TheCritic17 review's G.I. Joe: Rise of the Cobra!

TheCritic17 review's G.I. Joe: Rise of the Cobra!

Spoilers are in this review. TheCritic17 reviews "G.I. Joe: Rise of the Cobra." Was it good, or was it bad? Read and find out...

Review Opinion
By CRITIC17 - Aug 07, 2009 08:08 PM EST
Filed Under: G.I. Joe
Source: TheCritic17

Spoilers are in this review. To start off my first review on this site, lets say this: I liked the movie. So please, humor and read the review. Leave bad comments if you must. This is my opinion. I know most of you will disagree with what I have to say (except for you LEEE). Allright, here we go.
The film had a general plot. Bad guys (Cobra Command) want to destroy the world. Good guys (Joes) want to stop them. Channing Tatum and Marlon Wayans play the film's main characters: Duke (Tatum) and Ripcord (Wayans). Duke has an interesting and yet boring past. Ripcord is actually funny. I liked the humor that Wayans brought to this movie. It sorta, took you away from what was going on. It said this: When something bad is happening, just don't lose your cool, everything will work out. That is how I percieved Ripcord's humor. Dennis Quaid had a good role, but hardly and screentime as General Hawk. His role would have been better, if he were actually in the movie more than 15 minutes (not accurate time, but a good guess). Rachel Nichols is cool (but nice) as Scarlett. Sienna Miller is quite good as Baroness (nice as well). Chris Eccleston played a cliche role as Destro. He was merely ok. I'm not gonna bore you guys by going over every actor and actress, I will just look at the two best ones. Lee Byung-hun played is good as Storm Shadow (about as good as Sienna's role, who I liked). But the best was Ray Park as Snake-Eyes. I have created a new award: Best performance by an actor who never says a word (no kidding). This award goes to: RAY PARK! He played a fantastic role as the mute Snake-Eyes.
Now on to the story. The past events were good (even the ones with Duke, though the cliche funeral scene/riding a motorcycle off into the rain was boring). The best was Snake-Eyes and Storm Shadow, who were at odds from when they first met. Now, Destro's plan was a cliche, but the cliff-hanger ending (2-5 more sequels anyone?) was pretty good, but expected. I figured Baroness would switch to the good-guys. Though the final battle was good, the whole underwater ship battles reminded me a lot of Star Wars. Sure we've seen, "the nano-bits that eat metal thing," before (thats how Destro will destroy the world), but it worked for the film. Overall the story was pretty good.
Finally, I speak of the special effects and fight scenes. I liked the effects. The fights were great (especially the last one between Snake and Storm). They were well choreographed. The Effiel Tower falling down was also cool. So the effects were well down.
Now for the score. I rate all my movies out of four stars. I liked this movie. The actors roles were good (sorry I didn't mention everyone, but that would have taken forever, and this review is long enough), some could have been improved (Quaid and at time Tatum), but still I liked them. The story was good as well. I liked (and loved) the effects and fight scenes. So I award this movie: three and a half stars out of four. Sorry if I just offended anyone by liking this movie. I never got a chance to read the "G.I. Joe: A Real American Hero" comics, or watch the tv show. I play with the toys (who hasn't?), but I did read up on the show/comics online. The characters seemed pretty faithful (at times) to their characters. Well, that's it. Two thumbs up for this film.

3 and a half stars out of 4

-TheCritic17-

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CRITIC17
CRITIC17 - 8/7/2009, 8:35 PM
What the heck! I indented at every paragraph! Well... whatever...

@LEEE: So what do you think?
soccerjoshc
soccerjoshc - 8/7/2009, 10:16 PM
Where's Leee777?
AshleyWilliams
AshleyWilliams - 8/7/2009, 10:19 PM
i think my review will be similar to this
CRITIC17
CRITIC17 - 8/7/2009, 10:26 PM
@soccer: Either his computer blew up, he's sleeping, or is still upset at Ackles winning, though, depending on where he lives, he could be seeing G.I. Joe right now.

@NewAvenger: Awesome!
CRITIC17
CRITIC17 - 8/7/2009, 10:27 PM
@LEEE: Where are you???
soccerjoshc
soccerjoshc - 8/7/2009, 10:29 PM
@thecritic: lol
BrutalDuke
BrutalDuke - 8/8/2009, 12:33 AM
as much trouble as he was complaining of with his pc the other night i bet it blew up.

BrutalDuke
Wadey09
Wadey09 - 8/8/2009, 1:01 AM
don't fret about having an opinion. if anything be proud. i loved tf2 and i really liked wolverine.
i will probably even like this movie despite all the bad press.

