I review Marvels: The Avengers

I review Marvels: The Avengers

The Avengers: An Odyssey of Imagination...?(Spoiler heavy)

Review Opinion
By Fuckyoutrolls - Apr 27, 2012 12:04 AM EST
Filed Under: Fan Fic

There came a day unlike any other...

Having been a boy of around 5 years old, when i stated reading the Avengers comics..I have waited a long time for this...the culmination of 5 single Marvel films in what is arguably the greatest team up in comic history and CBM history and the culmination of an odyssey of imagination.

As I watched the opening pre-title scene, rather reminiscent of a Bond picture, people in the audience applauded. This doesn't happen all that often in the UK...we don't do applause at the cinema.

I sat there, in the dark, illimunated by the light from the huge screen in complete and utter excitement.

Loki before his coming to eath recieves a staff, which can control peoples minds and blast energy from it, from an unknown Alien who also promises him an army. Indeed he uses it menacingly. First obliterating Shield agents and then turning its mind control powers on Selvig and Haweye. ( Although this is puzzling somewhat,in the Thor post credit sequence, Loki is already on earth and controlling Selvig...but in this film he's arriving on earth and can only control people through a staff. )

The cube is his goal and he takes it before its energy creates an earthquake to rival any on screen earthquake.

Widow gets recruited to help when shes tied to the chair like in the trailer, Cap from the gym from the trailer, Widow gets Banner in the Hut from the trailer. I expected it to be a nervy, tense, intense time but it all turns out to be a damp squib and Banner instantly trusts the people who have bene hunting him. (okay you can argue its Ross hunting him, but American Military overall)Cap and Banner meet on Helicarrier in probably the best scene in the movie. It coming out of the water and turning invisible. Simply astounding.

They go to Germany to get Loki as he's walking around in earthling garb beating people up, to get a retina can for haweye to break into a lace to steal irridium for Selvig to use. Loki then changes into his battle armour. Cap stops him from incinerating an old man who refuses to bow to another dictator wannabe. Then after Cap gets beaten down, Ironman turns up and repulsors Loki and it affects him big time. knocks him to the ground easily.

They are on an aircraft back when lightning appears heralding Thor's return. He takes out Ironman and grabs Loki. He flies of with Loki to a cliff where after words are exchanged, Ironman engages Thor in combat, Ironman - who in every comic is shown to have no effect on Thor and has no where near his strength level, basically beats the Thunder Alien (not God) Cap specifically states "theres only one god and he doesnt look much like that". Ok Ironman is at 400% but still, Thor gets a raw deal. After Thor hits Caps shield with the hammer, it turns the forest into a crater. Obviously showcasing the hammers power and the shields? NOT AT ALL. Just random inconsistancy.... They go to the Helicarrier.

Brief interplay with Loki and Fury...then a really good scene involving Widow acting weak and vulnerable and getting Loki to divulge his plan as he verbally attacks Widow...she then calmly turns around and thanks Loki for telling her that he plans to use the Hulk.

It's at this point the team engages in arguments, Cap is annnoyed that Shield want to use the cube to make WMD's, Banner feels used again, Stark isn't taking it seriously and is having an argument with Cap...Thor is blamed for Fury wanting to make weapons as apparently Thors arrival heralded a need for earth to be greatly more protected. Thor is angered as he has vowed to protect earth and asgard has no quarrel with earth. Blah blah...Hawkeye turns up and causes chaos, by blowing up the engine on the Hellicarrier...ironman and cap work to fix it.

Hulk transforms and chases widow...Thor then punches the hulk a few times with no real damage, uses the mighty hammer on Hulk, uppercuts him and the Hulk flies...no where...then Hulk punches thor through like 4 walls and containers. Thor then uses two hands to hold back ONE of Hulks...again the two powerhouses are done a disservice...Hulk is made invincible and Thor is made alot weaker than he should be...totally rendering their cinematic battle...rubbish. Weak and flat. THIS SHOULD HAVE BEEN AN EVENT.

Hulk is distracted by a jet and he jumps on it then falls to the ground.

