Batman V Superman: Worlds Finest (a rewrite of BvS DOJ) - Part 1

Batman V Superman: Worlds Finest (a rewrite of BvS DOJ) - Part 1

How many people actually read these things? Well, regardless, I guess its time for me throw my hat into the ring. Presenting to you my re-write of Batman V Superman: Dawn Of Justice. SPOILERS.

Editorial Opinion
By CrappyNappy - Apr 28, 2016 06:04 AM EST
Filed Under: Batman vs. Superman
Source: ComicBookMovie.com

I didn't like Batman V Superman. At all. So I've decided that, rather than complain about what I didn't like...I'd instead give my own idea's about what I would "improve". 

I've decided to split this editorial into 'parts' which probably means I'll get less attention on the 'follow-ups' to my re-write. However this editorial is going to very long, and will likley take me a considerable amount of time to write. The last thing I want is to start getting "bored" halfway through writing and then release something half-finished that, by then, might be irrellevent. Hopefully this motivates me to keep going. I have the ENTIRE story all mapped out in my head, it's just a matter of getting pen to paper (or...keyboard to....word....document?) 

 

Also, I'd like to stress...I'm not a writer. I'm an engineering student whose more acustomed to messing with equations than pumping out essays. I don't have experience writing screenplays and haven't written any kind of "fan fiction"before. I'm just a comicbook nerd with an idea and a bit of time on his hands. 
 


Things I will be removing


 

1) WONDER WOMAN




She will NOT be in this film. She doesn't really have a place in my story, and honestly, she didn't have much of a place within BvS either. So its not like me writing her out of the story really effects certain plot points as her only significant role was to fight Doomsday. I'm open to her being a cameo in the "After-credits" scene, but thats about it. 
 
2) JESSE EISENBERG: 



Secondly Jesse Eisenberg will NOT be Lex Luthor. It has nothing to do with his ability to act, rather I'm trying to go for a more "traditional" Lex. Cold, calculating but most importantly ego-centric. These are important elements to his personality, but the issue with Eisenbergs performance was that he was "all over the place" with no clear motive or reasoning behind his actions.



I felt like they were trying to recreate "Moritarty" from BBC's Sherlock. Whereby they reinvented that character as someone who was more manic and ecentric, supposedly a stark contrast from the resevered, calculating persona of the orignal Moriarty. The issue here is that, where that version of Moriarty worked, this version of Lex does not. It has a lot to do with Andrew Scotts performance, as well as the writing....which make that more "wacky" version of Moriarty work extermly well.

Jesse just...doesn't do it for me. It felt more like he was doing an impression of the joker/riddler if anything.  I'm not sure who I would re-cast as Lex Luthor. The cliche' and obvious fan-choice would be Joaquin Phoenix, but I'm open to any actor, as long as they have the look and feel of the Lex Luthor that I want to potray. 
 

3) DOOMSDAY: 



Need I say anymore? It's way too early to incorperate the "Death of Superman" story arc. We've only known this incarnation of the Man of Steel for TWO films. His death should have been earnt, it should be the focus of an entire solo movie. Doomsday was poorly utilized in the current BvS. He never gave me the impression of an "unstoppable" villain. And I hated how the fight had an abupt ending...rather than the incredibly brutal battle that we saw in the comics. 



THIS is what I wanted to see. It's what what most fans wanted to see. We didnt get it. Instead we got a rushed rendition of this story arc, with none of the emotional weight or visually striking imagrery. How many comics did it take before we saw superman die? Hundred? Thousands? He had been with us for decades. To see him die was heartbreaking. I didn't feel that way when watching this movie. So I figured, if you're going to do "Death of Superman"...do it RIGHT. Or don't do it at all. For the time being anway. 


Right, with that out of the way...LETS BEGIN! 



Introduction:






  • The film starts with scene's from both Bruce Waynes and Clark Kents childhood. Throughout this sequence, we will be switching back and forth between Bruce Wayne and Clark Kent. 
  • Bruce is at the funeral of his parents . We then see Clark playing with his dog and his family (Martha and Jonathan are both here).

  • Bruce begins to walk away from the funeral and then frantically runs through the woods. In contrast to Clark who's also running, playfully, through the fields with his dog (krypto?)

  • As he's running, we see a close up of Bruce's face. You can see the tears rolling down as he cries. This is in complete contrast to a close up of Clark's face whilst he's running, smiling and laughing. Generally much happier.

  • Bruce abruptly falls into an old well. Clark abruptly stops running as he approaches the top of a a hill.

