The third issue of Absolute Batman, a reimagining of the Caped Crusader as a physically huge Batman who still has one of his parents, but no money, no company, and no butler, is here. This issue reveals much more of the Party Animal’s plan, but still doesn’t manage to live up to the amazing first issue.
SPOILERS for Absolute Batman #3 below.
This issue begins by showing us some of the backstory behind Batman and Catwoman issue two promised. As children, Bruce and Selina navigate the rooftops of Gotham City by walking across tightropes two stories up. The beginning of their backstory doesn’t add much other than showing as Selina is a bit of a thrill seeker. About eleven pages in, we see the two of them together as children once more and learn that Selina is homeless. Her foster parents didn’t want her and this seems to be a common trend in her life, but she still does not want to live with the Waynes for some reason. She’d prefer to be homeless with cats. There’s no reason given for this. Maybe she’s just being an edgy teen, but we’ll probably find out in the next issue. It turns out, Selina had a destination in mind: a movie theater to watch Zorro, the movie Bruce notoriously watches just before his parents die. The rest of the friend group shows up later in the comic, then all watch the movie together.
Unless this is going to connect to something later, it felt purposeless to include Zorro. It’s a good nod to the original comics, but it didn’t seem necessary to add. The whole point of the Absolute Universe is to change the origins of characters, so I think it would have been fine if this was left out.
Early in the comic, we see the batmobile once again, and boy is it awesome. The beast of a vehicle can essentially transform from a massive dump/monster truck style batmobile, to something much more closely representing the classic batmobile, but, in perfect Absolute Batman style, is still gigantic. Both forms of the vehicle are seemingly completely bulletproof and armed to the teeth. It has a huge cannon that fires electrically charged batarangs designed to take out tires and an actual wrecking ball that bashes entire vehicles. Naturally, it also has an ejector seat and it can sort of transform into a boat. It doesn’t float, but it locks up all ways water could enter the batmobile, then just straight up drives across the floor of the river completely underwater. It, like everything else in this comic, is perfectly over the top.
In this issue, the plan of the Party Animals is revealed. Black Mask has been funding, or is part of, a group that creates corporate prisons with no regulation in cooperation with governments around the world. Not only that, but the main company that is funding these prisons is a group called J.K. Holdings. Seems to me like this whole story is leading to this universe’s version of Joker. In the first issue, it was explained that this Joker is an uber wealthy man who goes by many names and frequently smiles, but never laughs. Santa Prisca, the prison that famously held Bane, was the first experiment. These prisons are called Arks. They’ve had Ark A, Ark B, Ark C, and now they’re on, you guessed it, Ark M, and this Ark is going to be bigger and badder than all the rest. It’ll be the entirety of Gotham City.
The plan is outlandish, unrealistic, and perfect for a comic book villain plot. I’m all for it and am ecstatic to see where it goes.
During the chase, Batman and Alfred argue about the merits of an offer Bruce receives from Roman Sionis. Essentially, Black Mask is offering Batman a buyout. If Bruce stops fighting back against the Party Animals, Black Mask will pay him two hundred million dollars. That’s not quite the amount of money Bruce has in the classic story, but it’s still a very large sum. Alfred, and later Black Mask, try to convince Bruce that he could make an even bigger difference as Batman if he had more money. The comic ends with Bruce taking the deal.
Ultimately, this argument makes no sense. If Bruce, still with no explanation, is able to build a six hundred ton batmobile that starts as a dump truck, then turns into a hotrod, then an underwater car thing without any money, not to mention a bat suit with a bulletproof axe in the chest, chemical weapons, and smoke grenades, then why does he need two hundred million dollars?
This comic has some great moments. The batmobile is a perfect match for its oversized Batman. Its transformations into a true all terrain vehicle are ridiculous in the best way possible. The Party Animals’ true purpose brings a wonderfully evil plot with it that leaves me wanting more. However, there’s some downsides to this issue that can’t be ignored. The parts of this issue with Selina also seemed to be shoehorned into it with no real reason. If Bruce really takes the deal, it will be an egregious mistake on the part of the writers. Hopefully, Bruce is not actually taking the deal or is going to use it to end up taking down Joker. Overall, I give this comic a good 7.5/10.