7 Things The New STAR WARS: THE LAST JEDI Trailer Left Out, Thankfully
The latest Star Wars: The Last Jedi preview was an expertly spliced together, emotional rollercoaster. We saw some new things, some familiar things, and thankfully, there were some things we didn’t see.
By Manx -
Oct 18, 2017 06:10 PM EST
Last week, Disney tried its best to tell us The Last Jedi is the Empire Strikes Back of the new Star Wars trilogy, even after The Force Awaken’s, sticking pretty close to the New Hope playbook, criticism. Here’s your standard Strikes Back checklist:
1. Walkers attacking a remote, desolate Rebel base: Check
2. Darker tone and music: Check
3. Rebels on the ropes: Check
4. Jedi learner trained by eccentric old man with a cane: Check
5. Dark Side searching for Jedi learner: Check
6. Mega Star Destroyer: Check
7. Dark Side hand outstretched to Jedi learner: Check
You’d think they’re just phoning it in, but let’s give Rian (who I want to call Rain) Johnson the benefit of the doubt. Maybe Luke saying, “This is not going to go the way you think,” was a not-so-subtle clue. The trailer could all be misdirection. We were introduced to some new stuff, “Aww, crystal kitties! Aww, Porgs!” But it’s the stuff they didn’t include that I want to discuss, and why I’m thankful they didn’t.
7. The Knights Who Say Ren.
No one can beat Star Wars at throwing up a character for fifteen seconds and having a cult form around them. Remember this scene from Empire?
My family joined the Church of IG-88 shortly after. The Force Awakens rekindled some of that magic with characters like TR8R, but most notably The Knights of Ren. Teased for ten seconds in a Force trip, we all wanted to know more about these badass looking chaps. But we’ve got little to nothing on them. I think it would be fine if we never hear from them again. Half the fun with these throwaway characters is that they become beloved because our imaginations do the work. There was a rumor going around that someone witnessed a sequence being filmed involving a big lightsaber fight between Luke, Rey, Kylo, and the NoR, where Luke force-pushes a few off a cliff. Sounds awesome, but we got nothing in either trailer even hinting of such a thing. Speaking of lightsabers…
6. Not A Single Duel.
By the second TFA trailer, we got misled into believing Finn may be Force-sensitive. And why was that? Because they showed us Kylo and Finn duking it out with laser swords. Only Jedi do that kind of sith. Of course it was misdirection, but the point is: we got some dueling action in the preview. With The Last Jedi, we have a lot of posturing but no brawls. Rey threatening a boulder doesn’t count. So if a duel happens, it’s going to be a total surprise and that’s rare with big budget movies these days. Kudos to Rain, for keeping a lot of this hush hush. Still speaking of lightsabers…
5. Give Luke The Green Light…Saber.
I was too young to understand the symbolism of Luke throwing his weapon away when he turned to face The Emperor. I said, “What the crap?! That lightsaber can slice and dice! Old dude’s defenseless, yo!” But later, we saw it swinging on his belt as he reunited with his friends for some Yub Nub, so I was relieved.
But this has been vexing me ever since Luke Skywalker came back on the scene. Does he still have ol’ greeny? I’ve read every article about Luke action figures and tried to see if he still has his iconic green blade. No toys have it. No scenes in the trailers offer any clues. There’s definitely a Luke/Yoda parallel with the whole cane thing. Yoda lost his lightsaber in a fight with Sideous and never bothered to construct another. Maybe Luke went through the same. He lost his when Kylo burned his temple down and never bothered with another. Whatever the case, I’m glad we don’t know yet and will find out in December. And about Luke Skywalker…
4. WWLD.
Besides the look of pure joy Luke has when reunited with his dad’s child-murdering weapon, these are my favorite expressions of his from the preview:
They don’t really convey the calm, cool, collected stature of Yoda on Dagobah, though. He obviously has PTSD pretty bad, but I thought he'd be made of sterner stuff. When Yoda failed and lost the entire galaxy and Jedi to Sideous, he took it pretty well, all things considered, "Go into hiding, I must. Suckers, see ya." All nerd lore I’ve read ranks Luke extremely powerful as far as Jedi go. I get none of that from the preview. He almost comes across bumbling. Hamill was reported saying he was a little taken aback about the direction Rain wanted to take Luke. Apparently Hamill had the same image a lot of us had, the Yoda-ly, powerful Jedi master. Time will tell if Luke flexes his Force guns. And while we’re talking about power…
3. Snoke Ends Up Looking Like A Twice Baked Potato, But In A Good Way.
To say I was a little underwhelmed by holographic Snoke in Force Awakens would be an understatement. I thought that he was going to be an uncanny valley nightmare when we finally get to see him in person. But looking at that, I think they did a fantastic job fleshing him out. I thought for sure he was going to be the baked ham we all expected, but the trailer robbed me of that suspicion. That looks more human than the exhumed Peter Cushing, who’s probably snapping in half in his grave right now, we got in Rogue One. Oh hey, while we’re talking about worrisome CGI characters…
2. How Can You Have Death Sticks If You Don't Drink Your Blue Milk?
Said to be the caretakers of the ancient Jedi temple on Ahch-To(gesundheit), I doubt my kids are going to rush out to get a figure of these Land Shark Nuns, but they might name their band that. We haven’t seen these ladies in action yet, so the jury is still out, but something about sea life in habits creeps me out. I suppose when we hear them talk, and it’s not, “Meesa Landa Sharka Nun,” we’ll have a verdict. It might have been cool to see them smacking Rey’s knuckles in the trailer, though. And since we’re on the subject of annoying characters…
1. Fluent In Over 6 Million Forms Of Douchebag
Don’t get me wrong. C3PO is an iconic character and some of his lines are my favorite, but the guy is an abusive, codependent jerk. When I saw New Hope as a child, I thought, “That guy’s being a real turd to R2D2. What’s his prob…Holy cow! He just kicked the poor droid! What a crotch!” He’s like middle management, always sucking up to the human CEOs and berating his droid coworkers and subordinates. That memory wipe must have taken a toll on him, because he was pretty easy going when Anakin first switched him on.
In Force Awakens, he essentially has a couple of walk-ons. And thankfully, there was not a hint of him in either of Last Jedi’s trailers. But I’m sure he’ll pop up at some point to throw racial slurs at BB-8.