(This is parts
Parody, parts serious, so unless you're Margot Robbie or Gal Gadot, don't get your panties in a twist)
Hello, ladies and gals everywhere. I have seen the movie called Suicide Hotline about a boy calling suicide hotline and getting us through a recap of his tragic, tragic life and spoiler: he hangs himself. I don't know, i was drunk..
Oh, we're reviewing Suicide Squad. Sorry. So, i went and saw Suicide Squad, the movie that caused every marvelite to scream at DC for plagariazing their 'masterpiece' Guardians Of The Galaxy (which was decent, not perfect). I came in, sat in my seat and the screening began. It was an ominous feeling, really. Geeting to see Harley, Joker and Batman on the screen together was amazing and there were some cool actions sequences. But let's break them down here. Beware, some spoilers down below.
Characters
Man, some characters were boring as shit.
No offense, but seems Ayer just gave all the focus on Harley & Deadshot, because some Squad members barely got any shine, Killer Croc was pretty damn good, i want to see the actor show his full potential and to throw a rock at someone in the sequel.
Katana and Boomerang fall under the same bill. I expected Boomerang to steal the movie but the dude was like your useless friend in class who does nothing but jokes. It got pretty stale, though. Katana said some bullshit in Japanese and that's pretty much it. Wasted her beautiful actress. Anyways, onto Joker. The dude [frick]ing reeks. AWESOMENESS. I hated the emo dude from 100 Seconds To One Direction or whatever playing the Joker, but goddamn, he was lit. Played the Joker mastefully, only thing i am complaining about is that Joker acted like some common thug at times, which was just like 'come on, why?'.
As for Batman, my boy Ben Affleck returns once again as Batman, and he's so awesome, he's silent and badass. Basically BTAS Batman, to put it shortly. If you are a fan of TAS then this movie is the closest we've ever gotten to a live version of it, so be happy, you crying bitches.
Story
Look, i am not some hipster who wants a detailed story, or Zack Snyder, who's idea of maturity is to add grey stuff everywhere and have characters say shit and have 'dramatic' tracks and having Ben Affleck's ass. There: The ultimate guide to making a Zack Snyder film. The film's story was okay, although we got origins for characters who weren't really cool (Boomerang) and not for ones who deserved it (Croc). Harley's origin and Deadshot's origin stories were pretty damn cool, and DAMN! Deadshot hates Batman, like, really bad. Oh, and there's the Flash, for some [frick]ing reason. Also, MAJOR, MAJOR spoiler here: Scott Eastwood IS...(grab your popcorn)
He's NOBODY. NOBODY. No Deathstroke, No Nightwing, no nothing. Just some backup dude. That's it. I don't want to spoil any further, so let's just countdown the good and bad.
Good and Bad
THE GOOD:
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Good Characters
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Some Pretty Awesome Humor
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Fantastic Visual Effects
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Harley's Ass (Ca-Ching)
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Will Smith's First Role In Forever Which He's Not Phoning It In
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Jared Leto's Joker
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Awesome Cast
THE BAD:
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Shitty Villain
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Bad Pacing (The First Half Of The Film Or So..)
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More Time Given To The Wrong Characters
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Not Much Joker
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Not Much Batman
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Meh Post Credits Scene
While there are some missed chances,the movie is amazing. 8
/10.
That's all for me, boys, as for next time, remember...