Top 5 Reasons Why I Think Coulson Being an Life Model Decoy is Ridiculous

Top 5 Reasons Why I Think Coulson Being an Life Model Decoy is Ridiculous

It’s time for another SpoonWielder’s Top Five. This time I look at the theory of Agent Coulson being a Life Model Decoy, and just how ludicrous that is.

Editorial Opinion
By SpoonWielder - Nov 09, 2013 02:11 PM EST
Filed Under: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.



I like Coulson. I like him a lot. When we first saw Coulson at the beginning of Iron Man, it appeared that he was nothing but a random pencil-pusher who worked for some faceless organization. But as the movie progressed it turned out this was no analyst, this was a full-fledged agent who could handle himself. He became something of a fan-favourite. I still have no idea how it happened. But it did. I honestly don’t remember him being talked about much after Iron Man came out. But Coulson’s popularity soared, and that gave him roles in other Marvel movies; Iron Man 2, Thor and finally the Avengers, where he met his demise at the end of spear. Fanboys wept that day.

But soon after the huge success of the Avengers, Marvel announced that they would be producing a live action tv show called Agents of SHIELD with Agent Coulson as the star. Many theories surrounded Coulson and his return to the MCU. Did the show take place before the Avengers? Was it all a lie and Coulson faked his death? Or was he really dead and brought back by some unknown force? There were plenty of theories but none that made me roll my eyes more than the Life Model Decoy theory. I’ve always thought that theory was dumb, and here’s the reasons why;


1. The Technology Just Isn’t There


So for those of you who haven’t picked up a comic, and have no idea what I’m talking about, let me explain to you what a Life Model Decoy is. Or rather let the Marvel Wiki page explain it to you;

Life-Model Decoys (LMD's) are a S.H.I.E.L.D. designed robot that takes the form of a living person, thus making a recreation of that person. The owner can see through, speak through, and control everything the LMD does in the field.


Essentially it’s just a robot that looks like a person. Kind of like a Terminator. However according to Marvel Comics, a Life Model Decoy is controlled by an outside source. Not a self-sustaining, decisive robot as the LMD theory often implies. But for the sake of argument, let's say if Coulson was an Life Model Decoy, he wasn't being controlled by someone else. He's just simply a robot who looks Old Christine's ex.

For something like this to exist, you would need a pretty sophisticated piece of machinery. Capable of functioning on its own power source for extended periods of time. Be able to integrate into its surroundings without raising suspicions from its behaviour or appearance. And being able to adapt to special circumstances and situations in a convincingly human way.

At this point in the Marvel Cinematic Universe, the most advanced piece of technology is arguably the Iron Man suit. Yes, there’s been Tesserects and Asgardian technology but on Earth, in the Marvel Cinematic Universe, it’s the Iron Man suit, and by extension, JARVIS. Tony Stark is already pushing the boundaries with his suit. I really don’t think that the technology to make a living, breathing, replicant exists at this time.

First off, the artificial intelligence isn’t there. Now before you scroll down to the bottom and yell at me in the comments section, hear me out. Yes, they do have highly advanced artificial intelligence in this universe. JARVIS being the prime example at this point, and Ultron being a second in the next few years. Both, however were created from scratch. A LMD’s artificial intelligence would have to be based off an existing person’s personality. In this case, Agent Coulson. Taking a whole bunch of 1s and 0s and programming it to not only talk like a person, but copy facial expressions and mannerisms so well that nobody notices, that is no easy feat. Even if the guy is kind of deadpan.

And, it’s one thing to make a robot that can act like it’s human, it’s a whole other thing to make a robot look so real that nobody knows it’s a robot. Coulson’s had physicals since Agents of SHIELD started. He’s sweated, he’s shaved, he’s sustained bleeding open wounds since the show started. Are you meaning to tell me that they have robots so advanced they not only look human on the outside but they look real on the inside too? With flesh and blood and everything? That’s really advanced technology. And seems a little beyond their grasp at the moment.


