I have always thought myself to be a vast reservoir of useless information. Like, the how they came up with the idea of "The Transporter" in "Star Trek," and you should always mix the butter with the noodles, before the powdered cheese and milk when making macaroni. Makes the cheese stick better. I happen to think that is actually pretty useful. And I had always thought I had a pretty good handle on figuring out why people do some of the things they do... until now. The logic behind DC's latest move is completely beyond me. Dan Didio has obviously forgotten what happened in the 60's, the last time they jumped the shark.
As of this past Wednesday, June 30th, DC has rebooted Wonder Woman. I will pause here for dramatic effect. Not that I honestly see anything wrong with reboots. The new "Star Trek" movie was great and created a lot more fans. However, there is a line. You still have to play to the strengths of what you are rebooting and keep it familiar to its fans. This has not been done.
First and foremost, what is the most recognizable thing about Wonder Woman? What is the first thing you think of? Her costume. You get a glimpse of a even a quarter of an inch of those star spangled spankies and you know right away to whom they belong. Not only her costume, her physical appearance altogether! Wondie is an Amazon. This makes her taller than almost all of her peers including Superman. Being an Amazonian warrior also makes her quite muscular and defined. She has trained for centuries and you should be able to tell this. Take a look at what they have come up with below. Make sure you take in every detail. Get the full effect. No, you are not looking at a Gothic version or Rogue, it's the new freakin' Wonder Woman.
The first thing I actually noticed was the complete lack of Americana. The star spangled spankies are gone, and in their place: black stretch pants. She is a symbol, an icon. She represents so much of American morals and ideals. And that was always apparent by her ever present American flag motif. They have also given her that snazzy jacket there. I guess it gets a bit chilly when you're doing all that running around, fighting crime, and all. They also cut her hair, took her tiara and gave her a fancy Pat Benetar head band. And look at her boots. What's with the spur straps? Did they trade the Invisible Jet for an Invisible Horse too?
J. Michael Straczynski, who has captained this transformation, has made reference to several "complaints" from female readers regarding how revealing her suit was. "How does she keep things from popping out?" He has informed us that he has heard from those readers. I guess he is completely disregarding what happened in 1968. Back then DC Comics thought they were doing feminists a favor by stripping Wondie of her suit and powers. The gave her a white cat suit, and put her under the "training" of an old Chinese man. Yeah feminists loved that. They took away her sexuality, her powers, and put her UNDER a man. Shortly after, DC admitted they had made a mistake and put things back the way they were. This is due in part to Gloria Steinem basically calling them out on the cover of the very first issue of "Ms. Magazine."
Steinem understood what apparently the men in charge after Marston, her creator, left failed to. Feminism isn't about policing apparel or exposing exploitation. It's about choice. If you wanna wear a sweat suit and hide what God gave ya, do it! If you want to fight evil and fly around the world in American flag underwear, high heeled boots, and fantastic hair: DO IT! That was part of the WONDER of Wonder Woman! The character never sacrificed her femininity or sexuality for strength and power. She has always been a balance of all of those things. Something I think society lacks quite a bit these days. A woman can only be powerful, respected, and taken seriously when she doesn't dress or "act" like a woman? Don't misunderstand me, I'm not stating that you're not a woman if you don't dress like a girl, I'm just saying it's a bit ridiculous that so much of what we are thought to be capable is based on our window dressing.
But with Wondie, it's never been just window dressing. Every single article of her garb and physical appearance has deep meaning. Because comic book characters are just that, we need visual aides to give us insights and depth to their personalities. Allow me to illustrate figuratively.
Diana of Themyscira is tall and muscular. This symbolizes that she is a force. She is powerful and should be respected. That one is obvious, I am certain. Next, she has long hair. This represents femininity and softness. Not only is she powerful, but she is loving and can be submissive. You also have her large breasts. I know what you're thinking, and you are most likely wrong. They aren't solely for sexual appeal. But I will give you that. Gotta give the people something to see. But, seriously, large breasts have long been a symbol of maternity and fertility in women. Wonder Woman is based on Greek mythology. Of course she would have aspects of Greek Goddesses. It's just science. William Moulton Marston was a clinical psychologist, for crying out loud. He had purpose behind creating her this way. You strip those things away and you no longer have Wonder Woman. In fact I'm sure I'm not alone in saying this, but, I immediately thought she looked more like Wonder Girl circa Young Justice. All she needs are goggles.
