that maybe it only affects men and why the Amazonians beat Steppenwolf the first time. And like herpes, this curse seems for life. The Justice League are lancing parademons left and right in the trailer. If it was reversible, wouldn't Cyborg tell Aquaman, "Hey. That guy had four kids. There might be a cure. You didn't have to run him through like that." Aquaman would probably quip back something like, "Cool story, bro!"
4. Wonder Woman Still Has A Cush Job At The Louvre
Probably early in the movie, Bruce stops by her office, judging by the statue behind her, to show Diana some evidence that he's actually a detective. Since she says, "Invasion," we have to assume Wayne satellites picked up something on the horizon or he's regaling a dream from his latest nappy nap. Either way, we know she's going to be putting in a vacation request very soon after. And, God help the department supervisor who turns down that request.
3. Zack Snyder REALLY Wants Us To Know Cyborg Misses Football
If you can say anything about Zack Snyder, it's that he's not very subtle. Whether it's Jesus/Superman metaphors or perfect song placements, the guy lets you know what he's trying to say without much room for interpretation. Counting at least eight references to football in this one scene might be a touch much, but then again we haven't panned out yet. I'm sure he could stick at least twenty more in there before we cut to the flashback of Cyborg playing football.
I say, why can't he still play? They let Teen Wolf play basketball. Air Bud got to play everything.
2. The Bat Signal Is Still A Fire Hazard
Seriously, that thing needs some oil or something. Oil's not flammable, is it? I'm not an electrician.
What was way cool in Batman v Superman was a battle suit Batman firing up the Bat Signal with a flash of sparks and smoke. Now, I'm just getting concerned. It was raining heavily in BvS so I gave it the benefit of the doubt, but really, they should get that thing looked at. Imagine one of those sparks flying into Commissioner Gordon's stache or eye. Plus, that thing is on top of the police department. Put the friendly police v fireman rivalry aside and get an inspector up there.
1. Bruce Wayne Has A Creepy Van
When I first saw this scene, I had the same reaction everyone else probably did, "Holy crap! Batman made a hologram of Superman naked except for his boots and cape!" But then, my eye lingered and I noticed something in the background.
What's with the creepy van, Bruce? Was the Jaguar in the shop? Is he on vacation? Is it for luring in potential Robins?
But you know what? I can't wait for these questions to be answered. November 17 will not get here quick enough. We've got a full course meal coming: Ragnarok for appetizers, Justice League for dinner, and The Last Jedi for dessert.
Hela yum.