2. Why Coulson?


Okay, so let’s say the technology is there. They really can make robots that look and act and think like humans. Why of all people would you make a robot that looks like Agent Coulson? I can understand important people, like the President, or Nick Fury. But why Coulson? He’s a nobody. Yes, he’s a high-ranking SHIELD operative. And has proved effective in the past. And has a charming way about him, but in the end, he’s just an expendable agent. A cog in the great machine. Usually you’d cut your loses and find someone to replace him. You don’t go and spend millions, if not billions of the tax payer’s money to make a robot version of him, just ‘cause you miss the guy.


3. Why the Charade?


Okay, again let’s say the technology exists, and they did, for whatever reason, decide to make a Life Model Decoy of Coulson. Why doesn’t he know about it? Wouldn’t he be a much more effective asset if he knew he was a robot? What possible benefit would they have of keeping him the dark. That’s like NOT telling an amnesia patient that they’re a multi-millionaire.

Maybe there are good reasons though. Perhaps people would feel uncomfortable around him knowing he’s a robot. Yes, that’s true. They would probably question his judgment more, and blame any wrong decision he made on faulty programming. They’d probably all go silent and stare when he walked into a room. That’s what I call a hostile work environment. I can see why they wouldn’t tell anyone his secret.

Well then, maybe he does know and he’s hiding it. Another valid theory, except he clearly doesn’t know! Coulson has stated aloud, to other characters, that he feels different and feels he wasn’t given the whole story when it came to his death. He’s been actively looking for answers and he’s not exactly been private about it. I doubt he’s doing all of that for show.

And not to be crass, but does Coulson go to the bathroom? I think people would notice if he never went to the bathroom. So if he knows he’s a robot, does he go to the bathroom every couple of hours to throw people off? Does he just stand in there and pretend to go? Every now and then staying in there longer so people think he’s doing a two-sie? And if he doesn’t know he’s a LMD, is he built to go to the bathroom? That’s probably one of the first things I would notice if I was robot and didn’t know it. And that brings up the question, why would anyone build a robot that has to go to the bathroom? I need these questions answered Marvel!


Can you see how ridiculous this theory is yet?


4. Why is He So Insubordinate?


If Coulson is an LMD, why does he break the rules so much? Since Agents of SHIELD started I’m pretty sure in every episode, Coulson has done something that is either A) Not procedure, or B) A direct violation of what he was ordered to do. Coulson is constantly bending the rules, whether it’s taking in a hacker who is clearly a spy and hiding something, or sticking around when he’s been told it would be safer if he evacuated. Coulson has a strong moral belief, and he’s not afraid to act on it. That’s a good thing, it makes him an interesting character. But that kind of behaviour does not scream to me Life Model Decoy. Coulson is shown to be in almost constant disagreement with his superiors and often thinks outside of the box to serve his own personal agenda, which usually saves more people’s lives. While it is the moral thing to do and makes for more interesting television, is this really how you would describe the actions of a robot? You would think that a government sanctioned weapon, like a Life Model Decoy, would be programmed to follow orders. You’d think SHIELD would show up the second that Coulson showed the smallest signs of insubordination.


5. LMDs Are a Joke.


Anytime I bring this topic up, inevitably someone brings up the same silly argument. But Tony Stark said in the Avengers, ‘ You’ve reached the Life Model Decoy of Tony Stark.’! So they have to exist! No, no they don’t. That my friends, was a joke. Tony could of said anything in that instant; You’ve reached the clone, the holo representation, the evil twin brother, the Sandman disguised as, and so on. It doesn’t mean any of those things exist. If he had actually said ‘evil twin brother’ would we be running around with all these crazy theories about Stark’s twin brother Santiago and what exactly his evil plot may be? No, we wouldn’t. Actually scratch that, we probably would.

But Tony didn’t say evil twin brother he said Life Model Decoy. And why did he say that? The simplest explanation? So you could poke your buddy in the theatre and say ‘ That’s a thing, you know.’ The great Joss Whedon is a master writer, as well as a lover of comic books. I’m sure he put that line in there to not only get a laugh, but to give the slightest of nods to all his comrades out there in geekdom. I have never believed it was a sign of things to come. It was simply a joke.


