The Second Shift team of Earth One sits inside the headquaters of Earth Two's Justice Society of America. The Brownstone.
Thought balloon developes above Atom of Earth One's head.
(Wow. This is epic. A truly remarkable convergence of two distinct Earth superheroes.)
DR. FATE:
Notices the thought balloon above Atom E1's head. "Interesting. What an appealing way to describe the meeting of the two Earths. Convergence. Hmm, interesting. Doesn't sound awfully corny, correct? Perfect summation for this meeting."
Thought balloon developes above Hawkman's head.
(Yeah right. I need a perfect 'summation' for the meeting of my body with Phantom Girl's body. Something epic and classy.....like, Big Bang Theory.....did I set my DVR? Man, Phantom Girl is stacked, I like boobs.)
STARGIRL:
"Gross, Hawkman."
HAWKMAN:
"Oh, I'm sorry Star. Must be a generational thing. Here."
Thought balloon developes above Hawkman's head.
(I like bewbs!! So cool. So fresh. So amazing. So Cawkman.)
ZATANNA:
"Stargirl, allow me to tell you something, I only wished had been told to me. Stay as far away as possible from Hawkman. He is massively infantile and crude."
HAWKMAN:
"C'mon Zee, infantile? You only use that word in the bedroom with John. Ooooh HA! Burn!"
ZATANNA:
"All the proof you need. John is a wonderful boyfriend in everyway that matters."
CONSTANTINE:
Pulls out and lights a cigarette. Coughing fit. "Thanks love."
JAY GARRICK:
"Ok....that's quite enough chit chat. Time to get down to brass tax. We know that Zoom and Sivana have combined forces and they have a viable plan for merging the two Earths, and in that process, destroying the two planets. Now, we also know they have recruited the assistance of your Earth One Joker, Bane, Cheetah, and Black Manta. What can you tell us about them?"
BLACK LIGHTNING:
"Really thought we were done with them after that whole outer space stuff. Let's see, man, Joker's certifiable. Manta's deadly. Bane is....well, he's brutal and rather eloquent. And Cheetah....Cheetah's....ahhh"
HAWKMAN:
"She's one fine pus.....cat! Uh, yeah...she's very catty. And she scrathes."
BLACK LIGHTNING:
"Hell she scrathes...really leaves a mark."
Thought balloon developes above Atom of E1's head.
(Sure could use some cat scratch fever.)
CONSTANTINE:
"Plus, when they all get together, they make a pretty good Rolling Stones cover band."
Thought balloon developes above Stargirl's head.
(Don't want to look dumb, but how do you cover band a magazine?)
CONSTANTINE:
"Bloody hell....Star, you cannot be serious, can you? You've never heard of the greatest band from England? Satisfaction? Paint it Red?"
STARGIRL:
"Oh...so what? They're some oldie times version of One Direction?"
CONSTANTINE:
"Can I put in my resignation? Never in the history of music, would One Direction be compared or likened to the Rolling Stones. Good grief."
Thought balloon developes above Stargirl's head.
(Jeez, I didn't mean to make him talk like Charlie Brown. He's right though. I don't think these Rolling Stones could possibly compare to One Direction.)
HOURMAN:
"Enough!!! What is this? Is this all you people do? Talk about sex and music? What kind of Earth is yours? Are you not superheroes there?"
ATOM OF E1:
"Oh....we got a first timer here. Of course we're superheroes. The greatest heroes from Earth One in fact."
CONSTANTINE:
"Yeah mate, we're the Rolling Stones of superheroes back on Earth One."
STARGIRL:
"Or....you could say we're the One Direction of Earth One superheroes."
Thought balloon developes above Hawkman's head.
(Wonder if Phantom Girl is into medeival weaponry? How did Garrick say it, we need to get down to ass tax. Where the hell is my mace by the way? )
PHANTOM GIRL:
"Hawkman, I am not going to freak out about your crude thoughts. Besides when you dress the way I do, you tend to get all sort of odd thoughts. Nothing is that shocking to me anymore."
ZATANNA:
"No girl, what's shocking is that Hawkman even has thought balloons. HA!....oh, burn!"