  • Bruce struggles to pick himself up, he is broken, beaten, in complete despair. He gazes into the darkness ahead of him. Clark gazes into the beautiful sunset.

  • We see a close up of both their faces once again, as both characters are intently focussing on what is ahead of them. A face of fear on Bruce and a face of awe on Clark.

  • Suddenly a colony of bats emerge from the darkness and begin to swarm around Bruce. He's deathly afraid, and is overwhelmed (trying to shake them off). He crouches to the floor but slowly begins to pick himself up...facing his fear.

  • Clark stands proudly, arms at his side in the classic superman pose. We see the makeshift cape he's been wearing begin to catch the wind and flows gracefully.

  • The camera pans out, Bruce and Clark are in centre frame. They are both standing upright, both representations of what they will become. Superman a force of hope. And Batman a force of fear.

  • The music builds louder and louder and then stops as the screen goes abruptly to black/ The title of the film starts to fade in.... Batman V Superman – World's Finest



The importance of this scene is to establish who these characters are, by establishing where they came from. Showing their childhood, in my opinion, is an inventive way to introduce these two iconic hero's in a film where they're finally are on-screen together. By showing the contrast between Batman and Superman, the audience can understand why they would be at odd with one another, and why they would fight. Also, considering this is a film called Batman V Superman, its only fitting that the movie actually start by showing both Batman AND Superman. Instead of the original BvS where the focus is purely on Bruce and just another fancy “re-telling” of Batman's origin that also serves to set up a gimmicky plot-point.


 

Setting the scene:



In this world, Superman is celebrated as a hero. After the events of “Ground Zero” Superman helped rebuild the city, and the world knows he saved them from the callous and evil “Zod”. This version of the character is not a vigilante. In fact, he fully supports the law of the land and co operates with both the government and the people in order to keep their support as well as their faith in him. He's a much more public figure, speaking in front of reporters (including Lois Lane) to explain his actions and to inspire those around him.

He wants to be a beacon of hope, and he can't do that if the world is afraid of his immense power. But this unwavering ideology brings us to the big dilemma in the film....


 


Corto Maltese:



A setting like Corto Maltese is so fitting to the story I'm trying to tell, and I'm glad that there is actually a comicbook origin for such a fictionalised country. For those that don't know, Corto Malteese is a country that exists in the “Dark Knight Returns”. It's at civil war, and in that comic Superman is sent in by the US government to end it. The purpose of that conflict is to demonstrate how much of a puppet Superman is to the government, and how he is being used as a force for the United States.

Ironically I will be utilizing that conflict, and the relationship between Superman and the Government, in a similar way. However it will be demonstrate an entirely OPPOSITE point. Also I want to make it clear that Superman will NOT be a puppet to the government, however he does heed their advice (he doesn't want to be a vigilante)

In this world the Corto Matlese crisis is described as “one of the most tragic conflicts in recent history” that has torn the country apart and caused the deaths of thousands of people on both sides. It's divided the world, as various nations seem to support opposing sides...meaning that any intervention to support one side would be extremely controversial. A foreign affairs and diplomatic nightmare.


 


White House Meeting:



To address this conflict, Superman has been invited to the White House and is to meet with the President of the United States. It's publicly announced, and there are plenty of reporters and fans that are outside the gates waiting to get a glimpse of the man of steel. Superman flies overhead and greets the crowd, they all cheer as he smiles and waves to them. Like I said, this Superman is more publicly involved with people, helping to get rid of the notion that he's an overbearing “God” among them.

Superman and the President walk through the halls of the White House, Superman discusses his concerns over the extreme loss of human life. He fears for the safety and freedoms of the civilians that have been caught in the cross fire and tells the president that he wishes to do something about it.


President: "That's why I brought you in here, son. I don't want you to get involved."

 

Superman: "Excuse me?"

 

President: "I'm sorry Superman, but this is an incredibly delicate diplomati..."

 

Superman: "There isn't anything delicate about it! People are dying. By the hundreds, by the thousands, and that number is going to keep getting higher the longer we stand by and do nothing!"

 

President: "I didn't say we going to do nothing. No. We ARE doing something about it. But we just can't have you there. You understand the implications of you even being in that region? Your very presence could cause us a heap o' trouble. Remember you're representing the United States..."
 

Superman: "I represent the World, Mr President."

