ARMOND WHITE BASHES CAPTAIN AMERICA....SO THAT MEANS ITS A DAMN GOOD MOVIE!

ARMOND WHITE BASHES CAPTAIN AMERICA....SO THAT MEANS ITS A DAMN GOOD MOVIE!

The famous trolling movie critic gives a negative review for The First Avenger. Don't be alarmed though. Its his way of saying its a great summer movie and worth seeing.

Review Opinion
By sonofsamadams - Jul 22, 2011 07:07 PM EST
Filed Under: Fan Fic

Yes its true CBM users. Armond White dislikes Cap. Good news indeed :) Below is his biased, sad and promising (since its negative its good) review. Enjoy!


'The giveaway scene in Captain America: The First Avenger is its misconceived segment where newly made-over Steve Rogers (Chris Evans) is enlisted to join “the most important battle field of the war.” It’s a World War II advertising campaign, a bond-selling tour (“Star-Spangled Man With a Plan”) that the moviemakers confuse/disguise as pure, silly showbiz. Yet the trite routines where a costumed Rogers (in red, white and blue “Captain America” drag), prances with dancing girls and mime-punches a mock Hitler are no different from the film’s elaborate set-pieces combating nefarious Hydra (Nazi) troops. This showbiz is propaganda gone confusingly wrong.

For example: When Steve Rogers becomes sexless Captain America and leans forward to kiss British allied agent Peggy Carter (Hayley Atwell), she says “Wait!” and plants a big one on him in a moment that passes blandly. Memories of Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom recall how Spielberg understood the romantic humor of such a prioritized pause and sold it. For director Joe Johnston, it’s just another shot to get in the camera. Johnston is a pro; he executes Captain America: The First Avenger better than the hacks who made Harry Potter 7 and X-Men: First Class—meaning Johnston’s scenes are visually thought-out and move rhythmically and efficiently—yet without any panache.

But Captain America lacks conviction more than it lacks panache. Several action montages look like trailers for Grindhouse, not expressions of ideas about heroism or Americanism. Johnston is simply selling the Marvel Comics franchise, which, sadly, at this stage of the cultural dumb-down, is more important to consumerist audiences than meanings or feelings.

Johnston touches base with Marvel Comics lore, going through the routine genre clichés of weakling-turned-hero (by a scientific serum previously misused by a super foe); anti-Nazi sentimentality; and retro-design artifacts. Dumb-downed consumers mistake all this for creating substantive characters and narrative. Since Johnston is fairly craftsmanly, it must be said that the true mindlessness belongs to audiences and critics who settle for such nonsense.

In this moment of convictionless movie-going, Captain America lacks the fun that comes with belief in the essence of its premise. The comic originated in 1941 as an exploitative but gung-ho response to evil, with its first cover depicting Captain America socking Hitler on the jaw! But in today’s pop culture, good-vs.-evil has been blanded into an idiotic shades-of-gray, and Americana has been made suspect.

Ultimately Johnston and Evans are selling an anachronism. Steve Rogers develops from a Benjamin Button-style CGI dork to a pecs-forward athlete with Ricky Nelson eyes—termed “a new breed of super soldier.” Yet the culture no longer believes in soldiers (not even when pitying Iraq or Afghanistan vets suffering PTS disorder). Audiences who yawned when Aaron Eckhart movingly enacted the WASP soldier icon in Battle: Los Angeles are now stuck with Evans playing a blanded out version of the hunkiness he already satirized in Scott Pilgrim. Evans runs with a dancer’s grace like he did in Cellular, but his WASP heroism here is not just anachronistic; it’s a white elephant.

Cinephiles who swear by Manny Farber’s old dictum about useless, over-budgeted “white elephant” movies should recognize this Captain America as a bloated summer epic whose hero wears unfelt sign, shield, stars and stripes. There’s no regard for patriotism or the flag, just loyalty to comic books—and to action montages (including a nifty aerial dogfight that prolongs the story with after-thoughts of Pow!).When all these bland Marvel Comics franchise movies blur together in memory, it won’t prove that they amounted to one great epic master narrative, but that they’re all indistinguishable.'

thoughts?
comments?
let me know!
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LoudLon
LoudLon - 7/22/2011, 7:14 PM
"...should recognize this Captain America as a bloated summer epic whose hero wears unfelt sign, shield, stars and stripes. There’s no regard for patriotism or the flag, just loyalty to comic books..."

Heh. The first half hour of this film dedicates itself to showing Steve Rogers to be the perennial underdog who, despite the odds being stacked ridiculously against him, nevertheless refuses to back down. It's not about "America, [frick] yeah!" It's about being a good and honorable person who does the right thing without regard to self. That's what Cap has ALWAYS been about, and that's the Cap this movie gives us.

This reviewer doesn't have the first clue what he's talking about.
Spidey91
Spidey91 - 7/22/2011, 7:33 PM
I hate this guy!
If I was Cap,I would beat the sh*t out of him with my shield while saying "how's my movie now?!" :P
Spidey91
Spidey91 - 7/22/2011, 7:36 PM
@LoudLon
"This a-hole doesn't have the first clue what he's talking about."
there,I fixed it for ya :P
TheOverlord
TheOverlord - 7/22/2011, 7:52 PM
Pretentious much?
djohnpi
djohnpi - 7/23/2011, 5:13 AM
Really: Are we talking about the same movie. I think there is some review dishonesty going on here. Cap was a great movie just admit it or admit that you do not like Marvel. JUST ME!!!!!!!!!!!!
sonofsamadams
sonofsamadams - 8/9/2011, 11:29 AM
...I don't like Marvel?

YOU DRUNK?

I just posted this for everyone's enjoyment.

Grow up.
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