Well there you have it, five reasons why that theory’s ridiculous. As you can guess, I really don’t think Coulson is a Life Model Decoy, and Agents of SHIELD is starting to point away from that direction thank goodness. However if it is the case that Coulson is a robot, I think that will be the proverbial nail in the coffin for the show. At least for me. The mystery of Coulson’s resurrection still plagues us, but I hope with this article I put to bed at least one of the many theories. I hope you enjoyed this edition of SpoonWielder’s Top 5, and as always comment in the section below.
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NovaCorpsFan
NovaCorpsFan - 11/9/2013, 3:06 PM
I agree, he's not an LMD
AC1
AC1 - 11/9/2013, 3:12 PM
"Phil? His first name is Agent."
Actually, his name is Santiago, and he's your evil twin brother!

Good article, all those reasons seem airtight. I think he may be a cyborg, that seems to be the direction they're going - part man, part machine, with no idea that he's only part human now. I wouldn't be surprised if it turns out to be something completely different though.
GageHarts
GageHarts - 11/9/2013, 3:56 PM
You clearly haven't paid close enough attention the way the MCU works. They wrote RDJ saying "Life model decoy" for a reason. That line established LMD's within the universe in one second. It would be different if he said evil twin brother or something but it wouldn't even have sounded right coming out of Tony's genius mouth.
BANE5000
BANE5000 - 11/9/2013, 4:00 PM
IDK wat to try to guess about Coulson anymore, so far the shows has given subtle hints, especially in the last few episodes, of him joking how hes just a bit " rusty' and how his " iron " levels are a bit high during his physical .

Whatever he turns out to be, i just hope its makes sense and isnt just something ridiculous they just throw out there.
ruadh
ruadh - 11/9/2013, 4:06 PM
All good points, but also:

#6: Even if it was originally the intent to have him be a LMD (which I don't believe it ever was), there's absolutely no way the writers are going to continue to let that be the reason since every nerd with a computer apparently has "figured it out".

@GageHarts

It was a throwaway joke, a silly nod to fans, NOT a clue. Whedon etc didn't plan on Coulson returning from the dead until after the movie was already released. The thing doesn't have to actually exist for Tony to make a joke about it.
Lhornbk
Lhornbk - 11/9/2013, 4:53 PM
Thank you. I've been trying to point out for months that the "Life Model Decoy" line was probably a joke, not him saying that such things actually exist.

As for the iron level remark, yeah, that could be a hint that maybe he's a cyborg, that he has mechanical parts. It could also have just been a dumb Iron Man joke. (Btw, there is a real medical condition called hemochromatosis, or iron overload, which causes a person's iron levels to be too high. I should know, I have it. So I guess I'm Iron Man, lol)
FreedomFreeLife
FreedomFreeLife - 11/10/2013, 12:41 AM
Marvel has ruined everything!!!!
CorndogBurglar
CorndogBurglar - 11/10/2013, 9:45 AM
Tony Stark mentioning LMD's could mean either.

Does it solidify LMD's existence in the MCU? No. They could continue on with the MCU and never use, or mention LMD's again.

BUT...it certainly COULD mean that they are actual things that he is referencing.

Until we see an actual LMD appear, we'll never know for sure. Although one has to wonder why he called himself a Life Model Decoy. He used the exact name. Yes he was joking because he obviously isn't an LMD, but that doesn't mean they don't exist.

Again, if it isn't technology that exists and that he is aware of then why did he use the technical term and name?
ruadh
ruadh - 11/10/2013, 1:38 PM
Because it's something for the fans to chuckle about.
SpideyQuad
SpideyQuad - 11/10/2013, 2:40 PM
I agree it's unlikely Coulson's LMD, but disagree on your assertion about the tech not being there.

You remember in CA the Original Human Torch in the vacuum tube at the Stark Expo. No reason to believe that wasn't the real MaCoy
ruadh
ruadh - 11/10/2013, 3:17 PM
We also don't know if the Human Torch even worked...
continuezero
continuezero - 11/10/2013, 3:44 PM
Modified Extremis. /thread
pollix22
pollix22 - 11/10/2013, 4:58 PM
Has anyone considered that maybe Coulson's reserrection was related to one of the Infinity Stones? Say "Soul"?

