ALIEN: COVENANT Honest Trailer Makes It Official: There Are Now More Bad ALIEN Movies Than Good Ones

ALIEN: COVENANT Honest Trailer Makes It Official: There Are Now More Bad ALIEN Movies Than Good Ones

“Maybe they aren’t colonists. Maybe Earth has a secret program to deport the world’s biggest morons.” The Screen Junkies team pull no punches in their hilarious take-down of Ridley Scott's Alien: Covenant.

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By MarkCassidy - Aug 09, 2017 04:08 AM EST
Filed Under: Alien
It's probably a bit harsh to call Alien: Covenant a bad movie, but it was undoubtedly a disappointing experience for many.

In their latest Honest Trailer, Screen Junkies focus on the most divisive elements of Ridley Scott's return to the classic sci-fi horror film series he began with the original Alien back in 1979. There's a lot of emphasis placed on flutes ("I'll do the fingering"), and on how stupidly the crew of The Covenant behave at pretty much every given opportunity.

Check it out below, and be sure to share your thoughts on Alien: Covenant in the usual place.

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Kryptonmatters
Kryptonmatters - 8/9/2017, 4:54 AM
He's not wrong. Scott, you got one more movie to finish this. Once you're done, let Blompkamp direct his Alien 5. I've seen Zygote. It's a better Alien movie that whatever the hell this was. Hell I'll do it. I got ideas to jump start a new AVP shared universe.
Kryptonmatters
Kryptonmatters - 8/9/2017, 4:54 AM
@Kryptonmatters - Also first
Floke
Floke - 8/9/2017, 4:56 AM
@Kryptonmatters - After watching Zygote, my first thought was, screw Alien, let him do Dead Space!
CaptainElrond
CaptainElrond - 8/9/2017, 4:57 AM
@Kryptonmatters - I wouldnt have mind, if he at least finished shaws story, and not allow the moron moron brigade to set up a colony.
Kryptonmatters
Kryptonmatters - 8/9/2017, 5:04 AM
@SkrullCipher - After I watch everything on the blu-ray release, I will more than likely place this as non-canon along with Alien 3, Alien Resurrection, and both AVP movies.
CaptainElrond
CaptainElrond - 8/9/2017, 5:08 AM
@Kryptonmatters - You know, the characters in avp were smarter than these guys. They decided they needed training, were ready to take there time, took steps back, and actually stopped to read the walls.

In anycase, im going to write some weird fanfiction script to make myself better.

It will have living shaw, and daniels, and lots of big strong sexy engineers........
Kryptonmatters
Kryptonmatters - 8/9/2017, 5:10 AM
@SkrullCipher - My will be a proper AVP where the lead Marines have connections to both franchises, and it will lead to new movies starring both of them. Also Alien 3 never happened.
CaptainElrond
CaptainElrond - 8/9/2017, 5:12 AM
@Kryptonmatters - You should read some of the comics, "deadliest of the specieas" and "civilised beasts" and "three world war" should adapted to movies.

