Most Disappoining Movie Of The Year: The Wolverine

Most Disappoining Movie Of The Year: The Wolverine

Easily one of the worst CBMs of the Summer. Wolverine becomes a "woe is me" loser. Gimme berserker rage anytime, which was severely lacking in this movie. Epic fail on par with IM3.

Review Opinion
By cosmicman - Jul 26, 2013 12:07 AM EST
Filed Under: The Wolverine





I'm actually quite surprised by how many CBM'ers liked The Wolverine.

Now, I'm not that familiar with the "Wolverine in Japan Frank Miller storyline," that the synopsis basically whored out, but I can guaran-damn-tee you it ain't like the comic.

And you know, that's not necessarily a bad thing that it doesn't follow the comic book, but still, overall, The Wolverine was god awful.

Why? Let's take a look.

I was lost why Logan would give a bleep about even going to Japan in the first place, and when he got there, why he would care about anyone there?

Was he best buddies with Yashida? Heck no. Wolvie was a prisoner of war who saved the guy's life. And that's about it.

So Wolvie is all messed up over Jean Grey, and then Yukio shows up and shows off her sword power. Yawn! Yeah, I get it that it was all set up with the bear, the poison arrow, and the hunters to "get" Wolverine over to Japan, but still, it was a short sale. They didn't sell why Wolvie should go.

Oh, he's a soldier so you have to go.

Ehhh...

And then he gets there and magically falls in love with Mariko - which didn't come through on the big screen AT ALL. You only figured it did if you were familiar with the comics (but the argument online is that if you are a comic fan and didn't like the movie you are a douche - go figure). Also, it was rather funny seeing a 6'2" Jackman towering over the Japanese actors when Wolverine is really supposed to be their height or shorter (bad arse, Napoleon syndrome anyone??).

So Wolverine goes to Japan, and James Mangold conveniently takes away his powers. So why is The Viper there in the first place or even part of the movie? Yeah, Yashida met her here or there, but still: Why is she there? Now, talk about a big time missed opportunity, but they could have hooked that into Mister Sinister (with the genetics or what have you). Basically all it was, was an obsessed old guy who wasted all his money stock piling adamantium so he could steal Logan's healing power. Or was it that Fox needed to put out a Wolverine movie before the rights reverted to Disney? Where's Daredevil?

Silver Samurai was a complete joke and on par with what Shane Black did with the Mandarin.

SS is supposed to be a frickin' mutant who has the power to charge his sword and cut through anything - accept adamantium. The comic storyline saw Wolvie go over to Japan and learn - the frickin' way - the way of the Samurai. Not "put two hands on the sword to form blazing sword" - come on! It was absolutely terrible!

The characters of Noburo, Harada and Shingen were completely unnecessary for the film and did nothing for it, but confuse the audience about who was who. I mean, Wolverine get his healing power back and then guts Mariko's dad? And how about The Viper getting hung and then a big metal object (elevator) hits her in the head? LOL! And that's a good movie?

Fast forward to the end and the "big bad" is an adamantium Robocop. Seriously, folks! And did they explain how Ada-Cop was going to take Wolverine's healing power? Okay. Bore into Wolverine's bone marrow, but does that give Yashida the mutant X-Gene which - you know - is actually the source of the power? So we are supposed to believe that any mutant can have their power transferred to a non-mutant because Yashida's corporation "can do anything?" YAWN!

Story was just overall terribly done and not thought out. Where was Mark Millar? Hopefully he came on board after, because there is no way I would attach my name to this cruddy movie.

And how about the last scene? Obviously Yukio has a crush on Logan. So she sticks by his side as Wolvie tells her to go "up." So now Logan is banging Markio's "play toy?" Wow.

Best part of the movie was the mid-credit scene.

Time for a new Wolverine. My pick: Tom hardy.




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cosmicman
cosmicman - 7/27/2013, 1:04 AM
What was to love? It was barely "wolverine."
DetectiveCinema
DetectiveCinema - 7/27/2013, 7:56 AM
I feel like if you actually paid attention to the movie you would have enjoyed it more, maybe even understood it.

MrCBM56
MrCBM56 - 7/27/2013, 8:05 AM
This was the wolvie yet. The movie was AWESOME! My favorite of the summer so far.
RobGrizzly
RobGrizzly - 7/27/2013, 8:11 AM
I agree with some things, but disagree on others.

First of all, you're not familiar with the source material, so you can't complain about the lack of action, or Logan being "woe is me" when that was kind of the idea in the first place.

So if you remember, Logan DIDN'T want to go to Japan. He resisted a lot, but it is established that he and Yashida had this shared experience. They aren't strangers. They survived in a hole and were likely there for days after the fallout. I think Yukio's words about honor really got to him.

Agreed about Robo-Samurai, which didn't work for me at all. A shame, because up until that point they almost play it like a guessing game as to who the Silver Samurai might be. Noburo, Harada, and Shengin were all possible candidates, and I was waiting with anticipation. Major waste.

Overall I liked the more mellow tone, and when there was action, it was the most violent we'd seen Wolverine so far. Maybe the love story doesn't quite sell, but that is because Jean Grey keeps popping up and undercuttimg it, reminding us who Logan REALLY loves. I didn't like those dream sequences, and anything that constantly reminds me of X3 is bad.

But I'd recommend The Wolverine to anybody. Well made, broody, and killer bonus scene!
Taco
Taco - 7/30/2013, 12:39 AM
@cosmicman
I'm glad this trash didn't make the front page. And do you really think that Tom Hardy could actually make a good wolverine? Please...I'm guessing Glen Danzig would probably be your second choice. Suck it bitch.
fullmetal
fullmetal - 7/30/2013, 3:50 PM
I think this reviewer is 12 years old...
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