X-MEN: Professor Charles Xavier Fires CYCLOPS (Parody)

"The Pete Holmes Show" - Weeknights at Midnight/11 Central, After Conan

Cyclops possesses the mutant ability to project a beam of heatless ruby-colored concussive force from his eyes, which act as inter-dimensional apertures between this universe and another. Cyclops' body constantly absorbs ambient energy, such as sunlight, from his environment into his body's cells that allows him to open the apertures. Cyclops' mind generates a psionic field that is attuned to the forces that maintain the apertures. Because this field envelops his body, it automatically shunts the other-dimensional particles back into their point of origin when they collide with his body. Thus, his body is protected from the effects of the particles, and even the thin membranes of his eyelids are sufficient to block the emission of energy. The synthetic ruby quartz crystal used to fashion the lenses of Cyclops' eyewear is resonant to his minds' psionic field and is similarly protected.

The width of Cyclops' optic blast is focused by his mind's psionic field with the same autonomic function that regulated his original eyes' ability to focus. As Cyclops focuses, the size of the apertures change and thus act as a valve to control the flow of particles and the beam's relative power. The height of Cyclops's eye-blast is controlled by his visor's adjustable slit. The beam's effective range is approximately 2,000 feet. Due to a head injury, Cyclops is unable to shut off his optic blasts at will and must therefore wear ruby quartz lenses to block the beams. - Marvel Wiki