So, unless you've been concealing yourself under a rock for the past two days, you're probably fully aware that we're receiving a Deadpool movie on February 12th 2016, God willing. However, despite the fact most people might consider Deadpool a waste of a character that doesn't even deserve the comic book cult following he has, plenty of fan input has led to this movie being something of a reality. So, with that comes the fact that the movie will face trials and tribulations and though some will be conquerable, others will not be so easy to deal with. As a massive fan of the Merc With A Mouth, I fancied weighing in on the whole idea of him finally getting his own movie and how the very notion and concept should be carried out as well as how it shoudn't be done. Without further ado then, let's begin...
1. Retain the tone of the test footage
I, along with most of the internet, absolutely loved this test footage and if they were to make a Deadpool movie, I think the tone of this footage is the best track to follow. Not only was it funny and quirky in all the right ways, but there was some seriously awesome action spectacle there and that's what Deadpool's all about. Over-the-top action with a bunch of well-timed gags that don't detract at all from how much pure awesomeness is being thrown in your face. The main thing is that a Deadpool movie has to make you dispend any and all disbelief and you have to fully immerse yourself in the fact that nothing you're about to see is going to make very much sense until the end when you realise, "Holy shit, Deadpool's actually a genius!". I can see Fox handling this well as they did a great job with Days of Future Past and First Class, but for me, that confirms the directors were a major part of the issue, not just the studio. So, with the right, director on board, I think something very magical that harkens back to this test footage would be very probable and brilliant indeed.
2. Don't Use The Old Script
To me, using that script that leaked a while back would be a very poor idea and I doubt it's something they'd ever actually do anyway, but I needed stuff to talk about. Plus, there'd be such an essence of disappointment for all of us who read it way back when and now only to go see the film and be like, "Aw, shit, I spoiled the whole thing before I even knew they were gonna do the movie.". My advice to anybody out there considering reading the leaked script is; do it. It's one of the best scripts I've ever read. Anyway, I know for a fact I'd feel somewhat cheated if they were to use that script, which they won't, and I'm sure they'd want to hire new writers anyway... *wink* *wink*... So yeah, give me a [frick]ing job!
3. Be witty; not shitty
Wit isn't something you find in everyday comedy and it's depressing for me to watch that happen because I grew up on all those eighties British witty sitcoms like Black Adder, Red Dwarf, Only Fools And Horses and Porridge. God, those were the days, when comedy was all about wordplay and sarcasm rather than people falling over or cartoon babies with talking dogs. Anyway, Deadpool's insane and most insane characters tend to be incredibly witty when you put pen to paper because you gotta put yourself in the mind of a madman when you're writing one and by golly, that's a load of fun! Seriously though, Deadpool is a pretty over-the-top, mental kind of a property to deal with so wit is essential otherwise all you're left with is outright goofishness and nobody wants that... Unless they prefer Family Guy over Frasier.
4. Violence is ALWAYS the answer!
I don't know about you lot, but I don't want to see a PG-13/12A Deadpool movie. I want blood, guts, swearing, sex, drug use and all that other stuff that gets a movie the R/18 rating. People who say otherwise obviously haven't experienced the pulse-pounding sensation of seeing people be torn to shreds by bullets or maybe they just haven't exposed themselves to the cinematic masterpiece that is Cannibal Holocaust. Either way, you can't have a movie centered around a maniacal mercenary that's completely family-friendly. With the test footage being pretty much everything we could hope for in a Deadpool movie, I reiterate my earlier point: stick to the tone of the test footage!
5. Reference the wider world of comics in the most obvious ways possible without getting in trouble
If there's anything Deadpool does best other than taking names, it's making references to various pop culture. Whether that be screaming Leroy Jenkins as he charges towards the Great Lakes Champions or simply saying that his common sense is tingling, it's not exactly an unusual occurrence. So, I think that to really make this film a good hoot, sticking in as many references to Marvel Studios or Sony or any other competing super-hero franchise would be a nice nod to the fans that this character is going to be a fun one to watch and listen to. Not only that, but who wouldn't love to hear Deadpool say something like, "Quick! To the DP-Mobile!", only to be completely ignored by his peers who think he's just being an utter twat and making a sexual reference. But we'd know and that'd just make the movie all the more worthwhile as an addition to the ever-expanding list of films we've loved over the past few years. This wouldn't be a necessity though. Just something I personally think would add to the nostalgia of it all. I hope I'm not alone in my thinking on that point and if I am; shame on all of you! All your mothers were hamsters and your fathers smelled of Elderberries! Anyway, moving swiftly on with a more sensical aspect of the editorial...
6. Develop the character
Deadpool doesn't always have to about killing, Mexican food, bitches or even comedy. There's plenty of room for there to be a really compelling character arc amongst all the whacky and crazy things going on in a Deadpool movie and it'd be one hell of a wasted opportunity not to go ahead and adapt Deadpool to his fullest rather than just have him be this psychopathic murderer who cracks wise and constantly chows down on chimichangas. There's potential for just about anything to happen in a Deadpool movie and with the right writers and director behind it, that potential can easily be fully realised.
7. KEEP RYAN REYNOLDS
I for one just loved Reynolds' portrayal of Deadpool in X-Men Origins: Wolverine and I think it'd be a pure travesty if they didn't bring Ryan back on board to finally star in this up and coming Deadpool movie that will hopefully end up being one great franchise in the comic book movie spectrum. Seriously, Reynolds deserves this, he's had a tough time with comic book properties but he can kill it as Deadpool! There are two massive pieces of evidence that show that very fact: the short time he had on screen in Origins and the test footage. If you disagree with me, give a fancast down below in the comments section.
8. Don't let Origins exist anymore
I don't think I really need to explain why I'd rather this film not exist anymore. You're probably all thinking that due to the events of DoFP, this could never happen anyway. This is Fox we're talking about guys. Anything is possible. In all actual honesty though, Deadpool in Origins is to all comic book movies what Ireland's urban sprawl issues are to the EU. Whatever that is: Don't. Do it. I don't know why they screwed him up so bad, but it pissed me the feck off when those doors parted and that Jared Nomak wannabe strolled between them. God, I hate that movie!
If there's any note to end on, I think that's as good as any. What do you reckon of the Deadpool movie? How would you like to see everyone's favourite parody character on the big screen? Be sure to leave all your thoughts in the commenst section down below and cheers a bunch for taking the time to read this editorial!