FAN-FIC: The Peter Stone Saga - The Sky Cities

FAN-FIC: The Peter Stone Saga - The Sky Cities

Hit the jump to read a plot summary for the first part of a brand new sci-fi trilogy created from my fertile imagination, The Peter Stone Saga - The Sky Cities!

By MovieMaster - Mar 27, 2012 10:03 AM EST
Filed Under: Fan Fic

Hey all,

So, I haven't done any fan-fic in a while. I'm trying to get together a Captain America fan-fic and maybe something else, I'm pretty interested in DareDevil at the moment. But recently I've been developing an original sci-fi idea, which would be a trilogy. The story is centered around the leader of a rebellion towards big business and modern technology, and humanity's eagerness to prolong life as long as possible. Intrigued? Read ahead for a plot summary of Part 1...

In the year 2166 the head of the Arama Corporation (Jonathan Arama) actively campaigns to abandon Earth and live in the sky with his concept of 'Sky Cities', as Earth is too polluted and dangerous to now support life, with genetically engineered monsters and mutated canabillistic humans roaming certain areas.

He wins his argument, and the population takes to the skies and it is designed as a Utopia. There is no more hunger, no more suffering. Everything is paradise. Peter Stone is a man greatly against this and is trying to raise a rebel army to send us back to our natural habitat. Jonathan realises that people will never adjust to the fact that they have left Earth whilst knowing all the details. He creates an elaborate plan and a new drug to shroud a veil of secrecy around him, and the drug is called the Eternal drug.

The Eternal Drug prevents the body from aging or attracting any natural illnesses/diseases. They are still subject to immediate death though, e.g if he is shot he will die. He takes it, and becomes immortal in some ways. But somebody else takes it as well. In an assault on the Arama Corporation, Peter Stone manages to sneak into the offices and injects some of the Eternal drug into his system, after a fair bit of research beforehand. 2 billion years later, people believe that Arama is God. He created the world they live in and they worship him, and the Earth below is Hell.

Peter Stone has a massive rebel army, and they are considered evil amongst some, freedom fighters amongst others. Arama's vision never really came true, as the two forces have been at war for millions/billions of years. Arama wants to end the war, and makes his first public appearance in billions of years and is met with humble worship etc. Stone plans to thwart this, and when Arama is in the right position he shoots him in the head. The population is in a state of devestation, and the rebels are hunted down and executed. Stone is given a punishment worse than death, forced to live in the harsh environment known as Earth. He is beamed down, and is given some tools to help him survive as the government believes the population would like to watch him fight for survival.

He finds various tribes of people who have been beamed down to Earth over the years, and begins forming a new army. Arama is put into a cyborg body, but people believe it will stop functioning soon. After battling tons of monsters and finally arriving in London, the final stage of the fight begins. Arama and an army of fighter robots head to Earth of fight Stone and his new army. They have gained the trust of monsters, and they ambush the fight overpowering Arama's army. He has had enough of being overpowered by Stone, and the two engage in battle.

Stone stabs Arama's cyborg body in the chest and he falls to his doom
(they're a top some tall building). His army are destroyed, and Stone has one. Back in the Sky Cities, the Rebels are in celebration as their leader has won the battle. They manage to gain control of the light beam and bring Stone and his new army back in to the Sky.


One of the major sub-plot's of the story is that, as it's billions of years in the future, the sun is on the verge of a supernova which will wipe out Earth. So the Sky Cities need to leave Earth and find a new planet to live above. Stone gets home in time, and they leave Earth and the ending is the entire population watching the sun destroy Earth.

The story of the sequel will consist of humanity's pursuit to find another planet that can sustain life in the same way as Earth, as they know that they cannot drift in space forever. And before you ask, I am aware that the title sucks. If you can think of a better one, let me know in the comments. The story is basically what I wrote in the summary, the rest is action (assaults on the Arama Corporation, Stone fighting monsters on Earth etc). Casting-wise, Jeremy Renner would play Peter Stone and Cillian Murphy would play Jonathan Arama.

