Let's get it out of the way: Yes, I know — I have s$@t taste in movies. That comic book film you despise? Yeah, that one; the one that evokes feelings of hatred so intense, it makes you want to puke? I probably found some enjoyment in it. So, let it all out. Release your frustration and anger at me.
Believe me, considering what I'm about to say — and I say this without the slightest hint of sarcasm — I will understand you... Madame Web is not a bad movie. It was, in fact, okay.
Wait... What?
Ever since its fateful release in February 2024, Madame Web has been treated as the scourge of the comic book genre. If you were to hear about the movie without having watched it, you'd not be faulted to believe it kicked someone's goldfish and subsequently stepped on a special-edition steelbook of The Dark Knight signed by Christopher Nolan himself. Yet, that's a pretty unfair take on Cassie Webb's big-screen story.
Now, I'm not saying it's a great movie... but it is decent. It's enjoyable, with a lot to appreciate about it. For starters, I love Dakota Johnson's Cassie Webb. While that could be partially attributed to the fact that I'm a Johnson fan overall, I genuinely liked her take on the character. Having known Madame Web as a wise elderly woman looking out for the common good for so many years, it was interesting to see a young version of her who's largely disinterested in interacting with people.
I also enjoy the concept of Madame Web having to protect a group of future superheroes from a villain hell-bent on killing them. Another welcome aspect of the project is its (albeit, brief) exploration of Peter Parker's family and support system before their destined role as the ones who shaped him into the superhero we know. For example, we get to see Ben Parker as not just an ideal, but as someone with personality quirks and a pretty laid-back attitude.
To top off the above, a lot of the performances in the film are pretty good, including Sydney Sweeney, Isabela Merced and Celeste O'Connor. No one is Oscar-worthy, but they didn't need to be. The actors convey their characters' motivations and feelings well, which often allows you to get lost in the story, and feel like you're actually in Madame Web's world.
Not Everything Was Good, Though
Hold up. So far, you've successfully held off on hitting me with your bats, pitchforks and whatever else you plan to use to teach me a lesson in film quality. Keep doing it for just a bit longer. Madame Web is not a masterpiece in any way, shape or form. So, before I dig a deeper hole for myself, I'll say this — I understand why people don't enjoy it.
Madame Web has a lot to dislike. For one, there's its villain, Ezekiel Sims. With no desire to speak ill of actor Tahar Rahim, his character did not work, and his ADR-heavy dialogue took me out of the story more times than I care to count. The Pepsi ads were also extremely blatant, to the point where I genuinely felt like I was watching a TV commercial at times.
The movie reportedly went through a heavy retooling process, and it was rumored to have been intended as a prequel to Andrew Garfield's The Amazing Spider-Man films. There was also concept art released showing Tom Holland's Spider-Man battling Ezekiel. This retooling is pretty obvious in certain scenes, which makes the film feel artifical at points. Overall, given what we know about the original plans for the project, it seems that, had Sony stuck to them, it would have delivered something that felt more genuine.
Now, Baby Peter Parker is still there, but he's of no real consequence to the plot. Instead, the story boils down to Madame Web having a chance encounter with three young women destined to become superheroes down the line. Yet, while that's not, admittedly, as exciting as the concept of Spider-Man-centered prequel, it still made for a decent story on its own.
(As an aside, even if Spidey's role was minimal, I stand by it: The film delivered a pretty cool Easter egg when Cassie mentioned Uncle Ben having no idea what he was in for with Peter. I'm not ashamed to admit that made me jittery with excitement. Am I easy to please? Maybe, but damn it, that got me.)
So, yes, I can see the faults in Madame Web's spider-shaped stars, and I believe its reported original concept would have delivered a much better movie than what was released, but my point is: Ultimately, what we got was not offensively bad. It was... okay; good, even.
While it didn't break new ground for its genre, it was an interesting story based on a Spider-Man supporting character that would have likely never even stepped close to the big-screen had it not been for the current superhero-movie craze the film industry is in at the moment.
It makes some weird choices regarding Spider-Man's mythology, but for your average moviegoer unfamiliar with Peter Parker's lore, they're simply story beats. It was an inoffensive movie with bad elements, but that overall was a decent enough product not deserving of the vitriol it receives (and it will continue to receive, likely for many years to come).
So, come on, give Madame Web another shot. You might end up enjoying it.