 

President: "Yes yes, but you're an American. I mean you talk like one of us, you helped rebuild our cities, I mean you even tell me that you've spent your life living in Kansas for gods sake! The way the world see's it, you're an American. You go gallivanting into that fight they're gonna think that we sent ya there!"

 

Superman: "What you're asking me to do....it goes against my conscience. You can't expect me to sit idly when there are so many lives at stake. When there's something that could be done!"

 

President: "But what could you do? Force them to make peace? You can't just wipe out years and years of prejudice and hate between these two peoples. Stuff like that doesn't just disappear overnight. The North and South have been at war long before this. You take away the tanks and the guns, well...they'll just find another way to persecute one another."

"Look, you can help with the relief effort. There are hundreds of refugee's fleeing everyday from that god forsaken hell hole. It's dangerous waters they're travelling across. You want to satisfy that conscience of yours, go bring those people some place safe."

 

*the President begins to turn his back to Superman, and turns his head slightly*

 

President: "Not here, though."

 

*Superman is clearly taken aback by that last comment. The president turns around and smiles, before seeing the look of disgust on Superman's face. His smile goes, and he averts his gaze for a second...*

 

President: "I think we're done here"

 

Superman doesn't shake his hand. It's quite clear that he's left the conversation on bad terms. But despite that last comment, what the president said does make sense. Now Superman is NOT a political figure, at his heart, he's a man out to do good. The POTUS, understandably, is purely concerned with the interests of the US so it stands to reason that the comments he makes are more politically motivated. However, whilst superman detests the Presidents politics (especially when it involves the lives of the refugee's)...he is still left with a “moral dilemma”.

What could superman actually do to end that horrific conflict? It's one thing to save the world from massive extra-terrestrial threats that come to wipe out humanity. But once those threats are gone...how can superman stay relevant in this world? What can he actually do to stop the violence and bloodshed that humans inflict upon each other?

Essentially the question that I'm asking, and the main theme of the film, is “How does Superman save humanity from itself?”


Editors note: I'm quite proud of that last line from the president. It shows that the POTUS isn't concerned so much with morality, more so than he is simply protecting the nation and its “interests”. I'm sure this line would bring in a LOT of controversy, WB execs probably wouldn't let me include it. But f*ck them, this is my re-write. This wasn't me being “political” it was me trying to separate the characterization of Superman and the president. By making Superman the wholesome good man and the president a representation of the “complex” world that Supes is up against.


 

END OF PART 1

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TheHero
TheHero - 4/28/2016, 7:48 AM
It's pretty good.

I like the juxtaposition of Bruce's and Clark's childhood in the opening credits. If that was done similar to how the opening sequence was done in the final film, it would have been awesome.

Also, while I understand your reasoning for making people like Superman, I still feel like there would be people against him. That saying, I love the dialogue between Supes and the President.

Overall, great job and I can't wait to see what you have next.
CrappyNappy
CrappyNappy - 4/28/2016, 9:14 AM
@TheHero - Thank you! I think I will try to incorporate the divisiveness of Superman's presence, after all in the real world you would certainly have a majority of people who are against him.

Later on in my re-write, Superman will do something that will change the worlds perspective of him. Which is why I wanted to emphasize how people idolize him now. Sort of like watching a hero "fall from grace" if you will. If only temporarily anyway.

Thanks for your feedback though! I'm working on the next part, so hopefully that will be up soon!
DerekLake
DerekLake - 4/28/2016, 4:47 PM
I'd really like your version... after a follow-up to Man of Steel that hashes out all the negative effects of the Black Zero Event. I think I like the idea of a world divided on Superman's presence, and an international climate that proves difficult for Superman to operate in. At the same time, I've been thinking that one particular failing of BvS is that it doesn't properly introduce us to Metropolis. The Metropolis of MOS could have been any city, because we only knew Lois and Perry. So while I think an international incident is a good way to showcase how the world feels about Superman, that incident should tie back to events in Metropolis (and Gotham).

I also think that it's perhaps too soon for Superman to be enjoying the broad popularity you portray. I think the circumstances of his public appearance would mean that by this stage he's still making himself known to the world and working up to dealing with the big stuff. People are coming around because he's rescuing so many, but I think it should take a little longer for Superman to get such close access to the President.

