Fancast: GI Joe: A Real American Hero (Expanded)

Yo Joe! Check out this cast for a GI Joe reboot!

Fan Fic Opinion

This is essentially a remake of my previous GI Joe fancast. I'll just be adding a few more characters, how I want each team to be portrayed, a basic plot, and the weapons that I would like to see each character use (I am a connoisseur of firearms). I have put the guns' names in layman's terms so everybody who has played Modern Warfare 2 or Black Ops can recognize them.

First off, the only good things about "The Rise Cobra" was the action sequences, Dennis Quaid as Hawk, and Christopher Eccleston as Destro. Everything else was terrible. But the most unforgivable thing about the movie was Channing Tatum as Duke. The guy sucks at acting and the only reason why he's popular is that girls think he's hot.

Anyway, the basic plot outline is this:

Cobra Commander, the leader of the terrorist group known as Cobra, has been kept in a maximum security prison for almost 2 years. However, he is brken out by a group of Cobra soldiers lead by Zartan, Major Bludd, and Firefly. After freeing him, Destro (a weapons dealer working for Cobra) reveals an EMP (Electromagnetic Pulse) bomb, which will be used to take down America's defense forces, allowing Cobra to easily invade it (since they have more advance weaponry, also supplied by Destro). However, there is only one thing standing in the way: the GI Joes, an anti-terrorist freedom force lead by Duke, who are responsible for Cobra Commander's capture in the first place.

Anyway, for a director, I'd like to have Len Wiseman. He directed the first two "Underworld" films, the fourth Die Hard film, and he is now making a remake of "Total Recall" (which will combine elements of the Philip K. Dick story and the original movie).

For the score, I'd like The Chemical Brothers to do it. They did the score for "Hanna" and I want them to incorporate the original theme into it.

Anyway, here's the cast:

GI Joe:

In my version, the Joes were created in the aftermath of the September 11th attacks (along with Homeland Security). Their base "The Pit" is a secret facility located 20 miles underneath the Mojave Desert. The team is made up of the Military's best and brightest.

Aaron Eckhart as Duke: Real name is Conrad Hauser, who has served in the Gulf War and the Invasion of Iraq. He is fluent in French, German, and several South Asian languages.

Duke's preferred weapon: An M4 Rifle fitted with an M26 Module Accessory Shotgun System and reflex sight (the same weapon that Dwayne Johnson used in "Fast Five"). Also carries a pair of Colt .45 hanguns.

Reason for Casting: Eckhart is a good actor (unlike Channing Tatum), and if you have seen "Battle: Los Angeles", you know he would be pretty badass as Duke.

Ray Park as Snake Eyes: A martial arts master, who primarily uses ninjutsu as his form of fighting. He is mute due to scarring near his vocal cords.

Snake Eyes' preferred weapon: A katana, along with a pair of trench knifes and a bandoiler of stun grenades.

Reason for Casting: I decided to give Ray Park a second chance, since he has the right athletic ability to portray Snake Eyes.

Harrison Ford as General Hawk: The head of operations, who served in Vietnam (surviving the Tet Offensive) and was a member of Delta Force in the late 80's. He is crippled below the waist (from a previous encounter with Cobra), and uses a wheelchair to move around.

Reason for Casting: Although Dennis Quaid was great as Hawk, I wanted to try someone new. I decided to use Ford after seeing him in "Patriot Games" and "Clear and Present Danger".

Emily Blunt as Scarlett:An intellegance officer who is trained in hand-to-hand combat.

Scarlett's preferred weapon: A miniaturized crossbow that fires special bolts.

Reason for Casting: Blunt was originally going to play Black Widow in "Iron Man 2", so decided that she would make an equally good Scarlett.

Don Cheadle as Stalker: One of the founding members of the Joes, who sevres as a medic and an interpreter.

Stalker's preferred weapon: An M4 rifle fitted with an M203 Grenade Launcher. Also carries a Colt .45.

Reason for Casting: I thought he would make a good Stalker after seeing him in "Traitor".

Terry Crews as Roadblock: A strong, hearty man who serves as the Joe's machine gunner. He has a strong passion for good food and also serves as a cook.

Roadblock's preferred weapon: A SAW light machine gun or a handheld minigun.

Reason for Casting: Terry is a dead on Roadblock. If you don't believe me, go out and see "The Expendables".