It's not without reason that SHEILD could possess at least one and be keeping it under wraps.

It's now been established that the Tesaract is "Space" and the Aether is most likely "Power"

I do think that we are being messed with on "Agents" when Coulson says things like "My iron is a little high" or "I'm a bit rusty" to mislead us in the LMD direction, but I agree that he could have been brought back through cyborg-esque tech.

If so it's also possible that they will move in the direction of him ending up as the Vision, but it seems like too many LMD's in the pot if you catch my drift...

Jarvis, Mark whatever number we're on, Ultron, Vision, etc.
Galgorthos
Galgorthos - 11/10/2013, 5:14 PM
So Stark takes a look through some of those SHIELD files he steals in the Avengers. Reads up on LMDs, sees failed tests in files, didn't get anything more on it (any success was classified farther and kept quiet), laughs it off as a joke, even going to far as to put in his voicemail.

Coulson shows up. For some reason he's an LMD. Stark shocked, sees it as a challenge, confronts Fury. Fury tells his dad was in on the project and it even showed some signs minor success (The Human Torch in Captain America).

Stark is fascinated and wants to create his out version of simulated life and learning intelligence in a personified form. JARVIS is a good starting point, but is ultimately Tony's personal assistant software. Something goes wrong, intelligence becomes self aware in the process, forms Ultron.

Ultron flees, nabs old Human Torch (probably due to wanting to learn of it's origin and creation), tries to create way to fight the Avengers, creates The Vision.

The Vision fights the Avengers, sees they are on the side of justice using his own artificial intelligence and logic, switches sides.

Ultron is pissed, goes to fight the Avengers. Epic third act fight with Ultron, who has been using the time the Avengers have been fighting Vision to "upgrade" and improve himself, and kicks the shit out of the Avengers. Vision knows the "secret" to defeating Ultron, Avengers disable Ultron.

The Vision is now on the Avengers, him and Scarlett Witch fall in love, so she comes too.

The Avengers 2!

Post credit, Ultron turns back on.
MightyZeus
MightyZeus - 11/10/2013, 5:26 PM
Good article.

I still think Coulson is a clone.
Wallymelon
Wallymelon - 11/10/2013, 5:58 PM
it was def a joke, but it doesnt mean LMD's dont exist.
PeterDarker121
PeterDarker121 - 11/10/2013, 10:29 PM
@SpoonWielder

Frankly, after 'FZZT', I don't know WHAT to think about Coulson, but there's SOMETHING different about his physiology as evidenced by "Eye Spy".

Really well done article, I just disagree with your first assertion that the tech isn't there to make an LMD. I'm with @SpideyQuad in that a "synthetic man" WAS at least on display at the 1942 Stark Expo.
CaptainTumeria
CaptainTumeria - 11/11/2013, 5:49 AM
ManThing
ManThing - 11/11/2013, 6:00 AM
1. It's there. We just haven't seen it yet in any film. Duh. There are several Marvel characters who are just as inventive as Tony Stark, and who could have come up with this technology. Most notably: The Mad Thinker, Hank Pym, The Leader, and Arnim Zola

2. Coulson is important because he WAS the top field operative associated with the division of SHIELD that deals with super powered people. He has a rapport with both Cap and Thor. If Fury had the ability to keep his right hand man in the field even postmortem then I am sure he would use it. In the comics back when we had the REAL Nick Fury instead of the shitty Ultimate version, he used a LMD stand in for himself for years on end. Copying a strategy employed by Dr. Doom!

3. In the comics an LMD is built to mimic functions of people in almost every way. If it's hurt, it bleeds and behaves like a human would, with pain response etc. The one exception of which is of course battle damage. If they take a bad hit or get crushed or something in battle then any medical personnel or field operative involved would have the chance to discover the decoy's secret. So they handle this in 3 ways: 1. they have ways of making people forget things. 2. These super spies are trained masters of secret-keeping and minimizing information leakage. They would be coerced by the higher ups or maybe the LMD itself into keeping their trap shut. and 3. the individual involved avoids battles. (which obviously the Coulson in the show never does) But that's one way Fury kept it hush-hush in the books. He just ran things from HQ and stayed out of fighting scnarios, which is his right as Director.

