With very low expectations, I settled in to watch the third Comic Book film of the season; The WOLVERINE. Is it better than X-MEN:ORIGINS? Well, one thing is for sure; people really want it to be.
SPOILERS!
The movie starts off good enough, with the promise of something unique from what we've seen of Wolverine previously. But slowly, and I mean super slow, the film gradually turns into ORIGINS 2- but only less fun and unbelievably boring. Watching the Wolverine is similar to watching Ang Lee's HULK. You're holding out for the pay off and then realize that this is it. The film is deliberately made in this lifeless fashion that will bore you to death while attempting to be different, more serious and artistic. Ang Lee feel aside, it's also like watching Superman Returns and wondering when the film is going to turn into a Superman movie. Then it happens! The film goes from one scene to the next of Logan waking up angry, to all out early 2000's style action sets. But let's back up a bit....
Logan is a prisoner of War, stuck in a whole when an atom bomb is dropped on Nagasaki. Logan uses his half-naked regenerating body to shield his captor, the young Yashida. Logan is cooked to a crisp in the blast, right down to his last strand of hair- which grows back to it's previous length when he heals. Yashida is very grateful and offers Logan his nice sword in which Logan declines. He tells Yashida that he will accept the gift at a later time. This scene sets our plot in motion.
Fast forward to the present, in a time where the X-MEN are no more and Logan hangs out with fake-looking bears and is now a homeless man. After getting into a bar scrap and catching damage to his right cheek, Logan meets his new sidekick; Yukio, which is Japanese for "Robin". Just kidding, it means "Hit-Girl". Yukio is working for the old rich man from the movie CONTACT who turns out to be Yashida who Logan saved all those years ago.
Yashida offers Wolverine a way for his series to die by sucking out his healing factor and using it on himself. He wants to be cured of an unspecified (or forgotten) chronic illness. Wolverine insures Yashida that he doesn't want what he's got. On this note, the genuinely grateful Yashida inexplicably becomes instant villain. He sends out the Viper, a snake-like mutant who sheds her skin for no discernible reason that I can remember. While Logan is having one of his on-going dream conversations with an Evil Jean Grey, the Viper spits one of Mr. Smith's octopus droids down his throat. The nanobot attaches itself to Logan's heart and causes his healing power to fade away.
Logan without his healing factor is not a groundbreaking idea, but it does make for some interesting scenarios, none of which are explored in this movie. Here, when he gets shot it just hurts and doesn't heal as fast.
After an excruciating period of boring scenes, the action kicks in. There are some nice, fast, fight scenes. Jackman is particularly impressive in a fight with a Sword wielding bad guy. Other action pieces include a super fake and ultra cheesy train sequence which is highlighted in previews as a major event of the film. A friend of mine went to the restroom before this scene occurred and returned after it was over. I assured him the Vodka and Popcorn induced diarrhea was probably more exciting.
Soon the finale to this bore-fest lumbers onto the screen like a fat kid dreading chores. Yashida has fused Transformer technology with Whip-Lashes Iron Man suit to create Robo-Samurai which in an unintentionally funny scene reveals Yashidas little head peaking out the over-sized suit as it's driver. Once Wolverine removes the nanobot, without the help of Trinity's little machine, Wolverine is better than ever. In fact he's so good that he has the strength to hold off the Adamantium robot and all it's truck-sized weight with his claws. At one point even tackling the Transformer off a ledge. At this point, much silliness ensues. Logan's metal claws are broken and he returns to using bone claws and he kills Yashida.
Days of Future Past after-credit scene hints at Sentinels and is easily the best part of the film.