Spider-Man: Turn Off The Dark Universally Panned By Critics!

Spider-Man: Turn Off The Dark Universally Panned By Critics!

How did the critics rate it on opening night? Hit the jump to hear what they had to say, including the opinion that the musical is one of the, "worst things, if not the worst, I've ever seen on Broadway"...

By JoshWilding - Feb 08, 2011 06:02 AM EST
Filed Under: Other
Source: THR

New York Times:

"Directed by Julie Taymor, who wrote the show's book with Glen Berger, and featuring songs by U2's Bono and The Edge, Spider-Man is not only the most expensive musical ever to hit Broadway; it may also rank among the worst."


New York Post:

"[It's] equal parts exciting and atrocious...constantly seesawing between the galvanizing and the lame. The flying sequences can be thrilling, as when Spider-Man first takes off over the orchestra; other times, they look barely good enough for Six Flags, the harnesses making the movements clunky."


The Hollywood Reporter:

"The big shock when sitting down finally to assess this $65 million web-slinging folly, is what a monumental anti-climax it turns out to be. Spider-Man is chaotic, dull and a little silly. And there's nothing here half as catchy as the 1967 ABC cartoon theme tune."


Gawker:

"The book is a travesty, the music is lazy and awful—it's like listening to the scraps left on the floor after U2 recorded "Hold Me, Thrill Me, Kiss Me, Kill Me"—and the actors, including the voice-cracking lead Reeve Carney, are just not up to the vague, sloppy task set before them. If every flying element worked pretty much perfectly, as it did when I saw it, the show is still one of the worst things, if not the worst, I've ever seen on Broadway."


Los Angeles Times:

"This is, after all, her vision, and it's a vision that has been indulged with too many resources, artistic and financial... The investors of Spider-Man have inadvertently bankrolled an artistic form of megalomania. The book, by Taymor and Glen Berger, is an absolute farrago, setting up layers and subplots before the main narrative line has been established."





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MoodyMax
MoodyMax - 2/8/2011, 6:35 AM
Did any of us seriously think it was going to be anything other than horrible? Come on, now.
SeaSerpentine
SeaSerpentine - 2/8/2011, 6:38 AM
I knew it.
Amazo
Amazo - 2/8/2011, 6:46 AM
We could have told them all this months ago! lol
MarkCassidy
MarkCassidy - 2/8/2011, 6:46 AM
Doh!
JohnnyKrypton
JohnnyKrypton - 2/8/2011, 6:49 AM
Hate to say I...well...you know
ReillyParker
ReillyParker - 2/8/2011, 6:49 AM
Well there's always of Spidey just falling down and busting in the the audience in front of you. I'd say that's entertaining.
StrangerX
StrangerX - 2/8/2011, 6:50 AM
I'm getting the feeling this show is incredibly bad. Or how about Amazingly horrible. Perhaps Surprisingly stupid.
Mysterion
Mysterion - 2/8/2011, 6:52 AM
Here is a pic of one of the investors who put up the 65 million reading the reviews this morning.
facepalm Pictures, Images and Photos
Crazyhorrormovienerd
Crazyhorrormovienerd - 2/8/2011, 6:53 AM
I've only read one good review of it and it was on IGN. Surprisingly they gave it an 8.
marvel72
marvel72 - 2/8/2011, 6:54 AM
it maybe shit,but stan "the man" lee loves it.
Mysterion
Mysterion - 2/8/2011, 6:57 AM
But you know what for all the bad reviews it’s receiving, its still selling out shows, I guess the only question is…how long will that last.
MoodyMax
MoodyMax - 2/8/2011, 7:05 AM
Yeah, but Stan Lee also shit his pants this morning,so...
Xandera
Xandera - 2/8/2011, 7:07 AM
This hasn't been cancelled yet?
danwgriff
danwgriff - 2/8/2011, 7:11 AM
I would have to relate Spiderman and the show to a long night of drinking. Spiderman as the alcohol in its many different forms, you start with beer, then a shot, more shots, jello shots, body shots, out of a fish bowl.... Everybody is having fun. Until the end of the night when you have that great idea to mix four drinks together and what comes up SPIDERMAN the Musical!!! BLEHHHHHHHH!!!!

