Iron Man 3 Review - worst Iron Man

For anyone who hasn't seen the movie: this post is a warning. Iron Man 3 is not the movie you're expecting.

I thought they would return to the terrorism aspect of the first movie as it was quite interesting, especially with The Mandarin character. But in reality Tony is actually fighting against a fat druggie called Trevor, and a fire-breathing Human Torch knock-off who was left on a roof for about an hour one night back in 1999, and was so píssed off about it that he held a grudge for 13 years and decided to develop the pointless "Extremis", which turns people into bombs for no reason. We also witness the excitement of Tony fighting against his arch nemesis: panic attacks. That's basically the whole plot.

There is also an attack on his home that leaves Tony helpless and alone in a small town, and even though he has an army of Iron Man drones that he can call upon at any time, he decides not to do this until the very last moment, even though in previous situations they would have helped a great deal, most notably when 13 people are sucked out of a plane and plummeting to the ground after an attack that is completely forgotten about after the "exciting" CGI-filled action sequence. The plane explodes killing everyone else on board but Tony manages to save 13 nondescript extras.

Tony also develops brilliant new tech in Iron Man 3 that allows parts of his suit to fly hundreds of miles and then land perfectly on various parts of his body without the speed and force of these large metallic objects killing him instantly. He also develops a way for his Iron Man suit to be controlled from a remote location, which seems to exist purely to give RDJ more screen time. This is probably due to his gay relationship with writer/director Shane Black who hired RDJ back in 2005 when he found him snorting coke off a shít-covered bathroom floor and cast him in the infinitely better "Kiss Kiss Bang Bang", Black's second best work after his role as Hawkins in "Predator". As a kind gesture for allowing him anywhere near a film set, RDJ asked/bribed Marvel/Disney to get Mr. Black in the director's chair for this third installment after Jon Favreau, the guy who revived RDJ's career, was promptly fired after Iron Man 2 for no apparent reason.

I imagine the writing sessions for this movie were drug-fueled parties after RDJ called up some of his old buddies/dealers and they had a good old time writing jokes into a movie when they were not needed and completely unnecessary. Black also appears to steal scenes from his yet-to-be-made "Lethal Weapon 5" screenplay and replaces the two main characters with Tony and Rhodes, and in some scenes Tony Stark and an annoying young boy we don't care about.

You know what makes me laugh in this movie?

The fact that the Mandarin is supposed this big terrorist threat for the most of the movie. He supposedly has the United States Military looking for him like he is Osama Bin Laden. Yet they can't find him. However one guy can somehow manage to track him down in Miami.

But you're telling me the "Most Wanted Man" in this movie who is hijacking the Network airwaves and "threatening" America...and he can't be found by the Military? It's not like Tony had a difficult time finding out where he was.

I mean I know there is the "Movie Logic" thing. But it's pretty hard to believe with any real logic put into it that One Man could find this guy with ease whilst the US government -- who in real life, found the real Bin Laden -- couldn't find this guy.


The movie ends with an action scene designed to sell as many action figures as possible and also features Guy Pearce breathing fire and cutting through Iron Man's suits like a knife through butter as they appear to be made of tin foil in this movie.

THOSE WHO LIKED IRON MAN 3, MUST BE FANS WHO ONLY CARES ABOUT ACTION, BUT NOT ABOUT STORY.

RATING: 4/10


Biggest problems:
* Aldrich Killian is the Mandarin.
* Aldrich Killian gave superpowers to Pepper Potts, and Pepper Potts killed Aldrich Killian.
* Pepper Potts can now join to the Avengers team because she has superpowers.