Welcome to part 4 of my look back at the live action Batman films. If this is the first of the retrospectives that you have seen then please check out my other reviews before continuing. Now I take a look at Batman and Robin, the second and thankfully last of the Schumacher Batman films.
HISTORY
While fans may not have been pleased with Batman Forever it did manage to perform up to speculation and warranted a sequel. Now if you can believe Schumacher he was told to do one more Batman movie designed for kids and to sell toys but he would be able to do a more mature Batman movie afterwards. This Batman movie would have been titled Batman Triumphant and would have included Scarecrow as the villain who would use his fear toxin as an excuse to bring the Joker back to life. Jack Nicholson was set to reprise his role as the Joker and it would have also introduced Harley Quinn into the universe. However this film never saw anything past preproduction because Batman and Robin completely bombed at the box office and is considered one of the worst movies of all time (it's been banned in several countries for the tendency to cause psychological torture in it's viewers).
Now this is definitally the worst experience I've had on this retrospective since I had to relive the terror of this movie. At least I'll be able to rip this one a new one then wash the memories of this movie away when I go through Nolan's movies later this week. So let's get this over with in my review of Batman and Robin.
1) REVIEW
I'm going to do this review a bit differently then the others in that I'll have one category for the actual review instead the usual 4 or 5 that I usually do. This isn't because I wanted to avoid thinking about this movie more (though that certainly helped my decision). The real reason is because it's hard to comment on this movie in a way that a million internet reviewers and fanboys haven't done before. Don't worry though for I have written a fun little fan fic below that retcons this entire movie and i think you'll enjoy.
So the plot (or what remains of it) follows Batman as he takes on one-lining "villain" Mr. Freeze who ultimately tries to take over the world. Eventually (in a move virtually identical to Batman Forever) another supervillain by the name of Poison Ivy emerges with a muscle bound idiot who calls himself Bane to team up with the Freezinator to eliminate all human life on Earth so plant life would dominate, despite how hypocritical this is considering she's working with humans to do this. On top of all of this Bruce and Dick have to deal with an annoying teenage girl named Barbara Pennyworth, the niece of Alfred who seems to have forgotten that British people tend to have British accents. Also Robin evolves into a whiny child in a man's body. Can Batman escape these confusingly idiotic predicaments with his sanity in check? I saw the movie and I'm not entirely sure he can.
As you can tell from that sum up this movie has a horribly confused plot with terrible pacing but the cast itself has some explaining to do for this stinker. George Clooney, who takes over the reigns from Val Kilmer, is definitally the best performance in this movie but only because his Batman tends to only be involved in the plot enough for them to include his name in the title without being ironic. Robin in this movie changed from a tragic character to that whiny brat you see at denny's only in an adult's body. Batgirl is introduced this time out only pointlessly changed from Gordon's daughter to Alfred's niece. essentially she plays the role of Dick Grayson from Forever only the circumstances of her becoming Batman's sidekick are much more non sensical. Gordon has about as much of a role as he did in Forever only now he's more incompetent and Alfred is the only other likeable character except he falls into a disease so we don't get that much of him.
As if that mess didn't ruin the film and comic lore enough, now we have this film destroying our favorite villains. Mr. Freeze is in this movie played by Arnold Schwartzeneggar and it's pretty much as bad as you would figure with the terminator playing one of the more complex villains in Batman's rogues gallery. Uma Thurman plays Poison Ivy and I'm not sure she read the script at all before coming on the set. There's also Bane and this interpretation really annoys me. He's basically like the hulk only can't talk at all and has a huge weakness literally dangling around his body (it's not what you think pervs). The funny thing about Bane is the fact that Arnold, who would have been able to do a decent portrayal of the character, was instead cast as a scientist who in the comics isn't nearly that bulky.
All in all it fails in every sense of the word. It doesn't hold up at all even with the times and you should avoid this movie at all cost. Now here's a nice little retcon that should make our memories of this horrible movie a little more bearable.
2) THE RETCON
So in what I will refer to as the 5th Batman movie it turns out that a character by the name of Steve, after Forever but before B&R, got high on drugs and stumbled into the Batcave. Before Bruce and Dick could do anything about it Bob stuffed Bruce in the vault with the Batsuits and drugged Dick and Alfred so they would believe he was Bruce himself. He then gave his other drug fuel friends equipment from villains of Batman that he hung in the Batcave and decided to play pretend like the children they secretly were. Steve even invited his drugged up girlfriend to stay there under the disguise of Alfred's niece (luckily he got sick before he noticed she didn't have an accent).
So by the start of the 5th movie the real Batman eventually escaped and easily defeated each of the drug addicts and saved Alfred but Robin was tragically lost in the mayhem. It's then that Hugo Strange emerged teaming up with Killer Croc and we got the kind of awesome fight scene Batman fans have been dying for.
There's my look at the horrors of Batman and Robin. Click like if you liked it and comment below on your opinion of this movie. Please turn in tomorrow for my look at the Batman spin off movie Catwoman and the reboot Batman Begins. See you then.