Reed is in his lab, tinkering with some massive piece of machinery. A door slides open at the back of the room and Johnny Storm enters.
Johnny: Whatcha doin' Reed?
Reed: Something you can't pronounce, Johnny.
Johnny: Guess that's all I need to know.
Johnny goes into the living room and flops down on the couch. He swipes up an XBox controller and proceeds to turn on the console.
Johnny: Hey Reed, you wanna play a videogame?
Reed: Certainly not. I'm a little busy, Johnny.
Johnny: Awww, c'mon, it'll be fun! Just give it a shot!
Reed looks over, skeptical. Johnny shakes a second controller at him. Reed decides to take a break and play the game.
Reed: What's it called?
Johnny: Marvel Vs. Capcom 3! It's one o' the most fun fightin' games ever!
Reed: So, we can play as ourselves?
Johnny: Nah. Ben wouldn't let me sign the contract. So they just subbed us all in with Super Skrull.
Reed: Cheapos.
The character select screen comes up. Reed is shocked by what he sees.
Reed: Victor's in this?!
Johnny: Dude, he threatened to kill the developers if they didn't put him in it. They had no choice.
Reed: So, familiarise me with the controls.
Johnny: These arrow buttons move you and those letter buttons do attacks. These four back buttons, just slam 'em all down 'n' that'll do your special move.
Reed: How complex (#Sarcasm)
Reed selects his roster. Ryu, Hulk and MODOK.
Johnny: Hey, did Ben tell you about what Luke told 'im at poker night last week?
Reed: No, but I'd rather not waste my valuable time talking about the exploits of a villain. Now hurry up, I'd like to get back to work.
Johnny selects Dante, Chris and Deadpool.
Reed: Really?
Johnny: What's wrong with Deadpool?
Reed: He's a psychopath, Johnny.
Johnny: Yeah but I know all his attack combos.
The game begins. Dante vs. Ryu. Reed quickly gets the hang of it, so much so he extends one hand across the controller to play, while the other works on the machine.
Johnny: Jesus, Reed, d'you play this when nobody's home?!?
Reed: Johnny, I grew up on Street Fighter, you are no match for my sidescroller skills.
Johnny: We'll just have to see about that!
Johnny switches from Dante to Deadpool.
(In a far off warehouse, Deadpool becomes alert and starts punching at the air as if he no longer possesses control of his body)
Johnny: You're dead now, Mr. Not-So-Fantastic.
Reed: That the best you can come up with ash-brain?
Johnny: Don't get cocky, Reed! I'm just gettin' warmed up.
Reed: Yes, by the flames of my Hadoken. And it's about to get toasty in here!
Reed uses Ryu's special move. Johnny gazes on as Deadpool is battered by thousands of giant blue balls.
(Meanwhile in that same warehouse, Deadpool is launched through the ceiling and sent rocketing off in the direction of L.A.)
Johnny switches to Dante as Deadpool is badly wounded. Reed pours on Ryu's special attacks. The screen is erupting with, "Hadoken!" "Shoryuken!" "Hatsomakisan!". Johnny struggles to get a punch in.
Johnny: Are you button mashing?!
Reed ignores him as he puts the final beatdown on Dante. Dante falls. Only to be replaced by Trish.
Johnny: I was hopin' it wouldn't come to this! I suck with Trish!
Reed dispatches her easily as Johnny frantically smashes button after button. The incredibly low-healthed Deadpool reemerges from the side. Ryu stands still for a second.
Johnny: Play as MODOK, Reed, I'm beggin' ya! Just gimme a chance!
Reed switches to MODOK. Johnny let's out a cry of rejoice.
(In L.A. Deadpool finds himself in the garden of Kanye West. West stands over him)
Johnny lets out a barrage of gunfire as Deadpool.
(That's right! Deadpool stands up and lets out a barrage of pistol fire on Kanye West)
MODOK blocks the gunfire and Reed moves him in for the kill.
Johnny: No! No!NoOoOoOoOo!!!
Johnny mashes at buttons but it is too late. MODOK dominates the screen and says those fateful words. "Hyper Psionic Blaster!". Deadpool is pummeled by a ginormous purple beam. He falls in a nanosecond. Johnny drops the controller in shock.
Reed: Never game with the older generation, Johnny. Especially the ones who grew up on Street Fighter.
Johnny: ... Wanna play Injustice?
--------------------------------------------------------------
Meanwhile in L.A. ...
Deadpool is on the phone, with the gored remains of Kanye West before him.
Deadpool: I don't care what it costs! I want MvC3 disabled, y'hear!? I just shot Kanye West thirtythree times!
Person from Capcom Games: Sir, I just work in technical support I can't decommission the ga--
Deadpool: Oh, [frick] you, Eugene, you little smarmy freak!
He hangs up. Takes a moment then realises.
Deadpool: I could kill the Kardashians...
Irrational Deadpool: Duuuuuuuuuuuuuuude...
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That's a wrap on yet another Funhouse, hope you guys liked it and yes, Deadpool will be taking down the Kardashians in the next one, so be on the lookout. A big thanks to Ois-- I mean KillerPrince (:-P) for giving me the ideas.
I'll seeya next time, in Nova's Funhouse.
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