On the introduction, I can't say much because I don't know where you're headed with it, but I will say that I quite liked the less than idyllic upbringing that Clark has in MOS. I love the idea that Clark has to endure bullying because he can't use his strength to defend himself. Clark learns weakness and ostracism in that. I think it's a different but more meaningful contrast to Bruce: whereas Clark is bullied but safe, Bruce is privileged but endangered. And that dichotomy could really fuel how the two heroes respond to their crises: the death of Bruce's parents is a shock to him, whereas Jonathan's death is less a shock and more a heartbreak. Neither character has a naive view of the world, but they are informed by their traumatic experiences in different ways.
kong
kong - 4/28/2016, 7:16 PM
Really good. I kept finding myself thinking "Ehh I don't like where this is going", but then by the end of the paragraph or the scene I loved it. Really liking it. Only thing I would change is instead of having Bruce being raised by bats. Have them scare him, but then have him slowly stand up in a powerful yet kind of hunched manner as they part for him and circle around him like a tornado.

I do think there should be a more negative reaction to Superman as well, and he should be haunted by the events of Black Zero.

Also, and finally, I don't think a Civil War is a good conflict for Superman and the president to be split over. A Civil War is a purely political debate, and choosing a side would be a horrible idea, and your Superman seems like someone who would know that. If Superman wanted to help from a purely moral standpoint, he'd be happy to help refugees. A less morally subjective conflict would be better. For example a mass genocide across the country by the government to a large group of people based on religion, race, heritage, or anything like that (similar to the Rwandan genocide of the 90s) would be better. There's clearly a bad guy in that situation , and it's easier to paint the government as the villain in this situation because of their plain lack of involvement. If you really wanted to get controversial you could have Superman mention how the U.S. is involved in a civil war in Corto Maltese (as a reference to a European country), but not in Nyasir (a fictional African country from Action Comics) where there is plain genocide going on.

But this is your story, and I can't wait for part 2.
CrappyNappy
CrappyNappy - 4/28/2016, 11:19 PM
@kong - Firstly, thank you for the feedback! And I'm glad you enjoyed it!

I have to say, what you said got me thinking long and hard about the purpose of "Corto Maltese" within my story.

I really loved the Nysasir conflict, and I can understand what you meant about having a less morally ambiguous enemy for Superman to go up against. Honestly I found it difficult to decide which conflict helped better illustrate my point. I think both conflicts can work just as well in this story.

The one thing I like about a "civil war" is that, like you said, its morally subjective. There isn't a good or bad side, its just fighting. To fight is is human nature and its a part of humanity that Superman can't really change.

Superman isn't a politician, he doesn't care about supporting a side to win...he just wants the war to end. There should have been dialogue included in the speech with the president that reflects this.

In fact, I should have the POTUS explain that the US supports the South, perhaps because of their more Western Ideology. To which Superman replies;

"If I were to help them win the war...I'd be your puppet"

And the President agree's. The world would see Superman as a nuclear option that the United States could use against the world to support its own interests. Something neither Superman or the President wants. Especially since the world is currently somewhat divided over his presence on Earth (I agree that I should have included the negative crowd to Superman as well).

It's tempting to just disarm both countries and force them to make peace. But what kind of over-bearing presence would he be if he were to do that? What gives an Alien the right to dictate the course of human history? Also it's only a matter of time before fighting breaks out again. These two faction HATE each other. It's like forcing Israel and Palestine to make peace.

This kind of battle has no real answer. I think you could easily illustrate the same point with your idea. It's more of a personal creative choice to have it be a Civil War, to maybe illustrate moral dilemma of "saving humanity from itself" as well as the complex political climate.

In part 2 I'll be showcasing some "edits" to part 1, including a more in-depth and clearer discussion between the President and Superman about some of the points you've mentioned.
PrinceAwesome
PrinceAwesome - 4/28/2016, 8:06 PM
The rewrite itself has some good points but all-in-all, it wasn't as amazing as I hoped it would be. Don't get me wrong, your ideas have a lot of potential but I do not believe they have been used in the best of their abilities.

For example, the introductory sequence is good, and the pitch of showing both kid Clark and kid Bruce and their stark contrasts is a decent idea in itself ... but it fails and here's why. In this film, Man of Steel exists. A movie devoted to Superman's origin has been made. The scene that you showed is exactly the same scene the final scene portrayed in Man of Steel. Incorporating kid Clark would be kinda pointless since its predecessor film has already shown that side of Clark/Supes. Also, this film is supposed to introduce Bruce Wayne into this universe, there's a reason why Batman was given the most screen time in BvS and that was to establish an iconic character that is being introduced in this newly crafted universe.

