One a quiet, spring morning, Warner Brothers President Jeff Robinov gathered several of his best minds together. With the lucrative Batman movie series ending in 2012 and the Harry Potter franchise coming to a close this coming summer, Robinov had decided that the DC heroes were the future of Warner Brothers.
Robinov sits at the head of the table, on the other end of the table, on a gold throne, is Christopher Nolan. At Nolan's left is his brother, Jonathan, and on his right is comic scribe/screenwriter David Goyer.
Acclaimed DC comics writer and Hollywood liason, Geoff Johns sits in the middle. Across from is television heavy weight David E. Kelly. Next to Kelly sits Green Lanterndirector Martin Campbell.
In the corner of the room sits once acclaimed director Zack Snyder.
Robinov: Okay team, so the movies with the wizard kids-
Goyer: Harry Potter?
Robinov: Yeah, the pothead kid. That movie comes out in July. We will make a massive killing of that movie! Underage kids and adults that live in their parent's basements will fill out from all around to see it! But after that, we need to think about the future.
Campbell: Well, we do have my movie, Green Lantern, coming out in June!
Robinov: Green Hornet? Didn't that come out already?
Campbell: No, Green Lantern.
Robinov: What? Either way, next year is going to big! We need to make it big before the world ends! Now, Marvel has their superhero team up movie, The Avengers, hitting the big screen. Now, we need to respond and we need to respond big!
Johns: Don't we have The Dark Knight Rises? That should be huge, shouldn't it?
Robinov: Dark Knight Rises? What is that, a porno?
Johns: No it's the third Batman movie.
Robinov stares at Johns blankly.
Johns: The sequel to The Dark Knight
Robinov continues staring at Johns.
Johns: The Dark Knight, the third highest grossing movie of all time. You used the profit to buy another beach house.
Robinov: Ohhhh! The movie with the clown that scares me. We're making a sequel?
Johns: Yeah, Chris is directing it.
Robinov looks at Nolan for confirmation. Nolan glares at Robinov, unblinking, unflinching.
Robinov: I guess that means yes. Anywho, we need to counter! Now, I was channel flipping the other day and came across a show that has some potential called The Super-Friends!
Johns: You mean The Justice League?
Robinov: I like that title! Keep up the good work kid! Now, I think we can prep a Justice League movie, maybe for 2013, but I think that we could make 2012. Just any time before December 21 because after that we won't be here anymore.
Johns: I don't think we should do a JLA movie yet. I mean, we need to establish the characters, their worlds, a villain. The only DC hero to successfully carry a franchise so far has been Batman.
Robinov: Nonsense! I mean look, we got David here doing a Wonder Woman show!
Kelly: What's a Wonder Woman?
Robinov: See? It's going to be a big hit!
Johns: But what about Superman? His last outing really didn't wow audiences.
Zack Snyder steps forward.
Snyder: Don't worry, I'm on it!
Robinov: I thought I smelted failure! Go back to your corner and do speak until spoken too!
Snyder nods, shamed, and returns to the corner.
Campbell: Don't forget, we have The Green Lantern in June too!
Robinov: What?
Campbell: You know, my big expensive superhero movie.
Robinov stares at Campbell blankly, then looks away, confused.
Robinov: Now, we need a writer.
Jonathan Nolan raises his hand excitedly.
J.Nolan: Oh! Oh! Pick me!
Robinov: What was your name again?
J.Nolan: Jonathan Nolan, Chris Nolan's brother. I wrote all three Batman movies and the new Superman movie!
Snyder: Yeah, he did a good job on it.
Robinov: Silence! You're over the for a reason! Now, Nolan, you want to write it?
Nolan nods excitedly.
J.Nolan: My brother Chris says I'm the best screenwriter in the world!
Everyone stares at Chris Nolan, who continues to stare ahead, silent.
Goyer: My question with this JLA movie is Batman. I mean, we've worked hard to make our Batman as un-super as possible. Christian Bale's Batman teaming with other people in spandex won't exactly seem natural.
Robinov: Good point, which is why I went ahead and booked a July 20, 2013 release date for a new Batman reboot.
Johns and Goyer: Reboot!
Robinov: Apparently they're like remakes, but cooler.
J.Nolan: I'll write it!
Goyer: But that's a whole year after The Dark Knight Rises comes out, aren't we jumping the gun?
Robinov: Dark Knight what? Look, people love Batman, they love superheroes, and they love reboots! This should work perfectly.
Johns: Granted that the current Batman series is a reboot, but we had to reboot it because it had been dragged through the mud.
Robinov: Exactly!
Goyer: Exactly?
Robinov: Look, I'm sure Chris Nolan is on board, right Chris?
Chris stares straight ahead, unblinking.
Robinov: I'm sure that means yes. Do you want to produce it too?
Nolan continues staring.
Robinov: See? Chris agrees!
J.Nolan: And I'll write it!
Johns: I don't know if Chris is a person or a robot engineered by studios to make blockbusters that appeal to general audiences and film snobs alike!
Chris Nolan continues staring.
Goyer: Granted, we will probably reboot Batman in a few years anyway, but does it have to be so soon? We have plenty of other DC movies to make.
Johns: Yeah, Wonder Woman has been dying for a movie.
J.Nolan: I'll write it!
Robinov: I told you, David is on it?
Kelly: On what?
Johns: Plus, Superman next year.
J.Nolan: I wrote that!
Robinov: Well I need to have a little talk with Zack about that one. Clearly I need to monitor where my money is going with that guy.
Johns: Green Lantern! We have Marty's Green Lantern movie coming out in June and we haven't done any marketing for it!
Robinov: Green... Lantern? Is that some kind of soup?
Goyer: What Geoff and I are saying is that look at what Marvel is doing. They've been building up to The Avengers since 2008 and it's going to pay off.
Johns: If you want to do the JLA, then we need to do it right. Make all the DC movies as good as you can, plant seeds, cross over characters, build plot lines. Have them all pay off in one big bang, a massive epic movie that could blow The Avengers right out of the water. But it needs to be done right, and we can't blow it off.
Goyer: And if it fails, then you can reboot Batman.
Robinov looks at both men, he opens his mouth to speak, but then hesitates. Finally, he stares both men in the eye.
Robinov: So, I've been catching up on my soaps and this this kid I really like on Days of our Lives and I think he'll be perfect for Batman in the reboot!
Johns: That's it, I'm going to take a shit!
Johns gets up and storms away. Goyer looks around nervously, then at Robinov.
Goyer: So, about that horror movie I pitched you?
Johns: Get me a treatment for the Batman reboot and it's greenlit.
Goyer: Yes sir!