As we all know, Gal Gadot was an awful choice to play Wonder Woman and Batman v Superman: Dawn Of Justice is pretty much confirmed to fail because of this casting. Back when she was first cast, a petition was started on Change.org to have her removed from the role, with a whopping 139 supporters! It's obvious that the entire DC fanbase was against this casting decision, and Warner Bros. knew that would happen when they cast her. Why would they willingly put up with all this backlash? Well that's pretty obvious. It's because she isn't actually playing Wonder Woman.
Batman v Superman already has two full length trailers out, representing almost exactly what we should expect from this film. And out of those trailers, what was the one thing you noticed? Well, it was the fact that Gal Gadot's character was never referred to as Wonder Woman. Yes, she was called that in interviews, but Ben Kingsley was also called The Mandarin and Ken Watanabe was called Ras Al Ghul. Could DC be fooling us once again? I think so.
There have even been many sites reporting that Gal Gadot may not be Wonder Woman. According to a small blog somewhere in the depths of the internet, they have heard from their sources that she is indeed not playing the character:
"My source tells me in an alley behind this [frick]ing awesome strip club in LA that Gal Gadot is NOT playing Wonder Woman in Hack Snyder's 'Batfleck vs. Superman.'"
So who is the REAL Wonder Woman in Batman v Superman? Well, it's pretty obvious if you think about it. Wonder Woman will be played by:
Yes, that's right. Holly Hunter. Now, I know what you're all thinking. Isn't she already playing a character in the film? Yes, and just like in Batman Begins, she's being said to play a character with a small role to throw us off, then will be revealed to play one of the main characters. Just look at the similarites.
Holly Hunter is an A-Lister, just like Liam Neeson. He was cast as some random ass Ducard guy. But they wouldn't waste Neeson in a small role like that, so they made him Ras. Now, if you look at Batman v Superman, Holly Hunter is playing a character made just for this film. Why would they cast her just for this small part? Well, that's because they didn't.
We just established that she is definitely not playing the character we think she is playing, and combine that with the fact that we know Gal isn't Wonder Woman, we have a perfect match. But let's look at some more proof.
Let's start with a smaller piece of evidence, and that's the fact that she already starred in another superhero movie: The Incredibles. She did the voice for Elastigirl. Why would Warner Bros. hire an actress, who already played a superhero, to play a role in a superhero movie, and NOT play the superhero?! It just doesn't add up.
It's pretty clear they're trying to hide something from us. Let's look at the second trailer for the movie. We see Gal Gadot in the trailer as a character that looks a lot like Wonder Woman, but we'll speculate who that could be in just a minute. Let's look at the above shot where she is being thrown against a giant wall or something. This of course symbolises the fact that she's being thrown out of the role of Wonder Woman because of her skinny body and lack of boobs.
We also see her with a shield. This is further proof that this isn't Wonder Woman because Wonder Woman isn't Captain America. Even though she used a shield in the comics, it was only sometimes. Because she uses it in this shot, which is one of the two times we see her in the trailer, we know she'll have that shield for about half the movie. Wonder Woman doesn't use a shield for half of the comics in which she appeared for the last 20 years since her debut.
Now, let's get into more proof. In the picture below, you'll see a comparison between Gal Gadot and Wonder Woman, where the similarity is lacking, and below that you can see a comparison between Holly Hunter and Wonder Woman where similarity is much stronger. That obviously means something.
SUMMARY:
This all seems a little hard to swallow, but it all makes sense. Just look at these facts.
- A lot of people hate Gal Gadot as Wonder Woman
- That therefore means she cannot play Wonder Woman
- DC has been known to fool us in the past, like with the whole Ras Al Ghul scenario
- Gal Gadot's character being thrown against a wall shows that she's not Wonder Woman
- Wonder Woman isn't Captain America
- Holly Hunter looks more like Wonder Woman
- Holly Hunter can act
- Holly Hunter already played a female superhero
You can't seriously still tell me that Gal Gadot is still playing Wonder Woman. I have just proved that there is going to be a big plot twist in Batman v Superman. Now, as I promised earlier in the article, who is Gal Gadot actually playing. Well, it's obviously Lex Luthor.
The proof is in the video game LEGO Batman 3: Beyond Gotham. In the game, through whatever kind of circumstances leading to this, Lex Luthor reveals himself to be transgender and he dresses up as Wonder Woman. Here is an official photo from the game, just in case you don't believe me:
Now, why would DC include such a thing in their newest LEGO game if it wasn't because they were teasing at something to come in the movie universe? This scene in the game will refer to the super secret plot twist in Batman v Superman, which is that the Wonder Woman that we think is going to be in the movie, the one played by Gal Gadot, is actually Lex in disguise. They will then reveal the real Wonder Woman, the one being played by Holly Hunter. But, we already have an actor playing Lex Luthor, you may respond, that's Jesse Eisenberg! Well, there's an explanation for that.
You see, in order for "Wonder Woman" to do all those stunts, you need an actor that doesn't look like he'll pass out after accidentally walking into the bathroom the wrong way. But since the movie is going to reportedly cost upwards of 400 billion dollars to make, they needed to cast Gal Gadot to save money, as she's willing to take a job for a nickel and a bowl of Campbell's soup.
So, even though she's only slightly more in shape than Eisenberg, Gal Gadot was cast to play the fake Wonder Woman. Obviously, no one's going to notice that they will be switching actors once Gal Gadot takes off her wig to reveal Jesse Eisenberg's bad hair day, because they look so much alike. Just look at this image:
So, that's my Batman v Superman plot twist theory. I hope you enjoyed, because I put a lot of work into making this article to please a bunch of sweaty nerds online because I have no real friends. ALSO PLZ LIKE THIS ARTICLE. LOVE YOU, BYE!
Note: This article is a parody of this hilarious Batman v Superman theory over on Movie Pilot that made a lot of people on Twitter question the sanity of the author. This is all satire so don't go in the comments and tell me that I'm an idiot, because this article is not proof of that. Thanks for reading!