With all of this said, they cut her hair, made her shorter, skinnier, removed muscle definition, and gave her a breast reduction. Aside from the very obvious physical changes, they also changed her history. They now have her being smuggled off the island of Themyscira avoiding slaughter. Her mother and almost all of the Amazons have been slain after the gods have for some reason lifted their protection and the island is attacked. So now she has grown up in an "urban setting" with the two Amazonian guards that smuggled her out. For almost seventy years writers have tried to differentiate her from Superman. With one issue they have made her a female, Earthling copy of Supes. Why not just give her a cape? Let me guess, her weakness is irradiated chunks of Paradise Island?
J. Michael Straczynski stated this about the "re-imagining" of the world's first female superhero: “She’s been locked into pretty much the exact same outfit since her debut in 1941,” Mr. Straczynski wrote. “If you’re going to make a statement about bringing Wonder Woman into the 21st century, you need to be bold and you need to make it visual. I wanted to toughen her up, and give her a modern sensibility. What woman only wears only one outfit for 60-plus years?”
Well, Mr. Straczynski, since you seem to be so keen on copying Superman so much, I have this fact to point out. I have never much cared for Superman's costume. I think it's kinda pointless. You want to point out form following function to the New York Times? Then please explain the cape to me? Or that yellow belt? Does it actually carry or hold anything? But, I haven't seen ANYONE ripping off his tights and making him put on a decent pair of pants. Because you CAN'T. Whether or not I think it was ever the best wardrobe decision for the most powerful man on the planet to wear blue panty hose and red boots, it doesn't matter. He and by extension, his costume, are iconic. How about we go back and change Rosie the Riveter, make her put on dress. Or we could go even further back and take Thor's hammer away. It's a little cumbersome anyway, how about we give him a nice ruler instead.
Jim Lee, designed the new Wondie Suit, even went so far as to blame the Wondie Suit for the fact that a Wonder Woman movie has yet to be made! He believes that this new suit is more "movie marketable" and that you could totally see Angelina Jolie wearing this on screen. Oh please. I'm not even going to pretend that you all don't know how I feel about her playing Wondie. Actresses aren't lining up just to wear a leather jacket and they certainly aren't dressing up in black spandex pants on Halloween advertising how badly they want the role. They want to wear that red and gold bustier and those, let's hear it one more time, star spangled spankies! They want WONDER WOMAN! Not quasi-biker chick from the mean streets of whatever town they are making her from now.
Am I making my point clear? I hate saying things like this because I don't want to sound like a whiner or making excuses but honestly. They do it because she's a girl. They say they are doing this reboot to breath new life into dwindling sales. I, or ANY fan or writer worth anything, can give a MUCH better suggestion than changing the ONE recognizable thing she has. Wonder Woman has always lacked a good rogues gallery. Always. How many "layman" can name off even three of her villains? I can barely make it to six and I'm supposed to be an expert! But I bet you anything, you pick Joe Schmo off the street and they can name five from Superman and Batman without even thinking. She has had some good stories over the last seventy years, but, only a handful are memorable. Wondie dealt more with social issues than "bad guys." Just give her more "meat" in the writing! Beef up Cheetah or even Dr. Psycho. Make them actually threatening. It's not that hard. Hell, I bet it would be a lot easier than re-doing her completely and pissing off seventy years worth of fans for the second time in forty years.
J. Michael Straczynski, Jim Lee (designed the new suit also used to ink for Marvel), and Dan Didio, I am begging you. Quit screwing with my home girl. I am not re-doing my bedroom decor because you got a wild hair across your ass to play dress up. (FYI my boudoir might as well be a Wonder Woman shrine) It's not our fault that you haven't been able to write her any decent stories lately. I am not going to lose my fictional hero simply because you lack creativity for a strong female character. Hire new writers. I have a little bit of free time, I could totally pitch in. I will have to check my schedule. And if one of the bands I manage has a thing that day then, you know, out of the question. But, I would love to give you some pointers.
*TM J. Michael Heilig