I hope you enjoyed it, and as always leave your thoughts and suggestions in the comments section below!


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ThaMessenger07
ThaMessenger07 - 3/27/2012, 12:15 PM
Fantastic!
OptimusBurgundyMaximus
OptimusBurgundyMaximus - 3/27/2012, 12:46 PM
SChwinnnng
cardiakid
cardiakid - 3/27/2012, 5:36 PM
Wow this is a great original idea! Good job!
asdalhjljh
asdalhjljh - 3/27/2012, 5:50 PM
It's honestly pretty good. I wouldnt keep it posted on this site though for copyright reasons. write up a script, find an artist and get it made into a graphic novel. Make sure to keep the characters' motivations in mind, and you may want to scale it back from millions/billions of years in the future to hundreds at best- it can strain an audience's credulity to remove it too far into the future (see Olaf Stapledon's Last and First Men for an example of this), also, the fact that SOOO many years have elapsed and there is still basic cyborg technology doesnt make sense...in billions of years, people might not even be inhabiting their own bodies, and might be experiencing different forms of consciousness than in the near future. I would also shy away from giving them a wonder drug (do you really want to live forever?) and then showing it WORK over such a long period of time. More potential conflict if you show the adverse effects ot drug over a short longperiod of time, say 200 years...

I get the Jesus/Satan Paradise Lost, etc references, but am not a big fan of it in the context of your story. I think if you are going to include such western mythic themes, you need to make it the major thrust and goal of your plot. from the summary, it seems to me that you cant decide whether to do a full-on biblical epic in space, or a Metropolis/Blade Runner/Star Wars sci-fi tale. Either way, too much time elapsed for a Western mythic theme to ostensibly be relevant- in billions of years, will we really believe in God or be moved by the same mythic/religious imagery that speak to us today? especially considering the advances in technology...symbols and imagery in society will have a whole different meaning- Joseph Campbell's thoughts will be long forgotten and washed away. Frank Herbert pulled it off, but he took years to create the complex mythology and religious beliefs- have you read Dune, lately?

I would recommend tightening up the timeline, cutting some of the cliche elements (like Stone sneaking in and stealing the serum- too classic comic/sci-fi). you have potential for a moving and engaging religious/sci-fi epic here- don't lose it by giving into the tropes of the respective genres.

The earth as a Waste Land was overdone when Eliot wrote about it, it's concept stems back to Jessie Weston, von Eschenbach, and the legend of Joseph in Genesis.

If you had come up with this concept in the 1980s, it might have been pretty cool. Now, it seems cliched, overdone, and done better by Scott and Cameron, etc. For your idea to succeed, I would pare down a. the scope of the speculative/fantastic elements of your novel, b. the timeline, c. the 1980s sci-fi elements. Then I would focus on some transcendant human issues, in addition to the issues that arise out of the confines of the plot and characters you have created.

Focus on logical, realistic motivations and conflict. Keep a sense of innocence as well as indeterminacy in events.

Have you watched Chinatown, or read Siddhartha by Hesse? I would do so before moving forward with developing your plot.

Also, the single most important book you need to read and internalize in order for this story to work is From Ritual to Romance, by Jessie Weston.

Overall, this is an above average concept, and a damn sight better than most of the stuff that is posted frequently on this website. But it needs a lot more work to really get off the ground.