4. The LMD is programmed to mimic Coulson's behavior in a highly detailed fashion. Assuming that the data on Coulson's behavior/personality went into extreme detail, it's not too hard to imagine that one could program a robot to not behave like a robot. Unless of course you lack imagination... ahem

5. This is too lame to deal with. Your reaching, and you know it. Trying to support a baseless premise by twisting the best evidence that you are wrong to make it sound like you are right. Maybe you should go to work for Fox news or CNN
NightWingNut
NightWingNut - 11/11/2013, 6:17 AM
If you are ignoring all the obvious cues in the show then clearly you don't watch enough movies/tv.

The former agent who can see in X-Ray, looking through Coulson saying he's "different".

The comments about muscle memory, being rusty, iron levels.

It's pretty obvious he's made up of mechanized components if not completely. The fact that he keeps saying Tahiti is "a magical place" only leads us to think that magic is involved. Maybe his brain was extracted and through magic he is able to control the Coulson we see on the show. That may be a bit of a stretch.

Then again, maybe Whedon is doing this all on purpose to make us think we're onto something when it is all in fact misdirection. lol
LeoAtrox
LeoAtrox - 11/11/2013, 6:24 AM
My theory is that he IS a LMD. And the real Coulson IS controlling it remotely. And that real Coulson IS NOT aware of it. After being run through, Coulson's body was unsalvageable, but he could be kept alive on life support. His consciousness is used to control the LMD, and he is not aware of the reality of his own situation.

Why Coulson? Because he was SHIELD's front man. He was much more important than we think he was. It was he who took the lead with Stark. It was he who took the lead with Thor. And, in the Avengers, it because his responsibility to get Cap to the ship. Coulson WAS important to SHIELD.

In the show, Coulson's influence within SHIELD is diminished. In his mind, it is because they have questions about his physical and emotional ability to handle his previous responsibilities. In reality, it's because they don't quite trust him and his LMD yet. They just don't trust "RoboCoulson."

Why is he insubordinate? Because he's a veteran agent who has been marginalized within SHIELD for reasons he believes to be unfair. He's being sent on wild goose chases like a typical field agent. Worse off, he's given a special team ... He feels that SHIELD is patronizing him because he played such a major role leading up to the battle of New York. He doesn't want them to respect him for what he did; he wants them to respect him for who he is.
sinchsw
sinchsw - 11/11/2013, 6:59 AM
My reasoning is down to "magic".
SpoonWielder
SpoonWielder - 11/11/2013, 9:21 AM
@Conaan

Always nice to hear from my fans.
m0th3r
m0th3r - 11/11/2013, 9:30 AM
Remember Hill said he can never know in the first episode. I think LMD will NOT be robots but programmable clones (more sense that way). If a clone THINKS its you, and acts like you..its you to everyone else...
m0th3r
m0th3r - 11/11/2013, 9:31 AM
Or maybe taking a page from BSG and making LMDs like the human like Cylons...
buckshotenema
buckshotenema - 11/11/2013, 9:41 AM
I think Tahiti, is actually asgard, and he was resurected by their technology, and he can never know, cause Odin only agreed to this if Coulson would be unconsious the whole time.
TheVictor11
TheVictor11 - 11/11/2013, 9:55 AM
@conaan


ruadh
ruadh - 11/11/2013, 10:47 AM
"It's there. We just haven't seen it yet in any film. Duh."

This is cool reasoning. "We've seen no evidence, so obviously it exists. Stupid!"
VFC
VFC - 11/11/2013, 3:13 PM
Sounds like Coulsen turns out to become ultron.
DanMcNice
DanMcNice - 11/12/2013, 9:51 AM
Great article.

I think they throw all this references in the show to mislead people onto thinking he is a robot. I really hope he is not!
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