Trailer:
“My father sent them. He wanted me to change into that mindless Hulk! I don’t know why.”
(Neither do we!)
So here we are again with another big name Marvel film. Yes they even felt courageous enough to finally pull out the stops and give the jolly green goliath a go. But unfortunately even with visionary director Ang Lee at the helm, the film suffers from so many faults that it harkens back to the old Marvel films rather than helping to further promote the future one.
Lets start with the basics, namely the plot. Well this will be easy. The plot is simply an origin story and after than Bruce gets captured, escapes, captures again, escapes, and the cycle repeats for the duration of the movie. Everything else that happens is really just sub plot when you think about it. Three villains, three goals and none of them well balanced or taking priority over the other.
But the first half of the film is taken up by an overly long, overly convoluted origin story as to how the Hulk was created. It begins in a flashback where David Banner, father of Bruce, injects himself with a serum that according to his notes is meant to do 50 different things. Hey idiot! Separate them out and maybe they might work. Instead he creates an all purpose formula to strengthen the human immune system. The effects of the formula are passed to his infant son.
Honestly the mother must have been a moron not to notice that her son turns green every time he gets hurt or angry. Anyways the father decides to then try and cure his son…despite the formula having the exact effect he wanted, then turns around and attempts to kill him and blow up his laboratory.
This is where a big issue begins to form. David Banner’s (Nick Nolte) motivations throughout the film make no sense. You can argue it’s his insanity but I say it’s sloppy writing. He can’t seem to make up his mind if he wants to help Bruce or kill him. First he gives him the formula (which apparently works), then tries to “cure” him, then tries to kill him, then tries to protect him, then tries to kill him again, and it goes back and forth for the entire duration of the movie. This is not the actor’s fault though, but the writers. In fact Nolte probably gave the best performance in the movie.
As usual in the 2000’s the makers considered radioactivity “so the 20th century” and decided to copy Spider-Man with genetic engineering. Why not complicate it further through with the use of nanomites (or nanobots). So apparently the Hulk’s powers are now triggered by little robots in his bloodstream.
The movie’s writing is the most chaotic thing I have seen in a superhero film in a while. The dialogue has no subtly as everyone states exactly what is happening. Such as “That’s Bruce, his emotions all bottled up”. Thanks. I got that, I’m not four years old. It tries to convince you that these are the characters from the comics by explaining it, rather than showing it. But the main issue is it tries to treat this like a conventional superhero film when the Hulk is anything but that. He is the definition of an antihero and can’t be treated like a goody two shoes Boy Scout that only beats up on the villains and their minions.
On top of that the movie suffers from awful CGI that makes the Hulk look like he belongs in a Shrek movie by both quality AND design. He looks like a CGI blob more akin to Gumby than a mass of muscle. The fight scenes as a result don’t hold up even though some of them, such as the desert chase scene and the knock off Absorbing Man battle, where well written out on paper. It just becomes a cheesy cartoon and since no one can hurt the Hulk, it’s doubly bad without any real stakes.
The editing is also one big issues. The multiple frame sequences are meant to emulate a comic book but are just obnoxious and hard to watch. What do they think this is? 24? This is the Hulk, not Jack Bower. Also there are scene transitions that are so overly stylized that they make the rest of the movie feel way more corny than it normally would have.
When looking at the characters both Betty (Jennifer Connelly) and Bruce (Eric Bana) are kind of dull. Betty says every line with watery eyes and looking like she is about to cry. As for Bana, he plays everything over the top to the point where it almost becomes delightfully comedic. In fact the only good comedy in this film was the unintentional kind. The rest came off as cringe worthy. The only two, real commendable actors are Nick Nolte as David Banner and Sam Elliot as Thunderbolt Ross. They at least provide the movie with a little life. Even Ross’s portrayal here was interesting as he wasn’t so much a bad guy as just a horrible father trying to do his job.
The music, by Danny Elfman disappointingly lacks a punch. It isn’t obnoxious like Daredevil’s but the high pitch strings (similar to horror films) comes off more silly than edgy. It sounds like it was taken out of The Nutcracker, which would be a compliment if this were a ballet. As a fan of Elfman’s work it is a heartbreaking detractor.
So what good can I say about it? The film most likely was visually impressive when it first came out and, though cartoonish now, the fight scenes are imaginative. The problem is in the fact that they don’t hold up. The film is also really funny…not in any way it intended but because there is just so much to laugh at and make fun of. This at least keeps the viewing experience interesting, as the drama is too mediocre to even be noteworthy. It really is an example of almost being so bad, it’s good…..almost.
In the end through the movie is extremely off balanced and a catastrophe of characters, subplots, and backstory. It is dull, corny, and silly. I would really like to know who came up with the mutant poodle idea and who thought the purple pants should be Banners undies….he must have a million pairs of those things. This is one of the biggest disappointments in Marvel’s 2000 library. With all the talent in the cast and crew it’s just a shame it couldn’t pull together.
FINAL RATING: 2/10- (20%)
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