Like anybody, I was thrilled to hear the news that after so many years, and what seemed like an impossibility, Spider-Man would
finally be a part of the Marvel Cinematic universe. Even if two studios had to temporarily share him, the web-slinger could now interact with all the great heroes the MCU has established onscreen. Better still, was his actual onscreen debut in
Captain America: Civil War. During the casting process for the new Peter Parker, I was pulling for the little-known Tom Holland as a perfect choice, having seen his amazing work in
The Impossible. So, when he got the part I was over the moon. And in those few short scenes in New York with Aunt May, I knew we were in for something special. When Spiderman joins, the airport battle, quipping with Steve Rogers, and asking “Mr. Stark” for tips, I damn near had a tear in my eye. They
nailed it. The previous movies came close in certain ways, but couldn’t quite stick the landing. Now we are finally going to get the quintessential version of Spider-Man!
It would turn out
Civil War was as good as he was going to be.
So, what happened? How could such a sure thing get so botched? Perhaps the Russo’s just ‘get’ the character better. Perhaps working in small doses just made Parker all the more appealing. For whatever the reason,
Spider-Man: Homecoming is a far cry from “Underoos” charming his way into my heart.
**FULL SPOILERS STARTING NOW **
This was an approach that the director said was going to be
like a John Hughes movie, but it’s just lip service because there is no real teenage social commentary, and outside of his invented fat friend, (who I guess is some sort of take on Ganky from the Ultimate universe, ugh), there’s never enough camaraderie between Peter or any of the classmates for it to feel that way. There is especially no chemistry with he and his crush Liz Allen. It’s a big failing not only of this script (since she is a key goal he hopes to achieve), but even when compared to romances of past movies.
[sidebar reminder: And not establishing Harry Osborne early on proved to be a huge mistake for The Amazing Spiderman series, because they didn’t have a relationship we could care about. Of course, these new movies could just never do Green Goblin, which would make sense since this is the definitive Spider-man, and he’s not important]
There was some fan trepidation about going back to High School yet again, but I looked forward to it because there are plenty of interesting obstacles that can come from this setting. The movie doesn’t capitalize on any. Tests aren’t a problem, competitions, dances- the trademark of Spidey’s struggle is finding out how he can balance his crimefighting with his personal life. That’s not an issue in this movie. When Peter skips out on his classmates’ debate,
they still win anyway. When he ditches Liz Allen’s party, it doesn’t really matter to anything, and even worse, after blowing her off at the homecoming, she’s only mildly disappointed in him. There simply are no consequences in this movie. Peter’s “dilemma” of having a secret identity aren’t a challenge because none of the choices he makes have repercussions. Even after fighting her Vulture father, Liz is written out of the story so Peter doesn’t have to face her anymore. There are a lot of easy “outs” in this movie.
The clearest offender here is the one right on the surface: Iron Man. Thanks to an aggressive marketing campaign, fans feared about how much Tony Stark would be involved in this story. While the man himself is only in a few scenes, his
presence permeates throughout the film; through the tons of scenes with Happy Hogan, all the mentions of the ‘Stark Internship’ cover, down to the fact that
Spider-Man‘s suit has A.I. just like Iron Man. Named Karen, Peter ostensibly has a better relationship with it, than he does his own Aunt May, who is barely in the film. The fact that Peter doesn’t have to make his own tech (it’s literally handed to him), or that he doesn’t have to take care of an elderly Aunt, Fat Ned helping him out as ‘man in chair’ (My #1 most hated thing about CW shows), the lack of fallout from his choices…A lot of this absolves Peter of meaningful development or problem-solving on his own, and I think it makes the movie lack heart. His desperate desire to be an Avenger is so superficial, that the closest thing to an arc Peter has is simply going from being a screw up to not being a screw up.
