Reason 5: Personal Ads
A good 62% of my articles are actually just me trying to pick up on loose nerd chicks on this website. Only I tend to single out specific users on this site this is incredibly awkward for everybody involved considering I don't actually know the gender or sexual orientation of the users that I'm trying to hook up with. So I'm sorry about the awkward situations I realize its not front page worthy, no I'm not going to stop.
Reason 4: Dane Cook
That smug bastard. Mark my words he holds some of the blame, if not most of it.
Pictured: Douche
Reason 3: Leno Vs. Conan
It is completely my fault that I had mistook this whole late night Jay Leno Vs. Conan O'Brien controversy as comic book related news. So now I understand why all my crack reporting on this debacle never made it to the front page. Apparently the tonight show did not start as or has ever even been adapted into comic book form, and the 1984 Johnny Carson Marvel 6 issue mini-series I thought I owned turned out to be a complete fabrication of my unstable mind, which sucks because it was awesome. I will still, however, continue to write romantic Conan/Leno slash fan fiction.
Reason 2: Lady Gaga
What you might call "slander" I call disaster preparedness, I am speaking of course, of Lady Gaga. Apparently none of the nerds (I use the term endearingly) on this site care that there is an actual super villain among us. Lady Gaga wears awesome weird costumes, she has the title of "Lady" in her name, and...this;
She can shoot flames out of her friggin chest! That leather studded corset is a total super villain costume, and I'm pretty sure the catchy music is some form of mind control because I've had "Paparazzi" stuck in my head all week. So CBM, why do all my articles calling out Ms. Lady's super villainy get deleted, are we supposed to just wait until she uses her perfect... flamethrowers on a basket of puppies?
Reason 1: I've never actually written an article on here before
The most obvious reason I've never been considered front page material is because this is the first article I've ever written on this site. So let me start out by saying; hi I'm Josey Rodriguez and let me be the first to welcome you to Earth-J, the fansite which will offer up my unique view on the latest in comics, movies, and others.
Oh and a quick FYI I will mention Dr. Manhattan's penis whenever I get the chance, there's nothing you can do about that just accept it.