Thor meanwhile is after Loki..but gets locked in the cage you see Loki in, in the trailers. The Son of Coul tries to help but is murdered by Loki. Thor you would expect would just punch through the glass, and make for Loki...wrong. He uses his hammer...the one that levelled a forest...and it makes a slight crack in the GLASS. Loki then drops the cage off the helicarrier with thor in it. You would think he would blow it up with lightning and then fly up to engage loki in battle? Doesn't happen.

Aww your thinking...he just flies up while pushing up on the cage? No. He uses Mjolnir and smahses out of it...but wait he couldn't do that a minute ago...HMMMM puzzling.

Loki escaped and the team are galvanised together by the death of the Son of Coul.

Loki has set up shop on Stark Tower to open the portal to receive his alien army, the Chitauri.

- this sets up a few battle sequences

Banner after having no control over changing into Hulk, nor controlling the Hulk...is instantly able to both change into and control the Hulk. Big turn around in the space of mere minutes.

He destroys a Leviathan which is a living creature covered in metallic Armour, which act as an aircraft carrier.

Thor fights Loki and gets beaten, he also gets stabbed.

He then takes out two Leviathans with lightning. Hulk destroys another.

Hulk and Thor then defeat one and after it, as they are both looking like it was a job well done, Hulk randomly punches Thor and sends him flying offscreen.

Ironman blows up a Leviathan from the inside of it...

Hawkeye has some good action scenes picking off targets in the distance as he is standing on a building in view of the whole alien army but at no point does he come into danger. The whole time he is on the roof...no flying alien decides to shoot at him.

Cap orders policemen to do his bidding, they question him as to why they should, he beats up aliens, they instantly listen to him.

Widow turns into some superhuman, because she starts killing aliens easily, even going as far as to stab one through the shoulder blades then uses him to control his flying chariot.

Hulk pisses over Asgard again as he engages Loki in combat...Loki states " ENOUGH, I am a God" Hulk then grabs his legs and slams him to and fro into the ground before stating "puny god".

Humans launch a nuclear missile on NY, Stark rides it into the portal, it goes off killing all Chitauri and he just makes it back through to earth as Widow closes the portal with Loki's staff.

Pats on the back..few laughs, then the team gets Loki. Thor then takes him back to Asgard.

Now the mid-credit sequence would normally have led to me having a Nerdgasm. Instead, when Thanos is revealed, he is a big cartoon head.

The movie left me underwhelmed. Totally. I do not know if it was the hype, too much of it, or that I expected too much, but I felt it was a rather bland and cheap looking film, perhaps, GRUDGINGLY giving credence to the fact it was not cinematic enough, ( I have attacked those on this site who talk of the film not being cinematic enough, while I still think you didnt know what you were talking about, it seems it was true) the score was also dreadful..i can't recall it ever affecting my emotions, cant even recall hearing any music save for Starks rock tunes. A budget that is thought to be around 300million dollars and not even a third of that sort of money looks like it appeared on screen.

The Avengers, to me, felt like Hulk and Ironman with friends.

Source material - the comics were obviously not thought needed for the characters and their abilities, power and strength levels. Literally felt like another Hulk vs.

the Alien army was so pathetic it was cringeworthy. No threat whatsoever. I mean totally pointless, so much so that there was ZERO DANGER. Seriously how can you care when you know it's nothing? I couldn't. I also wondered why the army didn't send out fighter jest to help the heroes, but the military thought it just better to fire a nuclear missile at the city first.

I am sorely dissapointed by this movie and I can find NO fault with the acting, it was great acting, just a bland film, some pieces were nice but altogether the jigsaw didn't fit.

Sorely, sorely dissapointed.
I am actually gutted.
6/10 Overall

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Coloso
Coloso - 4/27/2012, 1:33 AM
Sam Bathe is that you?

Small note, the budget was $220mill not $300mil. Hulk and Iron Man with friends? Not cinematic enough? cheap cgi? hmmm where have I heard that before...I wonder.