@ Mysterion- Seriously, everyone likes to watch projectile vomit.
InFamouslyCool
InFamouslyCool - 2/8/2011, 7:14 AM
it sucks.
ThaMessenger07
ThaMessenger07 - 2/8/2011, 7:14 AM
@ Idoit4lolz: Please do that! LMAO *"Mi a Name I Call Myself"*
ragincajun25
ragincajun25 - 2/8/2011, 7:17 AM
Ok ive seen it twice and honestly it i really liked it. The music is nowhere near as bad as they are saying. there are like 4 songs that are really horrible but other than that they are all really good. They are just goin in with a terrible attitude cause its a spiderman musical and they are assuming its gonna be awful. Go see it and judge for yourself.
SpideyQuad
SpideyQuad - 2/8/2011, 7:21 AM
Maybe it would do better on ice, like Ice Capades?

Oh wait ... Batman & Robin ... already done
superdog
superdog - 2/8/2011, 7:25 AM
i wasnt opposed to this on some philisophical ground of "dont make a spiderman musical" like apparently everyone else was. it certainly could have worked. apparently it doesnt here but its no different than a movie that could have been great but missed the mark with writing and direction or bad cgi. its not a bad idea, just a bad play. happens all the time.
Slashercon
Slashercon - 2/8/2011, 7:28 AM
This musical sucking was a no-brainer.
ThunderCougarFalconBird
ThunderCougarFalconBird - 2/8/2011, 8:03 AM
Hardly surprising! The whole project had pretentious bullshit written all over it from the start.

Photobucket Pictures, Images and Photos
Amazo
Amazo - 2/8/2011, 8:03 AM
@Blanka
Stan Lee likes anything with his name on or that he recieves a royalty check for lol
NERO
NERO - 2/8/2011, 8:04 AM
Now that there is some vindication for those who knew superhero and musical are two things that should never be linked in the same sentence, does anyone want to start laying bets on how long this turd will funk up Broadway with its presence?

Given the limited number of comic fans who wanted to see this in the first place, the backlash from the terrible reviews in normal theatergoers, and the influx of people who just like to see a train wreck (I do too, just not one that takes three and a half hours to unfold. I'd off myself by the second act.), I think I'd give this thing one month to six weeks tops before they bolt the doors.

I love how the LA Time said the whole effort was just to feed the megalomania of Taymor, the director, did they forget BONO was one of the driving creative, financial forces of this thing, his megalomania is the only reason it was made. No one pours 65 million bucks into a musical that is panned from the moment of inception, plagued with technical problems and injuries, cast walkouts, public derision, and near universal disdain from the very audience it seeks to target without an ego as large or pockets as deep as Bono's to force it through. The whole thing has been a screaming example of megalomania, just nice to see someone had the balls to say it.
NightmareB4
NightmareB4 - 2/8/2011, 8:06 AM
@Crazyhorrormovienerd Because IGN has a 'credible' theatre section...oh wait, they don't HAVE a theatre section

I had my reservations the moment it was announced but the MOMENT my friend started working merchandise and let me come in to see a preview...I just knew it was the worst piece of filth to ever grace the 'Great White Way.'

Particularly the 'villain fashion show' when Arachne unveils Swiss Miss and one her 'Geek" sidekicks say, and I quote

"This is Swiss Miss...I just made her up!"
thatiscrazy
thatiscrazy - 2/8/2011, 8:11 AM
haha... gotta love it. Rich money people just dont get it.
supertrackmonkey
supertrackmonkey - 2/8/2011, 8:12 AM
This is interesting since THE PLAY DOESN'T EVEN OPEN TILL MARCH 15th!!!!!

I've heard that the play has gotten better since the last rewrites. The 2nd and 3rd acts now make sense. I have tickets for the March 12th show, I'll let you guys know how it is.
Angelus
Angelus - 2/8/2011, 8:12 AM
JohnnyKrypton
JohnnyKrypton - 2/8/2011, 8:13 AM
@superdog
It's not so much a philosophical thing as a practical one- the show would have to be twice as good as the average "successful" show just to overcome Broadway snobbery, and even then a good portion of the traget audience would still be priced out of it. The films did big business in large part because of kids; taking your 2-3 kids to see a Spidey film will run you about $25-$30 for tickets, while the musical would cost $200-$1000, depending on seating. Investing $165 mil on that type of crapshoot is just a poor investment strategy and all but doomed from the start even if it were good.
NERO
NERO - 2/8/2011, 8:17 AM
@ supertrackmonkey, I can't believe you actually seem to be glad you wasted money on the tickets.