@BrutalDuke: LOL
LEEE777
LEEE777 - 8/8/2009, 6:06 AM
im here BOYS!!! ; D

CRITIC @ Cant comment on the review dude, not yet! (Spoilers).

Will be seeing JOE sat afternoon dude!!!

But 3 an a half out 4 means excellent in my book!!!

Glad you loved it!

Sorrerjosh @ Im going to yours next! ; )

GI JOE = DARK HORSE OF THE SUMMER!!!

CRITIC @ Thanx for the mention dude! ; D

Great 1st article!!! I like the thumbs up & down lil pic up top, perfect for ya!
superdog
superdog - 8/8/2009, 6:49 AM
3 1/2 stars out of four? Seriously? I'm not gonna bash you for your review everyone opinions and taste are different. But even someone who liked the movie shouldn't give it that high of score. That should be reserved for movies that are close to perfection. This movie had it's moments, but far from close to perfection. It didn't bother you that ice floats? Or that you don't wear sunglasses in the rain? Little things like that are just lazy and cliched storytelling. And I'm sorry I like Dennis quad alot but he was horrible in this. At the end when he delivered that line "we've got more joes out there to save" someone next to me actually laughed out loud. He was even worse than Tatum. But im glad you enjoyed it. Im sure there will be many that do. :)
CRITIC17
CRITIC17 - 8/8/2009, 7:23 AM
@LEEE: Thanks man. You'll like the movie. Glad you like the picture.

@Superdog: Thanks for the opinion, I didn't like Quaid in this film either, but Snake-Eyes seemed to really improve it for me. You got a point about the ice floats thing (Ebert said the same thing). Well, again thanks for the review.

@Brutal: Lol

@Ozy: I looked at it, I will try to play the first Halo and see if I like the series. Good casting choices! :)

Allright everyone, be back tomorrow evening to talk again.
superdog
superdog - 8/8/2009, 10:53 AM
Sideswipe@ yes. Spoiler. At the end of the movie they blow uptnthe ice pack above the underwater cobra base and the ice SINKS and destroys the base. Coba commander even says "I'll bury it in ice". It annoyed me so much i actually said out loud "ice floats" and people laughed. It was ridiculous.
MarkCassidy
MarkCassidy - 8/8/2009, 12:58 PM
Most people laughed at my cinema when Rex spins around and says "Call me...COMMANDER!"..and the music goes,,den den deeeeen! Bollocks.

Don't you review out of 5 stars critic?
superdog
superdog - 8/8/2009, 8:04 PM
STOP COLLABORATE AND LISTEN

ror@ nobody in my theatre was laughing at that point anymore, they were looking at thier watches.
Xfactorz
Xfactorz - 8/8/2009, 10:58 PM
Roc was a blast and there are many people that enjoyed this film for all it's fun. Don't feel that you have to apologize to anyone for giving a positive review of something you enjoy! If they don't agree with you...who cares, everyone is entitled to their opinion and I guarantee you that most of the naysayers could care less about blasting something you enjoy.

I'm looking forward to the sequel!
TheBumblingIdiot
TheBumblingIdiot - 8/9/2009, 5:15 AM
thedarkknight666 has seen this movie for someone who grew up watching GI Joes thundercats silverhawks ect i was very weary i found it to be like the cartoons fun lots of action and at times campy i liked it now only if they would do a silverhawks movie. Hay dose eany one remember a cartoon i cant remember its name or evrey thing about it but it had guys in diffrent colored armor that had hollograms of animals on there chest? If anyone dose can you tell me thanks. TheCritic17 Xfactorz right i personaly liked the phantom Billy Zane rocks and LEEE777 so do you will some of the time joking lol for thedarkknight hath spoken
TheBumblingIdiot
TheBumblingIdiot - 8/9/2009, 3:24 PM
dellamorte1872 bravestar loved it his hores was cool teabage thank u does any one remember the Rambo Cartoon
superdog
superdog - 8/9/2009, 3:24 PM
Visionaries.......damn you teabag you beat me to it. Channing Tatum for lead visionary guy.
CRITIC17
CRITIC17 - 8/9/2009, 5:06 PM
@Rorschach: I just like four stars instead of five

@dellamorte1872: Thanks for the mean comment. ;) I'm sorry you think that about me, sorry you didn't like my review. But everyone has a opinion right?
CRITIC17
CRITIC17 - 8/9/2009, 5:41 PM
@Roschach: I didn't like the look of Cobra Commander, I figured he would do the whole "You will call me COMMANDER!" thing.
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