FAN-FIC: The DEADPOOL Movie And How To Make It

Hello fellow CBMers, I’m Khan. You may know me from such arguments with James T. Kirk and the entire cast of Zoey 101. But today my thinking cap is on, and I have thought of a successful way to put the Merc With A Mouth on the big screen. So hit the jump for a bomb of awesomeness!



Hello fellow CBMers, I’m Khan. You may know me from such arguments with James T. Kirk, Spock and the entire cast of Zoey 101. But today my thinking cap is on, and I have thought of a successful way to put the Merc With A Mouth on the big screen. I made an article about this over six months ago and it kinda sucked. The language was poor and the set up was terrible. Anywho, I’m back with this one and I’m gonna write something badass. So without further a do, let’s get to work on this Deadpool movie!

DEADPOOL & BOB'S THEME SONG


PLOT:
In the long lost land of original films, comes a film that will make your testicles explode with awesomeness. When our hero, Deadpool is hired by the masters of Hollywood to set out and kill actor Nicolas Cage, Deadpool works out his dream of opening a sushi bar. After opening a Sushi bar, Deadpool goes to find his best friend in the entire world, Bob Agent Of HYDRA. Bob is depressed after he was dumped by his long love, Domino. Along the quest to kill Nic Cage, Deadpool & Bob will find the meaning of friendship and how all girls are bitches. But Nic Cage is not alone, for Nic has assembled the greatest robot team ever. The Cagebots will stop at nothing to hunt down and kill Deadpool & Bob.


STYLE/TONE:
So I’ve been playing the Deadpool: Video Game recently and while I was staring at Rogue’s fantastic ass, I thought wouldn’t a Deadpool movie be great. I actually don’t know why that thought popped into my mind at that moment, but enough about that. I’m a huge fan of films like Wayne’s World & Austin Powers so Deadpool would be a mixture of those films with a bit of This Is The End & Fanboys. The film would be a comedy/action flick with a hard R rating on it.


ENDING SEQUENCE:
This ending has been in my head even before I came up with the film. At the end of the film, Deadpool has successfully killed Nicolas Cage and the world is saved from terrible films and horrible adaptions. Once dead, Deadpool grabs a beer with his new best friend Obi-Wan Kenobi. After a few sips Deadpool then breaks into song singing the classic Lonely Island song “I Just Had Sex”, the film ends with Deadpool, Obi-Wan Kenobi, Bob, Domino, Nicolas Cage’s head, Michael Bay and Ashton Kutcher as Steve Jobs. The film ends with the big song and everyone is safe.




CAST:

Charlie Day as Wade Wilson/Deadpool



Charlie Day is literally like my uncle. Funny story, my uncle looks like Mr Day and he to had boss problems, so he killed his boss… I’m kidding, my uncle touched a lady on the boobs and is now serving boob duty at Michael Bay’s dungeon of love. Anyway enough about my [frick]ed uncle, Charlie Day is Deadpool because he is Deadpool. We good? Okay next!

Jay Baruchel as Bob Agent Of HYDRA



Windows. This dude is hilarious, I love him in almost every movie he has done, except that weird time travel movie where he played a druggy who’s girlfriend dies on the same day as his period or something. I’m probably making it up, but yeah.

Aubrey Plaza as Domino



Parks & Rec <3. I love that show so much, and I love Aubrey that much. She is a goddess, she should win best picture every day of the year! Get on it Academy, [frick] Anne Hathaway… She’s already a Princess.

Michael Shannon & Terrance Stamp as General Zod



I don’t know why they are here, I’m honestly high right now so don’t go asking questions in the comment section below. Just stand and stare, because you’re going nowhere… yeah song lyrics.

Nicolas Cage as Nic Cage



The big bad boss man of the story (WWF reference what?????) Nicolas Cage is the perfect actor to play Nic Cage for the sole reason that he wakes up and takes a wiz everyday as Nic Cage. I think I should win fancast of the year award. Do we even have those? I think we should.

Amy Poehler & Ashton Kutcher as The Heads Of FOX Studios



Playing the [frick]ers who are keeping this movie off the big screen is Leslie Knope and Steve Jobs. These two tell Deadpool, that if he kills Nic Cage they will let him make a movie about his life. Thus we have Deadpool: The Movie.

The 40 Year Old Virgin as The Hood



Voted the worst super villain ever, The Hood is played by Andy. Andy is a 40 Year Old Virgin who stares at an Iron Man toy he got when he was 3 years old. First question is, what 3 year-old gets an Iron Man toy?

Michael Bay as The Childhood Rapist



The Childhood Rapist is an enemy who toys with Deadpool’s childhood. He gives Deadpool some hallucinations of what it would be like if he directed a My Little Pony Movie. Deadpool sees the horror of it and kills the Rapist once and for all.

Hipster Ewan McGregor as Hipster Obi Wan Kenobi



May the force be with you. No, the force is to mainstream.

Design Of The Cagebots
Water Drones:


Earth Drones:


Speed Drones:


Love Drones:


Nic Cage's Battle Suit Which He Wears In The Climax Of The Film:


Well kids that wraps it up. Glad you liked it. Comment below and let me know what comic book character I should do next (lol do); Next I’m doing Howard The Duck. And after that amazing journey through the mystic galaxy, I'm gonna do a....

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NOTE: This Article Is Was A JOKE.

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