AVEN
AVEN - 4/27/2012, 1:37 AM
So, it is a mediocre film? :(
Coloso
Coloso - 4/27/2012, 1:40 AM
Seriously, if you didn't like it please state your own reasons why. Otherwise people are gonna think you're trolling because every reason you just gave for disliking it was used by nolanites over and over again to talk down this movie.

Just some advice.
ragmuon
ragmuon - 4/27/2012, 2:31 AM
i bet the reviewer's not a marvel fan... but guys, i watched the movie... for a fan it was awesome, and i guarantee it's the best cbm ever,
ModernAvenger89
ModernAvenger89 - 4/27/2012, 2:50 AM
Ignore this review. I saw the film yesterday it is brilliant. The action is great. Also very funny. If your a geek. An know this universe. This film is an onslaught of "Geek Tingles" down your spine, just awesome. The money is definitely on the screen. You will agree with me when you see it. The last hour and twenty minutes is pure cinematic action that would make Michael Bay cry in the corner. Trust me!
ModernAvenger89
ModernAvenger89 - 4/27/2012, 2:52 AM
Also. I love Nolan's Batman films and thought Avengers was brilliant. I have no bias. I want as much awesome as possible! :)
misner89
misner89 - 4/27/2012, 4:54 AM
[foo foo]
djohnpi
djohnpi - 4/27/2012, 5:01 AM
hmmmmmmmmmm I CALL BULLSH**
Fuckyoutrolls
Fuckyoutrolls - 4/27/2012, 5:05 AM
I think you will find, I am a marvel fan, and that if you can read, i do explain exactly why I didn't think it was the film it could have been.

I clearly state the reasons why I gave it this score in the review.

Not cinematic enough - I address that totally, it feels like a tv show...it is that simple.

Seems people can't read, it's in black and white and you go on any the Batman articles and you will see that I am forever layng into Nolanites...not Batman, but Nolanites.

Seriously, read the article, do not just troll it making things up. If you disagree with it, that is fine, but don't make things up. My reasons are quite clear.

Source material was abused, it was bland, the score was non existant - to me, not once did the music help give me a single emotional feeling. The inconsistancy with characters - really annoyed me.

I started reading avengers comics since i was 5. Im 24 and i still watch the occasional episode of earths mightiest heroes - that show portrays the characters properly and fairly consistently. This film did not.
Coloso
Coloso - 4/27/2012, 5:24 AM
Here is a recent post from Ror on his review of the Avengers.

"I didn't put them in the review (I should have but was still buzzing from seeing it) but here are a few more negatives: The score, very underwhelming, needed a much bigger, more rousing theme. The last few scenes needed a bigger emotional payoff..."

And here you are ZiDean, again, using something you read to troll hard.

"Source material was abused, it was bland, the score was non existant - to me, not once did the music help give me a single emotional feeling. The inconsistancy with characters - really annoyed me"

Troll, thy name is ZiDean ;D
Fuckyoutrolls
Fuckyoutrolls - 4/27/2012, 6:18 AM
Coloso...just stop commenting...Why don't you read my comments on other articles, I am certainly no troll. Also, I always comment on the score...not in a snobbery kind of way, but does the score help add weight to scenes etc. In this film it was missing in action.

I was dissapointed with the film, big time.

I along with my friends, went to Clydebank's, Empire Cinema, near Glasgow in Scotland, at 20:45 on April the 26th and watched a 2d showing of the Avengers.

My opinion of the film is clear to see if you can read.

I am not demanding people agree with me...but why are you constantly trying to convince other people that I am a troll? It's sad, you trolling to call me a troll.

If you disagree with my review, fine, I hope you enjoyed the film.

I did not enjoy it as much as I was hoping to. I thought some parts were nice, but that the whole thing wasn't great.

it was a 6/10 movie for me.

If you think its the best ever, write a review.

Fuckyoutrolls
Fuckyoutrolls - 4/27/2012, 6:23 AM
and why have you quoted my response to some comments on the article?

IN MY ACTUAL REVIEW I STATE CLEARLY:

"the score was also dreadful..i can't recall it ever affecting my emotions, can't even recall hearing any music save for Starks rock tunes"

You are so busy trying to defend a film from the review of a guy who doesnt get paid to review films, that you can't even reference the review you dislike.