With such an obsession with being fresh, what we got here was loss of the familiar. A movie that’s new for the sake of being new, without much depth to go along with it. You don’t throw the baby out with the bathwater, but in their need to forego another origin rehash, Marvel and Sony lose the essence of what makes Spider-Man, Spider-Man: “With great power comes great responsibility.” There is no mention of this, and therefore, it begs the question why he’s doing what he’s doing in the first place. The movie’s answer: Because it’s fun. Forget about the guilt he bears, not wanting what happened to Uncle Ben to happen to anyone else, because it is all about the Marvel creed, ethos, philosophy, and modus operandi. Here in the MCU, “Fun” is sort of like beef- It’s what’s for dinner.
Truth be told, I am tiring of the joke-a-paloozas that have become Marvel movies (Thor 3 looks like it will be the epitome of this), and for better or for worse, Spider-Man has definitely been MCU’ed. There’s a joke or gag seemingly every 15 seconds,
even from the bad guys, and often undercutting many moments that might be dramatic or important. It wouldn’t be so bad, if it was actually funny, but a lot of it isn’t. There’s a whole scene with Donald Glover and Peter’s ‘scary voice’ that just falls flat. Most egregious, is one in which Ned is caught on the computer and off the top of his head, tells his teacher…
he’s watching porn….Crickets in my theater. It’s clear the movie has nothing interesting to say, it’s just a shame since there were some possibilities here.
The beginning starts strong enough, with Adrian Tooms’ contracting job outsourced, and he and his crew left without work. This was not only a great way to set up a sympathetic villain, but an awesome entry point for Spiderman movies to merge with this universe, based off tangible fallout from one of the MCU’s most significant events. Michael Keaton, though nowhere near as old as the character should be, is very good in the role, and the best thing about the movie. The film’s only other genuinely great scene is when he drives the kids to the dance, and works out that Peter Parker is in fact the Spider-Man, who’s been foiling his crimes. Keaton keeps Tooms sharp, and that makes him standout out from your typical blue-collar criminals.
Unfortunately, The Vulture himself is still a pretty one-note villain, and a lot about him doesn’t track, from his ruthless turn (which happens way too quickly and easily), to his twist about being Liz’s dad- a hackneyed complication for complication’s sake, because it didn’t change anything. Another cool Spidey villain, Shocker, gets even less, and Bokeem Woodbine (taking up the mantle from an unlucky thug) is in the type of henchmen role an X-Men movie might waste one of their great characters in.
Waste was my takeaway from a lot of this movie. Wasted set pieces. Spider-Man’s skillset should show us some of the most exciting action around, but nothing here is particularly exciting. A wasted chance to do something interesting with the new Flash Thompson. Inexplicably, he is
on the nerd brigade with Peter, and his “bullying” is way lame. Nelson from
The Simpsons is more intimidating. A wasted chance to finally, get a bombshell MJ worthy of her name, as an improvement over Kirsten Dunst. Instead we get popstar playing hipster in a non-twist that only muddies things up. Off screen reports say Michelle’s “MJ” isn’t
Mary Jane’s “MJ”, so if the real one ever shows up, to what purpose does it serve having two leading ladies sharing the same names in these movies? What was the point of the twist? It becomes meaningless. It’s Mandarin/Trevor back-pedaling all over again.
When I leave movies like this, I ask myself, “Could they have done more?” The answer is easily yes. This is how you establish standards.
Spider-man: Homecoming was a wasted chance to really outdo the Amazing Spiderman movies, as well as the Raimi Trilogy. But it’s barely only better than a couple of them. Sure, it was funny watching how useless webbing is outside of Manhattan. Sure, I never get tired of Tom Holland's wide-eyed wonder of everything being "awesome." But being back with Marvel, my expectations were high, and it’s a shame I can’t say
Homecoming fully succeeds in a stronger way. I should be hyped for the next one, but instead I’m worried about what they’ll screw around with next. I suppose this is the future, and this film may well be a “through the looking glass” moment for me. This is just what movies will be from now on.
Homecoming isn’t bad by any means, but both previous cinematic versions have more elements that are closer to what Spider-Man is for me than this, which is a lot more millennial/Disney XD in style and attitude.