I like how you re trying to reprise Superman's optimism and good will with himself and the public (and pay ode to the comics), but it kinda negates the consequences that has occured in the events of Man of Steel. I do not like how everyone seems to have forgotten the immense quantity of causalities that has been caused in the Black Zero event. Regularly, people would not take that in such a light tone. Parading Superman, this new omnipotent being, in the midst a cataclysm would not be a good thing in the perception of the public eye since there are people that have lost their loved ones in this event and there are reparations that need to be made. Superman needs to prove himself to humanity that he is here for the betterment of their planet despite the events that have occured before.

The only thing that you had something going was the conversation between the President and Superman. I like how you're establishing Superman as a character that wants to do good but he is constantly being held back because the stakes of the conflict is sensitive as it is, thus needing to heed to the authorities, but at the same time, follow his own track and his purpose. The incorporation of Corto Maltese also ties i exactly with how big the conflict really is.

The idea of there not being Jesse Eisenberg or having the Death of Superman is amazing. Although I liked how ballsy Snyder was to play it off in the film (and did so well, in my opinion) but I totally agree with you in that.

I'm hoping your second part fixes these things. It's a decent rewrite, but not as good as I hoped.

CrappyNappy
CrappyNappy - 4/28/2016, 10:11 PM
@PrinceAwesome - Thank you for your constructive criticism and feedback. I definitely agree with a lot of the points you made. One recurring point being made by people on here is that my re-write seems to focus on only one side of the spectrum and ignores the population of the public that would be against him (because of Metropolis damage).

I will try and fix that in my second part, but the reason I wanted a more "positive" perception of Superman in this movie is that it ties in with Lex Luthors motivation for hating him.

i.e. People idiolize Superman, who he thinks acts as a "god", and Lex feels Superman doesn't deserve people's appraise and should be feared. Jelously almost. Considering that Lex had to work hard to earn what he has, and has helped the city many times before (i.e. rebuilding Metropolis) yet Superman seems to get all the appraisal. That's just one part of his motivation anyway.

I'd like to mention that I have the entire film mapped out in my head, so I have a rough idea of where I'm taking all these plot points and thematics (especially Corto Maltese which will be a HUGE part of the story).

Thanks for taking the time to read and give me feedback. I'll definitely take what you've said into account when writing my second part.
HankPymp
HankPymp - 4/29/2016, 3:09 PM
You finally put this up! This was a great read. I like how you established that Superman set out to help rebuild Metropolis after his battle with Zod. How he wants to be among the people, and not be above them. He cooperates with the Government, but isn't a blind stooge. He has opinions and will express them out of the greater good.
It's a Superman that is very relatable, and one I can get behind. I can't wait to see how you handle Batman!
Great Work
CrappyNappy
CrappyNappy - 4/30/2016, 9:06 AM
@HankPymp - thanks! The Batman I'm creating will NOT kill, but he's much more brutal and rough in his old age. I also have a really cool finale battle planned that includes Batman MUCH more than the finlae with Doomsday in DOJ.

Picture Batman taking on an army (Lex's secret army with advanced military weapons/tanks).

CrappyNappy
CrappyNappy - 4/30/2016, 9:01 AM
@Spock0Clock what do you think of my idea's?

I remember you were telling me before how you were sick of people talking about the movies success as opposed to the movie itself. Even I was guilty of that.

As goofy as this may sound, I value your opinion the most.
fishybashi
fishybashi - 5/2/2016, 8:19 PM
Good stuff! The intro would have been so epic. BvS was such a disappointment. It was Hacked Snydered.
CrappyNappy
CrappyNappy - 5/3/2016, 12:47 AM
@fishybashi - Thank you! I want to continue with my story, since I have the entire film mapped out already in my head.

I'm still super buzzed from having watched Civil War, so I'll need some time to get the "marvel" out of my system before I jump back into DC haha. Gonna go watch it again today and I cannot WAIT!
fishybashi
fishybashi - 5/2/2016, 8:20 PM
Can the Flash just go back in time and erase BvS from our brains? WB where there is a Flash, there is a way.
HeyWait
HeyWait - 5/6/2016, 11:12 AM
@CrappyNappy - Hey Sorry for the late read... Liked the ideas, liked the eliminations and liked the contrast between Clark and Bruce. Only thing I would left out is Superman collaborating with the government, I never liked when he was shown as some government tool... He can talk and have good relations, but as you point at the end (or I think you do) - he should act his conscience.

Take care-

Thecowboy
Thecowboy - 5/17/2016, 4:20 PM
Brilliant ideas! Man that intro juxtaposing them as kids is damn near brilliant! Good job
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