Coloso
Coloso - 4/27/2012, 7:16 AM
@ZiDean, Avengers does not need me to defend it AT ALL. If anyone is on the defensive it's not me ;D

If you don't want people commenting on your articles/reviews then guess what? DON'T POST!

I can't take your review seriously when you just repeat ad nauseam all the pre Avengers release bashing of why this movie was gonna fail. At least make something up that you hadn't heard before, or hell just admit you really don't like Marvel.


Fuckyoutrolls
Fuckyoutrolls - 4/27/2012, 8:00 AM
You are a complete loon.

I want people to comment, SENSE. not ridiculous nonsense where they can accuse me of untrue things.

Again, people are free to disagree with my review, they may think the film is amazing. That is totally fine.
It is not my opinion.

I do not know how many times I have to say it, my review states clearly why I didn't enjoy the film as much as I hoped I would. It is that simple.

At no point have I said this movie will fail, nor do I want it to fail. I want all CBM's to do well so they keep making them and it wasn't seen as a fad.

I haven't had to defend my review at all in these comments, I have had to defend myself from the likes of you sitting making things up in your head and saying untrue things about ME.

Because I did not enjoy the avengers film as much as I would have liked - DOES NOT make me anti-marvel. Thats so stupid.

Your constantly attacking me, not the review.

If you don't like the review, write your own. I put out my opinion, not anyone elses.

I am a comic book fan. Plain and simple. My favourite happens to be the Avengers. So when I watched avengers and was underwhelmed and dissapointed, i was truly gutted.

You have repeatedly attacked me then you quoted my summary of my review and accused me of copying Ror. You never even quoted my article because you are happy trolling me. in my actual review the musical score was mentioned - you obviously couldn't see that through your troll goggles so decided that you were onto something as I summarised my view, TO YOU.

You obviously find it hard that two people agreed on ONE SINGLE ELEMENT of the film, that the score sucked. Yet you find it easy to agree with the majority that its the greatest CBM. hypocrite much?

this review is my opinion. Simple. You don't like it fine, but stop making things up about me.

It's people like you who put me off this site. When i go on the Batman threads and say Bane looks like John Motson, that I am annoyed the source material is pissed on, that brandon routh was a great superman in a bad film, when i say Michael Keaton is the best batman/bruce wayne, when i say Tim Burton captured the comic better than Nolan I am a Marvelite - when I say I don't like the avengers but enjoyed every other marvel film, i am a nolanite.


It's because sad people like you can't allow people to have their own opinion if it isn't in line with yours.
RealDCGuy
RealDCGuy - 4/27/2012, 10:16 AM
Im with yossarian on this one.
Fuckyoutrolls
Fuckyoutrolls - 4/27/2012, 10:49 AM
Well done trolls. Thanks. Comment on my review to say you havent read it then attack it...wow. Good show.

The Avengers wasnt that good. Simple as.

Im quitting this site, can't take an opinion being blasted because it doesn't follow the majority, I cannot stand you fruit loops who have to be so , just plain ugly, to people you don't have the foggiest idea about.

I am not a marvelite or a nolanite, i just like comics and their movie counterparts, and you people have taken the joy away. You cannot talk to anyone, why wasnt anyone saying, " yeah bro thats your opinion but come on when Hulk charges the leviathan that was pretty sweet" or something along those lines...no debate or talk just straight up hatred and lies about me. especially from Coloso and sharkknight. I love how his opinion is honest and mine somehow is not Knossis...Utter dreadful trolling on this article because i didnt like something as much as you seem to have done.

instead i get pure hate directed at me as a person, that im somehow a nolanite because out of all the marvel films this one wasnt as good as i thought it would be.

Well [frick] this, you guys have "won" you have managed to make me feel bad about sharing my opinion and I wont be visiting this site anymore.
FriendlyNeighborhoodSpidey
FriendlyNeighborhoodSpidey - 4/28/2012, 3:37 PM
Well uh.... Bye bye then. Sorry you feel that way I guess. Anyway, I can't wait to see this movie on May 4th!!! AVENGERS ASSEMBLE!
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