I still think they should have had easter egg to predators in covenant
Kryptonmatters
Kryptonmatters - 8/9/2017, 5:16 AM
@SkrullCipher - Tell that to Ridley Squat. He thinks AVP is the dumbest idea ever. Honestly I feel like the only reason why he's directing Alien again is because he thinks he's the only one that can do it right.
CaptainElrond
CaptainElrond - 8/9/2017, 5:20 AM
@Kryptonmatters - Probably the reason we never got a queen.
Kryptonmatters
Kryptonmatters - 8/9/2017, 5:22 AM
@SkrullCipher - He actually like the Queen.
CaptainElrond
CaptainElrond - 8/9/2017, 5:24 AM
@Kryptonmatters - Really? i heard he hates the queen concept.
Kryptonmatters
Kryptonmatters - 8/9/2017, 5:36 AM
@SkrullCipher - No because there is an extra in the blu ray saying that Daniels will become the first Queen.
CaptainElrond
CaptainElrond - 8/9/2017, 5:37 AM
@Kryptonmatters - Well im not watching the third one
Kryptonmatters
Kryptonmatters - 8/9/2017, 5:43 AM
@SkrullCipher - I'll watch it just to see where it goes, but I'm not holding out much hope.
CaptainElrond
CaptainElrond - 8/9/2017, 4:56 AM
SuperCat
SuperCat - 8/9/2017, 5:14 AM
KIDCOM
KIDCOM - 8/9/2017, 5:27 AM
I actually don't hate the "Robot creates Aliens" part. Quite disturbingly poetic. But the human characters are horrible, and just there to get killed like in Prometheaus. Daniels sucks. She's no Ripley, and even less likable than Shaw.
CaptainElrond
CaptainElrond - 8/9/2017, 5:31 AM
@KIDCOM - I actually like daniels and shaw. If there are problems, they arent it.
Ha1frican
Ha1frican - 8/9/2017, 5:42 AM
@KIDCOM - the lore of the Prequel films is actually intriguing but everything else get in the way and there are just way more questions than answers making me think they dont actually have a meaningful end in mind and are just throwing things at the wall
CaptainElrond
CaptainElrond - 8/9/2017, 5:44 AM
@Ha1frican - Thats exactly it. They have no idea what they want to do.
Ha1frican
Ha1frican - 8/9/2017, 5:40 AM
Its a shame because Scott is largely a very competent filmmaker but he just seems to either not understand the franchise or just phones it in for the paycheck at this point. Give Blomkamp the franchise and do a either a hard reboot or erase everything but 1 and 2 from continuity. There's no reason these movies need to be gigantic multimillion dollar projects, less is more with what should be a body horror thriller. If they want to expand into sci-fi action with a sequel similar to the way Aliens did then fine but it needs to be earned with that body-horror premise first and then maybe the franchise could alternate those two approaches going forward
NoAssemblyReqd
NoAssemblyReqd - 8/9/2017, 5:49 AM
Flawed though they may be, I have no problem considering PROMETHEUS and COVENANT part of ALIEN canon.


ALIEN 3, ALIEN RESURRECTION, and the VS. PREDATOR movies, on the other hand, do not exist in my mind.
NoAssemblyReqd
NoAssemblyReqd - 8/9/2017, 6:03 AM
@NoAssemblyReqd - I find it odd that none of the movies after ALIENS have been able to give us characters as individually memorable as the Nostromo's crew and the Colonial Marines.
connorblaze
connorblaze - 8/9/2017, 6:02 AM
Prometheus was awful (except for David) but I [frick]ing loved Covenant. The philosophical parts of Prometheus were turned up to 11, but with the scary, visceral stuff of Alien. Thought it was groovy. David is such a beautifully written and interesting character. Better to reign in hell than serve in heaven. Why is it I hate the bible and its stupid stories but I love films and books that use religious metaphor?
NoAssemblyReqd
NoAssemblyReqd - 8/9/2017, 6:06 AM
@connorblaze - COVENANT gave me the heebie jeebies in a SILENCE OF THE LAMBS way. In that sense, I'd say it was successful.

Also, for the first time since ALIENS, I felt actual tension with the threat of the xenomorph stalking people who have no idea what they're up against.
Ragnarocknroll
Ragnarocknroll - 8/9/2017, 6:11 AM
@connorblaze - I'm not a christian but The Bible's stories are far from 'stupid'. There are some pretty complex stuff in there honestly.
Fogs
Fogs - 8/9/2017, 6:02 AM
Slept throughout the whole thing. Sorry.

Loved Prometheus and its premise BTW. Should've been a specific series rather than trying to tie it into the slasher-style Alien thing.

[frick].
Ragnarocknroll
Ragnarocknroll - 8/9/2017, 6:15 AM
Regardless of how I feel about a film, I don't respect channels like ScreenJunkies or CinemaSins, both of whom make a living out of taking down and nitpicking films that other people have spent 2-3 years of their lives working on and making. I'd like to see these channels make films of their own and see if they can take it like they dish it out.

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