We see Wolverine & Deadpool sat on different couches eating off of messy plates. The 6 o'clock news is on the T.V. in front of them. They're in full costume bar their masks.
NEWS READER
In superhero news, the vigilantes known as Daredevil and Iron Fist are to be awarded the Medal for Valor this weekend after facing off against an army of supervillains.
Wolverine points his fork at Wade, egg yolk dripping from the end of it.
WOLVERINE
I live with you, I should be winning one of those things.
DEADPOOL
Yeah, but you're the one who chooses to keep this living arrangement of ours a secret from... Well, everybody.
WOLVERINE
Wade, if you don't shut up, I'll start making you pay rent.
DEADPOOL
Oh no! Rent? However will a mercenary who earns billions of dollars a month ever make ends meet with the pressures of rent?!? Tune in next week, folks!
There's a moment of silence between them. Deadpool bites into some bread.
Deadpool, with a mouth full of bread, turns to Wolverine.
DEADPOOL
You ever notice how when Americans are laughing and then they take a drink, their face just suddenly tenses up and loses all expression?
WOLVERINE
You jealous of 'em?
DEADPOOL
Oh yeah, let's all make fun of the physically deformed guy.
Daredevil and Iron Fist are now being interviewed on the T.V. looking all friendly together.
Deadpool throws his arms into the air, splatting egg yolk onto the ceiling.
DEADPOOL
That reminds me, it's the anniversary of my moving in here next Tuesday!
WOLVERINE
So?
DEADPOOL
So, you wanna go out for a nice dinner or just stay home, catch a movie, and make passionate love to each other?
Wolverine looks at Deadpool with disgust.
WOLVERINE
I'd rather have a cactus rammed up my ass.
DEADPOOL
Same difference.
They fall silent again.
Wolverine mops up the egg yolk on his plate with a slice of bread.
Deadpool turns to Wolverine.
DEADPOOL
So, go out for a nice dinner it is.
Wolverine sighs heavily and deflates in his chair.
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