Thought balloon developes above Black Lightning's head.
(I bet I could show her something shocking. Pun fully intended. So unique. So enlightening.)
HOURMAN:
"Good lord! How could we've gotten so damn side tracked and off topic. Our worlds are in grave danger."
ATOM OF E1:
"What's up your butt? Something else going on here? We always deal with danger."
CONSTANTINE:
"Right mate? Just last month me and Zee had our own brush of grave danger. Took the test you hope to fail."
DR. FATE:
"Listen! We have a plan of action. I know the location of the Earth One fiends and Sivana. There's a warehouse across town. Now, we just need you guys to wear these communication devices, you put them in your ear. Is everyone ready? Lets go."
Meanwhile, across town in an abandoned warehouse, Zoom, Joker, Bane, Black Manta, and Cheetah appear to be waiting for someone. Or something.
JOKER:
"...so she keeps calling. Nonstop. Some BS about giving her a virus! HAHAHA, can you imagine? A Joker virus? Ridiculous..."
BANE:
"Perhaps! My humorous friend, she may be correct. Have you ever given thought to seeing a phycisan? You are one of the most pale skinned people I have ever seen."
BLACK MANTA:
"One of??? Who do you hang out with Bane?"
CHEETAH:
"Hehehe. You didn't know Manta? Bane's a hopeless Goth."
JOKER:
"The last doctor I saw, ended up falling in love with me. You could say it was mad love.....huh? You rubes, I'm playing to a half retarded audience!"
BLACK MANTA:
"It does amaze me, how did you ever land a woman as good looking as Harley?"
JOKER:
"Jokes! Jokes and spaghetti! The ladies like a man that can cook."
BANE:
"Perhaps! That is where I failed in my relationship with Talia. On our first romantic encouter, I took her out to McDonalds. Great nuggets. Both McDonalds and Talia. Alast, she would go on to leave me for a billionaire."
BLACK MANTA:
"Just goes to show you what truly gets the ladies hot and bothered. Money."
CHEETAH:
"So true, Manta. So true."
JOKER:
"Hmm, maybe I should stop burning half of my money. Nah, I like cheap things."
ZOOM:
"Would you losers shut the hell up! Get ready, just got word they're on they way."
CHEETAH:
"Really getting tired of you Zoom."
Suddenly, one of the walls of the warehouse comes crumbling down as the two Second Shift teams enter the warehouse.
JOKER:
"Alright now, you have got to do it Manta! Please!!!! You're the most Ackbar-like of us!!"
BLACK MANTA:
Sighs. "Very well. ITS A TRAP!!"
ATOM OF E1:
"What's that..."
ATOM OF E2:
"You must know, we had no other option. Well, I suppose failure was an option at one point, but then Hourman was all like 'failure is not an option!' You see, they got our loved ones. Sorry guys."
The Second Shift team simultaneously begins to convluse as they are tased and fall to the floor unconcious.
HOURMAN:
"Told you those 'comm devices' would work. OK, Zoom! Where's our families?"
ZOOM:
"Not so fast!"
JOKER:
"HAhahaha. You really want to go with that line Zoom? Right guys?"
CHEETAH:
"Plus it's a total set up for, 'that's what she said!'"
ZOOM:
"Ugh....idiots and losers. Where's the treadmill, Garrick?"
JAY GARRICK:
Reveals an envelope. "It's location is on this. First, where are our loved ones?"
Zoom moves at super speed and quickly snatches the envelope from Garrick's hand.
ZOOM:
"You really didn't think that was going to work, did you? Kill them, kill them all!"
Dr. Fate causes large amounts of smoke to fill the warehouse creating a diversion. In the ensuing distraction the Second Shift team of Earth Two is quickly carried away from the scene by Jay Garrick. Hawkman comes to conciousness and is able to grab Stargirl and fly through the roof. Constantine also wakes up and he creates a portal and carries Zatanna through it with him.
ZOOM:
"Ah hell!! You losers let some of them get away! I have no idea why Sivana wanted your help. Let's just get the rest together, you losers get them to Sivana's lab, I'll go and grab the Cosmic Treadmill."
Thanks for reading everyone. Stay tuned for part four!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!