Alright, TBH, we need to chill out about the crazy rules of our messed up language. Like, aren’t we passed past the point where correct form of a word is overrated?
We need to break free from the limitations placed on us. We should be able to use past-tense when talking about the future. We should be able to use informal words when we are writing formal content. I mean surely the word itself says “in formal”, right?
I mean, like, yesterday I was talking to, like, this dude from my office and I know he is my boss and all but he is like, “This is a formal place, you shouldn’t use so many ‘like’ in a sentence,” and told me to stop using obsolete words. Look, language is all about self-expression. It’s like, my way or the highway! Okay, maybe not that extreme, but you get the point. So, can’t you just try harder to “get” me? Who cares if most people don’t use them? Words have history, you know?
Yeah, sometimes I use nope when I should be saying no, but it just gives more emotions to my words. And, let’s face it, formal writing is boring AF. When you use slang and improper words, you add spice and personality. You know, words like “totally,” “like,” and “I mean” – they add a certain je ne sais quoi.
You must have seen movies, The Batman for example, where they talk so much that it can be a snoozefest. I mean we need more action to keep the people engaged. It’s totally the fault of the conveyour if the receiver falls asleep. And, it’s not like they want to understand what you are saying, they just need to hear, see and do something different. So, I use words that most people won’t understand as it wakes them up like, “What did he just say?”. But some disagree — “You can’t mix Spanish and Chinese with English”. Like, what do you mean - it’s called fusion, bruh. Try it, it’s tasty.
And don’t even get me started on the pretentiousness of those “Grammar Nazis”. You know the kind - “that’s incorrect preposition”, “that’s not a word“ and “you can’t disrespect the dead to make a point”. Like, dude, relax. Besides, who are they to judge? Talking like a robot in real life just makes you seem artificial. They speak a totally foreign language.
And what’s with their obsession with “exclude” when clearly “disclude” is the superior word. It sounds more exclusive, you know? As the immortal Mark Twain so profoundly put it, ‘The difference between the almost right word and the right word is really a large matter, it’s the difference between the lightning-bug and the lightning.’ So, like, “disclude” is clearly the more electrifying choice. It’s all about projecting an air of intellectual superiority, right? But they are so busy criticizing grammar that they miss the bigger picture like you know, the joy of fan casting.
Especially when it comes to Batman, I mean seriously, who do you think would be the perfect Bruce Wayne? Robert Pattinson? Yeah, he’s brooding, but does he have the gravitas? Christian Bale? Too…method, maybe? Jared Leto? Okay, bad example. The point is, it’s about more than just acting chops. It’s about finding someone who embodies the essence of the character, the brooding billionaire playboy, the tortured soul beneath the mask.
Someone who can pull off that iconic cowl and make you believe that they could actually take down the Joker. Yeah, it doesn’t matter since Joker isn’t known for his fighting prowess. But then there’s Bane, who broke his back. So the actor should at least be tough enough to take a beating from Bane. (Priorities, people.) Honestly, sometimes I think fans just want to see Batman get his butt kicked for two hours straight. But, since Creature Commandos already hinted at the return of Ben Affleck as Fatman Batman, that fits perfectly. And he’s the best in the role, even though Snyder ruined it. Let’s hope he gets a better shot this time.
Anyway, this is why we should avoid focusing on mundane things like grammar and proper words and focus on the truly important questions: Grey or Black? Pants or Undies? That’s the stuff that keeps me up at night. And, between you and I, don’t you just hate it when people tell you “it should be between you and me”? When I tell them, “it’s almost exactly the same”, they are like “that’s an oxymoron”. Can you believe it? They hate slang but love to sling insults.
So, the next time you see an Editorial with a bit of a slang and informal language, don’t be so quick to take offense. The goal is to communicate, not sound like a robot. Let’s try to accept the ever-evolving language and lighten up. Express yourself, however you see fit. As long as it’s not illegal, of course!
Disclaimer: Any relation between fictional and actual people, living or dead, is purely coincidental. No dead people were harmed or disrespected during the making of this editorial. For people who missed a few points, please refer to the source (aka—my neighbor’s highly opinionated cat).