Based on Eoin Colfer's hit series of novels, Artemis Fowl should have been a launching platform for a must-see new kids/young adult franchise. Unfortunately, this Disney-fied take on the 2001 novel of the same name is not only as generic as they come, but it robs the viewer of much of what made Colfer's work so special in the first place.
The evil young genius you likely grew up fascinated by as an exuberant reader has been turned into a generic lead without any of the traits that made the Artemis Fowl on the page so unique. Alas, it doesn't help that Ferdia Shaw is lacking in any sort of charisma, something which makes the titular character the least interesting part of his own movie. He's admittedly in the early stages of his acting career and things could change a lot as he gains more experience, but it really doesn't feel like Disney has found the next Robert Pattinson or Emma Watson.
There are glimpses of some good ideas here and there courtesy of director Kenneth Branagh, with some lovely visuals (Haven City looks fantastic) and exciting action scenes aplenty. Unfortunately, Artemis Fowl soon becomes as shoddy as the vast array of dodgy Irish accents, with Judi Dench, in particular, sounding downright bizarre. The film becomes almost impossible to follow during the final act, and never really goes anywhere with a finale that feels more like the end of an overly long second act than a proper conclusion. Meanwhile, there are strange black and white bookends (and a voiceover) from an almost unrecognisable, but still extremely entertaining Josh Gad which feels like a blatant example of the reshoots which caused the movie to be hit by delays before it ultimately found a home on Disney+.
For such a bad movie, Artemis Fowl boasts a surprisingly impressive cast, and poor Colin Farrell certainly does his best with the material he's given. However, the surprise breakout star here is Lara McDonnell as Holly Short. The young actress is excellent, delivering an earnest and likeable performance which should definitely put her on the map in a big way. It's a shame that no one will want to watch a sequel after seeing this because seeing her character take centre stage moving forward would have been a lot of fun.
In many ways, it's hard to say what went wrong here, but Conor McPherson and Hamish McColl's abysmal screenplay certainly doesn't help matters, and Branagh simply seems unable to bring all the necessary pieces together to make a truly cohesive film. How much of that was out of his control is hard to say, but what does work, works really well. Kids are likely to have fun with Artemis Fowl (well, maybe), but fans of the books will be left frustrated, and anyone new to this world will be thoroughly baffled.
Lara McDonnell delivers a breakout performance, and Kenneth Branagh does an admirable job creating this fantasy world, but it's still not enough to save this mediocre and muddled adaptation of Artemis Fowl.