Punisher: Turd Zone

This review will save you 2 hours of your life if you haven't seen the movie yet.

Review Opinion
By CBMcontributor - Dec 14, 2008 11:12 PM EST
Filed Under: Punisher: War Zone

Ok, there is so much wrong with this movie its not funny. The one good thing was Ray Stevenson, who starred in Rome and King Arthur. Besides him, this movie has nothing. Wayne Knight, who was not only Newman on Seinfeld but Dennis Nedry in Jurassic Park, was totally pointless. Anyone could have played the part of Chip. Dominic West, who hit his peak as the lead guitar player for the Steel Dragons in Rock Star, was a pure moron. Before his character got all messed up he talked with a thick New York accent. And when I say thick, I mean over done to the point that makes you sick. Then after he becomes Jigsaw, well lets make it sound even dumber. The makeup should have been better but he just looked like Gary Oldman in Hannibal. There were no other actors anyone in the world would care about. There is a cop played by Dash Mihok that was one of the most useless characters in history. Who the F*@k is Dash Mihok? He was in his prime back in 1996 when he played Benvolio in the Leonardo Dicaprio Romeo and Juliet. Yeah that guy.
Lets go to actual stuff about the film now. The Dolph Lundgren Punisher movie was on the same level as this. Yeah if you don't know of that skid mark of comic movie history, look it up. There was so much overuse of neon lights in this film you would have thought Joel Schumacher was making another Batman movie. There was about as much unnecessary gore to make Planet Terror look clean. The violence was so over the top and stupid it was like watching somebody play Grand Theft Auto 4. Well, not really because in GTA4 its pretty damn tough to shoot a guy who is jumping through the air with an RPG. But they did it in this "movie". I know a manager at the theater I saw this at so I got in for free, and I still feel cheated. Don't get me wrong, I'm lazy and have done almost nothing with my life, but I felt cheated out of time I will never get back. I saw some buttholes saying that this was better than the Thomas Jane/ John Travolta Punisher movie..... it wasn't. The 2004 film had its flaws, but if you watch Punisher: War Zone and think its better than that, than may God have mercy on your soul. The budget was around $35 million. It all went towards fake blood and neon lights. This film makes Speed Racer look like The Dark Knight. I honestly can't stress how bad this film is. Just avoid it at all costs. Your life will be much more enjoyable if you do.

Related:

Lexi Alexander Reflects On Directing PUNISHER: WAR ZONE; "Everything That Was B-Movie-Ish Was A Deliberate Choice"

Recommended For You:

Lexi Alexander Director of Punisher: War Zone Reveals Freddie Prinze Jr. Was Almost Jigsaw

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iNsaneMilesy
iNsaneMilesy - 12/15/2008, 12:24 AM
Ghost rider bad but both watchable and likeable if your a MARVEL fan. Or bad as in just bad?
MarkCassidy
MarkCassidy - 12/15/2008, 9:48 AM
i watched this yesterday and while i wouldnt say its quite as bad as out friend up there..its pretty terrible. marvel fan or not
denvel
denvel - 12/21/2008, 9:46 AM
Are you familiar with the Punisher comic? You do know that all he does is kill bad guys. I thought it was a great Punisher movie, but then I wasn't expecting Casablanca, I was expecting the Punisher. If you don't know, that means 2 hours of killing.
TheGreenArrow1
TheGreenArrow1 - 12/23/2008, 11:47 PM
I agree with the guy up top, but the movie was still pretty bad. I prefer the 2004 version. Although this movie isnt as bad as the 1989 version.Anyone heard of the 1989 punisher? I thought so....
Gose
Gose - 12/26/2008, 5:58 PM
Its a comicbook movie, if yr not a comicbook fan, you'll never gonna like the movie....
quinnymahon2008
quinnymahon2008 - 12/30/2008, 1:56 PM
being a marvel fan i liked dis movie
JHowlett
JHowlett - 1/11/2009, 2:39 AM
I've read my share of Punisher comics and I really thought that this movie stayed true to the source material. Maybe that was the problem though Punisher is not something everybody would like and neither is this movie for me it was like watching a Punisher MAX comic
farmboy
farmboy - 1/15/2009, 12:01 PM
i still want to see it punisher is one of my all time favorite heroes. or should i say "anti-hero"
Burns2k
Burns2k - 2/11/2009, 7:19 PM
why was tommas jane not in punisher 2??? he was awesome as the punisher but yeah with war zone and the lame ass!!!!! ghost rider it ust seems marvel wanted a quick buck
BartonIsHawkeye88
BartonIsHawkeye88 - 3/1/2009, 11:09 PM
first off: thomas jane looks like a girly man next to the new guy

2nd: JHowlett's right... If you weren't expecting there to be gore in the Punisher movie, well... your an idiot.
All he DOES is kill people and not the nice and friendly kinda way either
10THTIGER
10THTIGER - 1/28/2010, 12:05 PM
PUNISHER WAR ZONE WAS KICK ASS!!!!IDK WHAT THE HELL ERRBODY TLKN BOUT FRANK CASTLE KILLS CRIMINALS NO SUPER POWERS, NO STEEL CLAWS N VERY LITTLE BODY ARMOR. IF THEY WANTED A "KINDER N GENTLER". THE SHOULD HAVE GONE TO C METEOR MAN. GHOST RIDER WAS GARBAGE ONLY BECAUSE OF CAGE AND THE VILLIAN... BLACK HEART THE ACTUAL EFFECTS WERENT BAD AT ALL
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