DC Comics has launched its own version of Marvel's Ultimate Universe with its Absolute line of comics, and Scott Snyder and Nick Dragotta kicked that off in style with today's Absolute Batman #1.
The issue opens with Alfred Pennyworth arriving in Gotham City; he appears to be a secret agent of some sort and has been sent home to assess the threat posed by the "Party Animals" crime gang. His motorbike is stolen and his daughter, Julia, wants nothing to do with him.
A bulked-up Bruce Wayne is found working out in Croc's Gym. Run by Waylon Jones (Killer Croc in the main DC Universe), we learn he went to school with Eddie, Harvey, Oz, and Selina, characters who are now his friends and allies rather than Batman's greatest enemies.
A new take on Black Mask runs the Party Animals and appears to have an alien wife and child. He murders the Falcone and Maroni families after orchestrating a series of horrific, grotesque crimes throughout Gotham City.
At a City Hall meeting, Major Jim Gordon, Commissioner Harvey Bullock, and beat cop Barbara Gordon deal with citizens who are angry about that gang running wild. However, it's then the Party Animals attack...and Batman debuts (with Pennyworth watching from afar).
He brutally beats the gang members, but as Alfred notes, does so in a way that means none of them die. This Batman still has a no-kill rule but cuts off arms, stabs his foes, and breaks their bones. Pennyworth is ordered to take the Caped Crusader out, but the vigilante easily disarms him (in case it isn't obvious, they don't know each other in this world).
We then learn that this Bruce grew up in Crime Alley. His father was a teacher and his mother a social worker; revealed to be a genius at a young age, he won his class a trip to the Gotham Zoo where a gunman attempted to perform a mass shooting, leading to Thomas' death. Despite going off the rails for a while, he got into college on a football scholarship but faked an injury so he could save his body for his future mission as Batman.
Bruce then studied mechanics, chemistry, criminal psychology, and more to prepare and, after returning home and taking on a series of jobs that would better familiarise him with Gotham, he became an engineer and architect (and certainly not a billionaire).
As for where that bat inspiration came from, Bruce designed a bridge to win that contest based on the anatomy of a bat wing and his father locked him and his fellow classmates in the bat enclosure when the gunman attacked.
Here's the twist, though: Martha Wayne is still alive and well in the present day!
Later, Alfred is sent to kill Batman - he's managed to deduce that he and Bruce are one and the same - but the hero shoots Pennyworth in the face with the shotgun he took from him earlier...after modifying it to be non-lethal, of course.
It turns out he's been following Alfred too and Batman makes his escape...on Pennyworth's stolen bike.
In an epilogue, we learn that the agent was previously tasked with following one of the richest men in the world. After studying with Henri Ducard and the League of Assassins, this man killed them and we soon find out he has an interesting moniker given to him because he never laughs: The Joker.
Absolute Batman #1 is now on sale.