Danny Masterson as Shipwreck: A former Navy SEAL, who serves as a Gunner's Mate and machinist (along with Cover Girl. He keeps a green McCaw parrot named Polly as a pet.

Shipwreck's preferred weapon: A MP5 submachine gun and a SIG P226 pistol.

Reason for Casting: I know what you guys are thinking: "WTF is Hyde doing here?". But seriously, Masterson has proven himself to be a serious actor in "The Bridge to Nowhere". I also wanted a bit of comic relief in this movie. Plus Shipwreck is my favorite Joe.

Katee Sackhoff as Cover Girl: A tank jockey and mechanic, who specializes in a Wolverine missile tank.

Cover Girl's preferred weapon: A military standard issue M9 pistol.

Reason for Casting: I was kind of annoyed that Cover Girl was played by a Czechoslovakian supermodel in the 2009 GI Joe film. I decided to use Sackhoff after seeing her as Kara "Starbuck" Thrace on "Battlestar Galactica".

Cobra Command:

My version, I want Cobra Command be really evil. They have a fascist influence to them (similar to the terrorist groups ETA and the OAS). This movie will have Cobra Island in it, which will be an artificially man made island 200 kilometers from Bikini Atoll. They will have advance weaponry, but it won't be laser guns (too cartoonish in my taste). They'll be based off of real world firearms with a few modifications (the Cobra soldiers main rifle will be based on a FN F2000 assault rifle and is said to fire which fires 5.56mm explosive tipped, caseless ammunition).

Mads Mikkelsen as Cobra Commander: The mysterious and notorious head of Cobra Command, who wears a hood with the Cobra emblem to hide his identity.

Cobra Commander's preferred weapon: FN FiveSeven handgun.

Reason for Casting: Mikkelsen played an excellent villain in "Casino Royale". For Cobra Commander's voice, I wanted it to be a mix Chris Latta's voice from the 80's cartoon series and Mikkelsen's Danish accent.

Robert Carlyle as Destro: Real name is James McCullen, a Scottish arms dealer provides Cobra with advanced weaponry. He wears a mask of beryllium steel and is romantically involved with Baroness.

Reason for Casting: I did not just cast Carlyle because of the fact that he is Scottish, but he played a brilliant Bond villain in "The World is Not Enough".

Monica Bellucci as The Baroness: Cobra's lieutenant and intelligence officer, whose beauty is only matched by her ruthlessness. She is romantically involved with Destro.

The Baroness' preferred weapon: Dual Skorpion machine pistols.

Reason for Casting: I wanted The Baroness to have an accent, so I chosed Bellucci. Also, Bellucci was great in "Irreversible" (which rivals "The Human Centipede" in Frakked upness).

Mark Strong as Zartan: A master of disguise who can take on the physical and vocal likeness of anybody with holograpgic technology.

Zartan's preferred weapon: Heckler & Koch Mk. 23 pistol with a silencer.

Reason for Casting: I thought Mark would be a good Zartan after seeing him in "Sherlock Holmes".

Louis Ozawa Changchien as Strom Shadow: Cobra Commander's Ninja bodyguard, who has a blood fued with Snake Eyes.

Storm Shadow's preferred weapon: A katana and shurikens.

Reason for Casting: If you've seen "Predators", you know that he would be a kick ass Storm Shadow.

Hugo Weaving as Major Bludd: An Australian mercenary and one of Cobra Commander's lieutenants.

Major Bludd's preferred weapon: A Steyr AUG assault rifle and a 9mm Glock pistol.

Reason for Casting: Hugo can always play an excellent villain and he would make an excellent Bludd (plus, he's Australian).

Jason Statham as Firefly: A balaclava wearing mercenary who is used as a saboteur and a demolitions expert.

Firefly's preferred weapon: A UMP-45 submachine gun.

Reason for Casting: Statham's a total badass and would own the role of Firefly.

Mathieu Amalric as Tomax and Xamot: Twins who were formally apart of the French Foreign League, now the head of Cobra Command's Crimson Guard. The have an emphatic link, allowing them to finish each others' sentences and feel each others pain.

Tomax and Xamot's preferred weapon: Colt .45 pistol.

Reason for Casting: He played a brilliant villain in "Quantum of Solace".

Please leave your thoughts and comments below!!

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