Cheers!
asdalhjljh
asdalhjljh - 3/27/2012, 5:56 PM
Also, in the following scene description: "he falls to his doom (they're a top some tall building)." do you know what this building is, and withheld it from us due to length ot post? Or do you merely like the visual of the scene, and the building has no relevance as of yet? Make sure that everything in your story has organic meaning and relevance to the plot- I get the sense that you like some of the images, and built scenes/plot AROUND the images, rather than having them develop naturally from the story. This will always hurt you, as you will be left with a story with strands that emerge from, and go nowhere.
95
95 - 3/27/2012, 6:25 PM
It ALMOST read like an actual Hollywood film summary. You're definitely growing to become a filmmaking force to be reckoned with. Good job!
MrBlueSky
MrBlueSky - 3/27/2012, 6:40 PM
Awesome stuff, dude!! If this were a book, I would definitely read it.
kong
kong - 3/28/2012, 4:24 AM
AWESOME! Dude best thing i've seen on here in a long time!
MovieMaster
MovieMaster - 3/28/2012, 2:04 PM
@darthdanimal- Sorry for the late reply, I've been busy with stuff and only just seen the comments. I'll start off adressing everybody: Thanks for the extremely positive reception! Now back to the reply.

The massive time lapse between time periods is for two reasons. A) to give it some scientific ground. It's common knowledge that the Sun will go into supernova mode in a few billion years, and that of course plays a part of my story. B) This story has major Religious sub-text. I've never seen this done before, and I think it would be amazing if I got it right.

Put yourself in the shoes of a normal human. You've spent all your life being attracted to the natural world, or attached to it in some form. Suddenly, an overwhelming amount of people want to leave this world that you've called home, and instead live in the sky in hovering Utopia's. The benefits are that everybody would be treated equally, there would be no more starvation etc and it's a fresh start from your polluted planet. But, you don't want to leave home.

So you now live in the sky. You've lost to big business and huge corporations, they now control every aspect of your life - you live in a technologically controlled environment. You could never, ever in your life ever believe that you could call this place home. What do you do? Your name is Peter Stone, and you begin to form a rebellion.

Now imagine you are Jonathan Arama. There's still doubt amongst many other people that moving human civilisation to the skies could ever work on a long-term basis. You have a genius idea, to manipulate people into believing you are some kind of God. Over a long period of time, you make people believe that this has always been peoples' home that you created, and you're a God. When this has completely set in, people will believe this. You have, in a way, done away with all previous religion's and created a brand new one, all focused on you.

This idea came to me when I suddenly got interested in Star Wars again. At the moment, Jedi is a real religion. What if, in millions (possibly billions) of years, people forgot that SW was just a movie series? They look back and see that Jedi Knight was a religion in our time and BOOM! They think SW actually happened. Precisely what happens in my story. I get what you mean by that it feels like two different movies at the minute, but honestly this is a very rough summary of the story.

In regards to your question about the tall building, it's merely there as a visual asset. It doesn't matter where the fight takes place, really.
asdalhjljh
asdalhjljh - 3/28/2012, 4:47 PM
@MovieMaster- I really like where you're coming from- good luck with this- i hope it goes really far! I actually wrote up a similarly themed story about 7 years ago (totally different plot) but similar inspiration, themes and character motivations. We'll have to chat about it sometime. best of luck :)
asdalhjljh
asdalhjljh - 3/29/2012, 4:14 PM
i'm curious as to whether "Peter Stone" is a referance to Simon Peter, from the New Testament, whose name, Cephas, means "rock?" as in "upon this rock I will build my church?"

Arama wouldnt have anything to do with Ahriman, would it? The dark side of the zoroastrian dualistic system?
MovieMaster
MovieMaster - 3/30/2012, 12:27 AM
Thanks dude! And no, none of the names were meant to reference any Biblical character's, and I was made aware by somebody else that ironically Arama is the name of a Hindu God :P
comiccow6
comiccow6 - 4/1/2012, 5:31 PM
Really nice premise, I had an idea like this once. Are you still doing the Arkham City project? Thought you said it was coming in January? Anyways, nice job, really nice job , and check out my batman fan fics if you get the chance!
MovieMaster
MovieMaster - 4/3/2012, 2:51 AM
@comiccow6- It was originally coming March 1st, but everything fell apart haha.
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