Think about what you just wrote: "I've heard that the play has gotten better since the last rewrites. The 2nd and 3rd acts now make sense." IT TOOK REWRITES TO EVEN HAVE THIS PLAY MAKE SENSE!!! lol, It existed for over a year, people looking at the script everyday and noone had the eye to see that the story had no logical ending.

That is hardly a glowing recomendation to see the thing, much less to spend god only knows how much cash to go see it.
Betty
Betty - 2/8/2011, 8:17 AM
Sounds great! Does Stan the Man make a cameo?
superan
superan - 2/8/2011, 8:19 AM
hmm, superheroes and musicals don't usually mesh well...lol still, seems interesting to watch for that fact alone =)
JoshWilding
JoshWilding - 2/8/2011, 8:24 AM
What a shame. As superdog said, it really could have been an interesting take on the character, but it seems to me as if Julie Taymor has really [frick]ed this up. The problem? She clearly didn't look at the comic books (the first two acts apparently steal pretty much everything from the first two movies) and decided to go her own way...resulting in one hell of an epic fail.
JohnnyKrypton
JohnnyKrypton - 2/8/2011, 8:26 AM
@Josh W
You mean Peter didn't get his costume from a Greek spider goddess in the comics? lol
superdog
superdog - 2/8/2011, 8:41 AM
supermonkey@ im going to new york this summer and i will buy a ticket to see it. i dont care what the naysayers say. itll still be better than going with the wife to see jersey boys :)

johny@ i see your point but one could have said the same thing about the lion king or the little mermaid. those were basically kids movies. they made there millions off of families buying the cheaper tickets at the movies just like spiderman. however those were very successful plays because they were done really well and got great reviews and critical acclaim. the same thing could have happened here. most people that go to broadway arent snobs, there tourist. and they will see whatever is hot and good. and even the snobs would go because it would be the newest "cool" thing to do. the fact that it (apparently) sucks is what will kill it, not the fact that its spiderman.
JohnnyKrypton
JohnnyKrypton - 2/8/2011, 9:19 AM
@superdog
You make some good points, but in the eyes of many of the Broadway "elite" (read: critics and rich folk) Disney (and Elton John) is far more acceptable than comic books. Check out the snarky reviews and you can almost hear the condescension: "...reviewing (or quasi-reviewing) a production while it was still being worked on was akin to seeing the "Mona Lisa" before the paint had dried — a rather strange line of reasoning for a commercial musical based on a comic book character who shoots sticky webs from his wrists." Not exactly an open mind there.

While it's true a good portion of theatergoers (about 2/3) are tourists, they generally aren't the ones buying the $275 tickets which are needed to keep a show going. But you're right; if the show was hands-down amazing, it would be a hit. I'm just saying the way they went about this version was poorly conceived from day one.


Mathbat
Mathbat - 2/8/2011, 9:30 AM
Wow--this is harsh even from this [frick]ing site. First, the very idea that a comic character could be the subject of a huge Broadway musical means that the powers that be are starting to take us, as fans, seriously. Up to now, we have been incredibly lucky that Hollywood gives a shit about us, but Broadway? Un-[frick]ing-likely. Second, actually READ the reviews before shooting off your mouth. The critics just decided to act as if it was opening night because it had been announced at one point that it would be. They pretended it was in its final form because they had been sharpening their knives for awhile and couldn't wait another minute to savage the play. They, apparently like most of us, HATED the idea that it was so expensive and had so many problems, so they jumped the gun on the opening and tried to gang-[frick] it. Doesn't it seem odd that ALL the critics from the big papers decided to do this at the same time? Like maybe it had been a coordinated thing? My guess is that if someone had released the Green Lantern movie without completed effects shots, and claimed it was the finished product, you would cry foul. Third, MOST superhero projects are "universally panned". Does that mean they suck? I don't know---I actually have to see the finished product and make my own call.
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